Egypt!

I know what you have been asking yourself: "When is the guy who 'blogs' about evil piñata movies going to weigh in on the situation in Egypt?" Okay! My mother-in-law just got back from Cairo, which is her hometown. She was there for the whole ruckus! She called us up and told us all the jokes people were telling in the square. My mother-in-law says that her fellow Egyptians will always find a way to laugh, even in the toughest times. It's one of their defining characteristics, she says. We're glad she's back!

Giant Living Piñata of Happiness

I have it on good authority... wait, is this good authority? Mike Bulington told Kelly Hogan and Kelly Hogan told me. So that's third-hand information, right? But my informants are trustworthy. So I have it on good authority that Cee-Lo looked like "a giant living piñata" on the Grammy awards last night. Hogan facetiously inquires as to whether Cee-Lo starred in the evil piñata movie I have been watching. Had he, I am certain it would have been about a benevolent piñata who wants to entertain the people! On the same subject, an email from H. (another H., not Hogan!) came in, revealing her childhood fear of piñatas. "I got no candy and my hand was sliced open when a toy watch was snatched from my grip," she writes, so the fear is understandable! Hence H.'s theory that "all piñatas are evil."

Big Plans For Fat Boy

Should I spend the entire day doing nothing but adding "labels" to my "posts"? Before you answer, allow me to give you an example! If the "post" is about an evil piñata, I will put a label at the bottom that says "evil piñata." This will make my "blog" easier to navigate for people who enjoy evil piñatas! All right! I agree! It is time to roll up my sleeves and get to work. Photo by Blair Hobbs.

Your Final Piñata Report of the Evening

I promised myself I would make it to the part of the movie where the evil piñata comes to life, and I did. Let me say first that the score includes a synthesizer playing "Mexican Hat Dance" over a hip-hop beat. I would also like to observe that a couple of brothers (they have the same last name, anyway) apparently directed this movie, which is called PINATA: SURVIVAL ISLAND. They are like the Coen Brothers of evil piñata movies! So I should have seen this coming: after the evil piñata comes to life, it grabs a stick and starts whacking some poor dude. Because that's what we usually do to piñatas! But it's not candy that comes out this time. Here's the dialogue when they find the evil piñata: - "Let's crack it open!" - "We shouldn't!" - "It's a piñata!" - "You're right!" PS Based on the little I've seen, "Survival Island" is a terrible name for this island.

Evil Piñata Island

Okay! I am not kidding! The "present day" action of the evil piñata movie starts with a contest to find thousands of pairs of underpants that have been "scattered around the island."

The Sin-Filled Piñata

Wow! There is a lot of narration in this evil piñata movie! Here's a sample from the first few minutes: "As the sin-filled piñata floated away, the forces of nature continued to build." Don't worry, I paused it so I won't miss anything! I should tell you there is also a good piñata at the beginning of the movie, and a "village piñata maker."

Evil Piñata Alert

The evil piñata movie is coming on in like five minutes! It's on one of the "Showtime" channels.

Evil Piñata Movie

In case you're interested, there's a movie on RIGHT NOW about an evil piñata. It stars Jaime Pressley and the guy from the TV show BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. Here is some dialogue: "I saw those footprints. They had hooves. Legend says that the piñata has hooves and the actual heart of a pig." Then somebody else says, "Does the legend say anything about it coming to life?" Then the guy from BUFFY looks reflective and says, "Not that I recall." And Jaime Pressley says, "Then how do you explain that?" So I infer that at this point in the movie the piñata has already come to life, but Jaime Pressley sounds pretty calm about it! In fact, everybody seems strangely nonchalant. They're chatting! That's what they're doing: sitting around a campfire casually chatting. And then somebody else says, "When we broke it open we could hear the cries and suffering of a whole village. That's exactly what it sounded like." In case you're interested!