The Bolger Assertion

Hey, the other day, the ninth episode of ACE GOES HOLLYWOOD "dropped," as you kids like to say. You say it all the time! I can just hear you now, saying it. How I hate you! Where was I? You remember ACE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD. It's where, on the "web" site FLAMING HYDRA, I converse with Ace Atkins about his time working on the Pauly Shore film JURY DUTY. But today I was thinking not about the latest episode, but episode 6, in which Ace mentions Sammy Davis Jr. and I demand that he explain to the reader, if any, who Sammy Davis Jr. is. Ace doesn't think it's necessary. That's when I say, quote, "I told you, I work with kids that never heard of CHEERS! Which is fine. Why should they? You know what? It’s time for me to die anyway." To which Ace wisely replies, "Well, we gotta finish this first." You'll see the connection soon enough. Connection to what? Leave me alone! So, I've been reading a book about ancient Greece, but I'm not going to name it, because I'm enjoying it, but it's going to seem like I'm being peevish and critical when I say things like it seems to be written for people who have never read a book before. Like the author will interject - and this will be a paraphrase, but I wouldn't call it an exaggeration - "The ancient Greeks didn't have online banking like you and me!" Okay. Maybe she's being welcoming and chummy, and what's wrong with that? I'm the real monster here. We all know that. But late in the book she starts a sentence this way, and this is an exact quotation: "As Ray Bolger sang..." WHAT! It has the feeling, again, of being an attempt to draw in the reader cozily, conversationally, but WHAT! Not even I would start a sentence "As Ray Bolger sang..." and I've seen a lot of Ray Bolger movies. More than you have! I've seen more Ray Bolger movies than Ray Bolger ever did! And look. She's not even talking about THE WIZARD OF OZ. She's talking about something called "The Churkendoose." The Churkendoose! And here's where you smugly inform me that you know everything about the Churkendoose, and everybody knows about it, and you've thought about the Churkendoose every day of your life for as long as you can remember, and I'm the last person on earth who doesn't know about the Churkendoose. It's like the time I was so excited to see wild turkeys (of which the Churkendoose is a close relation!) and everybody got together to pee on my happiness. I'm just saying the hip kids of today aren't Ray Bolger experts. Or maybe they are! But I think maybe you're pushing them away! Hey! Remember the time I read a long, serious book about Hinduism and the author almost immediately quoted Garrison Keillor? Anyway, the Churkendoose came out as a book in 1946, and Ray Bolger croaked his way through the musical adaptation in 1947. Or, as A.I. so helpfully informed me (without me asking!), it was "first published in 2003."

Humor

They all said McNeil was crazy! Well, me. I said it. I said McNeil was crazy when he claimed that every 1960s movie features a desk with an obelisk on it. But today I watched ONE MORE TIME, which is a 1960s movie for all practical purposes, and, as you can see from this photo I took of the television screen, it had a desk with an obelisk on it. Now, there is no Jerry Lewis scholar I trust and admire more than Chris Fujiwara, but upon the conclusion of this repeat viewing, I must say that I have come to take exception to his description of ONE MORE TIME as "lacking in humor." For example, there is an old butler who is very slow, and as the old butler slowly totters across the room with a silver platter, Sammy Davis Jr.'s moustache and sideburns turn gray, and he (Sammy Davis Jr., transformed by his interminable wait) mutters to himself in a feeble, distracted manner indicating great age. Later, in an unrelated incident, he sneezes all the icing off a cake! A second sneeze issues forth with such force that an entire roomful of people is toppled to the floor.

Fly As Ever

Here's a photo from Kent's party. Look at all these geniuses. There's Adam in the foreground, as well he should be. And the back of Lyle Partridge's head is deep in conversation with Rebecca Sugar. And then I thought that was the back of Aleks Sennwald's head but Kent says that is the back of Tom Herpich's head! In fact, Kent pointed out, Aleks is visible way back there in the background, in another room, or another plane, ethereal and floating in a violet-blue (?) light. I just assumed she was a ghost! Oh, but continuing along toward the poster on the back wall we see Jesse Balmer and why there's none other than Seo Kim herself, thoughtfully musing! Meanwhile Jesse Moynihan leans against the other wall, as fly as ever in his downy sweater. I also see an elbow and a pocket flap and the back of another head. I'm not "blogging" anymore, but come on, you have to let me get the rest of this ADVENTURE TIME stuff off my chest. You don't want me to bottle it up inside, do you? DO YOU?

"Blog"trospective 16: The Twentieth Century

Hey, remember the twentieth century? Man, that was some century. I decided to do a "blog"trospective about it. We're going to see what the history of the twentieth century would look like based on the "blog." And we'll do it by regurgitating every time I have mentioned a particular year in the twentieth century. Why am I doing this? I am avoiding a lot of work I have to do, mainly transcribing the second hour of an interview about cigarette lighters. (Note: I know you won't read this "post"! Why would you? HOW could you? I got so bored by the mid-1930s that I stopped putting it together and started transcribing that interview again.) But enough about me! I give to you the "blog's" twentieth century. 1902: Hot dogs referred to as coneys. 1903: Bob Hope born. At the movies: THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY. 1908: The founding of the Lauer glove company. 1909: A biography of John Dee published. The Alaska-Yukon-Pacific Exposition. Boiled owls referred to as tough. 1911: Notable publications: THE SATURDAY EVENING POST. THE FAIRY-FAITH IN CELTIC COUNTRIES. 1913: A year during which part of THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN probably takes place. The word "pandiculation" is in the dictionary. A barber threatens his customer. 1914: Kafka writes in his diary about ostrich feather hats. 1915: Notable deaths: Scriabin and Gabriel von Max. In the American vernacular: "skeeky." 1916: At the movies: THE SMALL MAGNETIC HAND. Magazine of note: THE ELECTRICAL EXPERIMENTER. Other notable publications: LIMEHOUSE NIGHTS. 1917: Some mummies purchased. 1918: Oliver Onions changes his name. 1919: James Reese Europe cuts some tracks. First public appearance of Barney Google. 1920: Some kid says "googol." 1922: The jail on Pitcairn Island closes. A man starts hiccuping. 1923: Q-Tips invented. Oral Sumner Coad detects a similarity between Henry VI Part 2 and Macbeth. Vita Sackville-West publishes a long preface to the diaries of Lady Anne Clifford. 1924: Musical events: "Sneeze," Gershwin's "operatic parody." 1925: Publications: FAIRIES AT WORK. LAW OF SUCCESS. At the movies: THE MERRY WIDOW.

1926: A saucy photograph torn apart and taped together. 1927: THE ANATOMY OF MELANCHOLY supposedly first appears with the Latin completely translated in an All-English text. 1928: Notable publication: E.C. Segar's Popeye comics. 1929: Notable publication: MAGIC AND MYSTERY IN TIBET. 1931: Gary Cooper poses with a chimpanzee. A woman gets so scared by a movie she never goes back to the movies. Notable publications: THE SCANDAL AND CREDULITIES OF JOHN AUBREY. LO! by Charles Fort. Joan Crawford drinks champagne by the railroad tracks. A reviewer thinks Herbert Hoover's baby fat is cute. 1932: At the movies: BLESSED EVENT. On TV (!): THE TELEVISION GHOST. 1933: A brand spanking new translation of Aristotle. At the movies: GOLD DIGGERS OF 1933, COCKTAIL HOUR. 1934: Nedra Harrison begins her studies at Emerson College in Boston. 1935: Death of Fernando Pessoa. 1936: Nedra Harrison concludes her studies at Emerson College in Boston. Birth of Georges Perec. Notable publications: Mickey Mouse comics. NIGHTWOOD. MY TEN YEARS IN A QUANDARY AND HOW THEY GREW by Robert Benchley. At the movies: the full-color Popeye short "Sinbad the Sailor." 1937: Notable publication: ANIMAL TREASURE by Ivan T. Sanderson. At the movies: a short starring Mickey Mouse's dog Pluto. 1938: Walt Disney admits to an interviewer that he once stomped an owl to death. At the movies: BROADWAY MELODY OF 1938. ANGELS WITH DIRTY FACES. THE SHINING HOUR. 1939: Notable publication: FINNEGANS WAKE. Nedra Harrison portrays Lady Godiva. Beginning of the consumption of 15 million hot dogs and 15 million hamburgers.

1940: Ending of the consumption of 15 million hot dogs and 15 million hamburgers. Flann O'Brien completes the manuscript of THE THIRD POLICEMAN. 1941: Notable publications: ELECTRIC EEL CALLING. THEY GOT ME COVERED by Bob Hope. 1942: Kerouac attends a Frank Sinatra concert. At the movies: NIGHT MONSTER. 1944: Last person convicted under the Witchcraft Act of 1753. Notable publications: NAVAHO WITCHCRAFT. A TIME magazine article about the ventriloquist dummy Effie Klinker. 1945: filming on THE BIG SLEEP having been completed, Humphrey Bogart receives several massages. Movies did not often having closing credits. At the movies: SPELLBOUND. Notable publications: Archie comics. 1946: E.M. Bottomley purchases a 1923 edition of Lady Anne Clifford's diaries. Other notable publications: Archie comics. POLICE COMICS. A "Red Badge" mystery. THE CHURKENDOOSE. 1947: Rhubarb popularly declared to be a fruit. In the world of commerce and entertainment: the Chiquita Banana jingle. Ray Bolger sings of the Churkendoose. 1948: Notable publication: CULINARY ARTS INSTITUTE ENCYCLOPEDIC COOKBOOK. At the movies: RAW DEAL. 1949: At the movies: A Batman serial. Notable publication: a single-volume abridgment of Aubrey's BRIEF LIVES.

1951: Automobiles in production: The Bentley. On the radio: BOLD VENTURE! 1952: On television: THE HERMAN HICKMAN SHOW. UFOs spotted over New Mexico. 1953: a 4/5 quart bottle of Town and Racquet bourbon goes for $3.09 during the Gimbels 3-day liquor sale. Eleanor Roosevelt moves to 62nd Street. At the movies: THE CLOWN. Notable publication: MILTON CROSS'S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF THE GREAT COMPOSERS AND THEIR MUSIC. 1954: Filming of MOBY-DICK in Youghal, Ireland. 1955: Aliens speak with a Missouri farmer. Notable publications: HAVE TUX, WILL TRAVEL by Bob Hope. THE JOKER IS WILD by Joe E. Lewis. THE COMPLETE BOOK OF CHEESE. 1956: First entry in Charlton Heston's published journals. At the movies: BUNDLE OF JOY. U.F.O. Useful publication: The Daily Racing Form. 1957: Pilot ordered to shoot down a UFO. Automobiles in production: Ford Fairlane 500. 1958: At the movies: THE RETURN OF DRACULA. RALLY 'ROUND THE FLAG, BOYS! Eleanor Roosevelt moves away. 1959: A snotty article about Kerouac in LIFE magazine, the same Kerouac who uses the word "google" that year. Chimp stolen from the St. Louis Zoo. Jim enjoys eating coneys and fried chicken. Gombrowicz writes in his diary. At the movies: THE HIDEOUS SUN DEMON. LI'L ABNER. THE GHOST STORY OF YOTSUYA. SANTA CLAUS. Notable publications: THE LORE AND LANGUAGE OF SCHOOLCHILDREN, EARLY HAVOC. 1960: At the movies: WAKE ME WHEN IT'S OVER. 1961: JFK's fallout shelter constructed on Peanut Island. At the movies: THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM. 1962: Birth of a man who owns monkeys and dogs. Death of Faulkner. Integration of the University of Mississippi. Destruction of a haunted church. 1963: Bicycle safety video. Jerry Lewis talk show. Max Goodman begins his career at WKRG. Lee Harvey Oswald gives a lecture on communism in Mobile, Alabama. Frank Sinatra Jr. kidnapped. At the movies: THE HAUNTING. 1964: Margaret Best tucked into bed by a ghost. Notable Publications: THE FAR SIDE OF THE DOLLAR. FACTS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS FROM WASHINGTON TO JOHNSON. 1965: Newspapers erroneously report that James Brown wants to turn himself into a woman. Superman practices super-ventriloquism. Notable publication: MYSTERY IN SPACE. On television: JEOPARDY! At the movies: POP GEAR. 1966: Death of Ed Wynn. Charles Portis writes for THE SATURDAY EVENING POST. McNeil's grandfather checks out a book from the library. The Doom Patrol teams up with The Flash. Notable music: Porter Wagoner's "The Cold Hard Facts of Life." Notable publication: DARKER THAN AMBER. FLY MAN. At the movies: WAY... WAY OUT. DJANGO. WHERE THE SPIES ARE. On television: OPRY ALMANAC. 1967: THE THIRD POLICEMAN finally published (see 1940). Other notable publications: LETTERS TO THE AIR FORCE ON UFOS. TALES TO ASTONISH. At the movies: WOMAN TIMES SEVEN. CASINO ROYALE. WHO'S MINDING THE MINT? 1968: Elvis Presley's famous comeback special. Also on TV: DARK SHADOWS. Elizabeth's mother goes to the prom. Art Garfunkel begins keeping a list of every book he reads. The normally goofy Metal Men start going dark. Notable publication: Captain Marvel (Marvel Comics version). 1969: Bob Hope an occasional Nixon surrogate. Art Garfunkel reads WUTHERING HEIGHTS. The moon landing. cancellation of THE BIG VALLEY. Mickey Mouse used as a verb. At the movies, all H's: HAMLET. THE HAUNTED HOUSE OF HORROR. HOOK, LINE AND SINKER. 1970: Jack Palance sings. Tipsy diners in restaurants. The Hulk battles campus protestors. Coincidentally, Bob Hope organizes "Honor America Day," which he plugs when Jerry Lewis hosts THE TONIGHT SHOW.

1971: And yet the youth will have their say with Hair Bear Bunch lunch boxes. Butter and sugar sandwiches. Wadada Leo Smith. At the movies: COLD TURKEY. UNIVERSAL SOLDIER. 1972: A ghost at West Point. Messiaen hears an owl at Bryce Canyon. On television: GARGOYLES. THE NIGHT STALKER. At the movies: DRACULA A.D. 1972. THE BISCUIT EATER. X, Y & ZEE. Notable publication: 2010: LIVING IN THE FUTURE. 1973: Professor Irwin Corey visits the Acropolis. Bob Hope visits the University of Mississippi. Roy Blount Jr. visits Pittsburgh. I begin the longstanding, but not eternal, habit of watching the Academy Award ceremony. A letter from Giggleswick. Snow. At the movies: CANNIBAL GIRLS. BREEZY. THE THREE MUSKETEERS. 1974: Autobiographies of Colonel Sanders and Jeb Magruder. Other notable publications include a facsimile of Edward Kelley's seances with John Dee and WEBSTER'S NEW TWENTIETH CENTURY DICTIONARY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, UNABRIDGED, SECOND EDITION. Nixon's sound check. Bruce Springsteen bootlegs. Another letter from Giggleswick. At the movies: THE LORDS OF FLATBUSH. 1975: A TV movie about syphilis. Superman comic books. Gary Giddins badmouths Sammy Davis Jr. American Top 40. "Third Rate Romance." 1976: Robert Shaw co-hosts the Oscars. A teenager goes to somebody's apartment and eats a hot dog. Final entry in the published journals of Charlton Heston. Attacked by wolves, Dr. Doom plunges to certain death. I stop reading comic books. At the movies: CAR WASH. HARRY AND WALTER GO TO NEW YORK. GABLE AND LOMBARD. On television: The Paul Lynde Halloween Special.

1977: On television: The Brady Bunch Variety Hour. At the movies: FUN WITH DICK AND JANE. SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT. ROLLERCOASTER. HOUSE. Death of Chaplin. Notable publication: THE SMITHSONIAN COLLECTION OF NEWSPAPER COMICS. 1978: An uninvited owl joins in a Shakespearean production. At the movies: LONG WEEKEND. Notable publications: THE SATURDAY EVENING POST. 1979: Adrienne Barbeau weds John Carpenter. Lincoln Center tribute to Bob Hope. Bob Hope visits China. At the movies: PROPHECY. Was considered "the present" at one time. 1980: Edith Head designs a jogging suit. Norman Mailer is married twice in four days. Elvis Costello makes a TV commercial. A sitcom based on SEMI-TOUGH. 1981: Paul Schrader pouts about THE ABSENT-MINDED PROFESSOR. Michael Palin keeps a diary. At the movies: CONTINENTAL DIVIDE. Webster's Collegiate Dictionary gives the primary definition of gopher as "a land dwelling tortoise." 1982: A conspiracy theorist is arrested for soliciting a prostitute. Death of Djuna Barnes. Charlie Callas's final TONIGHT SHOW appearance. McNeil checks out a book from the library. At the movies: SWAMP THING. AUTHOR! AUTHOR! 1983: UFOs in the woods off Whangtown road. In addition to being overcharged for a remaindered volume of Albert Einstein's thoughts, McNeil records at least two Bob Hope double features and WHO'S GOT THE ACTION? Also on television: COCAINE: ONE MAN'S SEDUCTION. STARFLIGHT: THE PLANE THAT COULDN'T LAND. Phil Donahue does a show on sadomasochism. TBS airs BOEING, BOEING. CRACKING UP appears on Jonathan Rosenbaum's annual list of best films. Richard Nixon asks Robert Altman for a VHS of NASHVILLE. 1984: At the movies: DUNE. 1985: At the movies: RED SONJA and THE NAKED FACE. In music: "Sisters are Doing It for Themselves." The future creator of VERONICA MARS has a mullet. Max Goodman ends his career at WKRG. 1986: A Cutlass Supreme is named after Julie London. Dr. Harold Wallman's RV catches fire, destroying a human skeleton he owns. 1987: Death of Ted Owens, author of HOW TO CONTACT SPACE PEOPLE. TV is looked down upon. At the movies: MALONE. 1988: I get fired. An aged Jim Backus still broods over a slight by his parents. Nedra Harrison retires. In the comic books: Jack O'Lantern and Owl Woman.

1989: A year of bitterness and irony. I am skinny. An owl gets a hologram face. Zydeco Elvis wins the Battle of the Bands. The Spectre is ripped. On television: "Bob Hope's Christmas in Hawaii." At the movies: PHYSICAL EVIDENCE. 1990: A man stops hiccuping after 68 years. A priest gets a 10% discount. A band I am in travels to Jackson, Mississippi. At the movies: THE ROOKIE. 1992: I visit Milwaukee and the stage collapses. In the news: Johnny Carson trivia. 1993: I am employed. I accidentally drop my copy of a John Cheever novel into an airport toilet. At the movies: ANOTHER STAKEOUT, STRIKING DISTANCE and THE NIGHT WE NEVER MET. In music: "Blue and Far" (live). Notable publication: Leonard Maltin's Film and Video Guide. 1994: The Olsen Twins make a music video about being detectives. A Foster Brooks robot at the MGM Grand. Ward McCarthy and I attend an Elvis impersonator convention. At the movies: LITTLE WOMEN, THE FLINSTONES, and MIXED NUTS. 1995: Death of Grady Sutton. Home movies of the Foster Brooks robot. At the movies: FUNNY BONES. Notable publication: THE OXFORD COMPANION TO PHILOSOPHY. 1996: I buy a used book. An executive quits his job and blasts "Everybody Hurts" out of giant speakers. 1997: We sing a sea chantey. Notable publication: UNDERWORLD by Don DeLillo. 1998: I do not meet Phyllis Diller. Mark McGwire breaks a record. Dr. Theresa points at a hot dog. Kent Osborne visits Atlanta. A guy dreams there is gold buried in his field... and there is! 1999: People start making lists. Buffy Summers graduates from high school. Some guy sends his Bob Hope action figure on a trip around the world. At the movies: SHE'S ALL THAT. I read HANNIBAL on an airplane. I terrify Marvin Hamlisch in an elevator. Last time I talked to the guy who plays Don Pardo in the 2024 movie about Saturday Night Live. I meet either Francis Ford Coppola or a guy with a similar beard.

McNeil's Movie Korner

Welcome once again to McNeil's Movie Korner, where McNeil provides you with all the latest from the fast-paced world of film entertainment. While I was out of town McNeil sent me this picture of a CANNONBALL RUN board game. What I like best is that someone in a meeting surely pounded his fist on the conference table and said, "We HAVE to make sure Jack Elam is on the front of the box!" Because there he is. As we learned from Adrienne Barbeau's autobiography, someone got killed making this movie. Life is terrible.

Rude Goblin

The editorial footnotes to THE RICHARD BURTON DIARIES are relentless and picayune. "Bangs: a hairstyle involving fringes across the forehead," one informs us. When Burton mentions Sammy Davis, Jr., the footnote says, "entertainer." But occasionally there's a useful one. Burton records a conversation about the origin of the word pumpernickel, which he claims has something to do with Napoleon's horse. The footnote contradicts him. "This story is not true: the name comes from the German words pumpern (to break wind) and Nickel (goblin)." So I guess all you brainiacs already knew that pumpernickel was named after a farting goblin - pardon my French! - but it was news to me.

Beyond Explanation?

Ace Atkins was kind enough to speak to my hardboiled classes today. On the way to the second class, we stopped by the library coffee shop where they give away free books. Ace spotted one called BEYOND EXPLANATION? REMARKABLE ACCOUNTS ABOUT CELEBRITIES WHO HAVE WITNESSED THE SUPERNATURAL! (Exclamation point theirs.) Friends, he gave that book to me. That Ace! The back of the book promises information about "the Air Force base where Jackie Gleason was shown the bodies of aliens from outer space." Believe it or not (though why wouldn't you believe it? It's so typical) we have covered that story on the "blog" before. The copy goes on to promise other "unexplained phenomena" that happened to, and I quote, "James Dean, Abraham Lincoln, Gregory Peck, David Janssen, Henry Mancini, Sigmund Freud, Peggy Lee, Ernest Hemingway, Robert Stack and more..." you know, all the usual celebrities, listed in the logical order in which you would expect to find them. Speaking of celebrities, on our walk to campus, Ace told me about the time he ended up in the long-abandoned penthouse apartment of Sammy Davis, Jr., which still had its original snakeskin wallpaper hanging on the walls!

Music

That was John King, the ukulele virtuoso who passed away recently. I found out about him from the respectful obituary in today's New York Times. In other music news, Barry B. has a new favorite band: Sleepytime Gorilla Museum. I looked them up on youtube and they scared me real bad. Finally, THE SAMMY DAVIS JR. READER is not all roses and sunshine. Some blistering critiques are included. Last night I read one by Gary Giddins, I writer I enjoy and admire, but who seems to have, in the representative article, an almost helpless loathing for Davis. (He manages to get in some extraneous shots at Bob Hope, too, just because he's feeling mean and saucy, I guess - "his prehistoric witticisms memorized and spun out like ticker tape" - and just for a second we'll forget journalistic accuracy; I mean, even as a toddler I realized that Bob Hope never MEMORIZED anything. In fact, I may have scientifically deduced the existence of cue cards from his delivery.) Giddins's piece - a review of a Davis TV show featuring jazz musicians - comes from 1975, a time at which criticizing Bob Hope and Sammy Davis Jr. was about as daring and interesting as rolling a tortoise over on its back. But the really fascinating thing is the nature of Giddins's main complaint, which is about the state of televised jazz: he is bitterly offended that the only jazz musicians he ever gets to see on network TV - live or in archival footage - are (among those he names) Count Basie, Dizzy Gillespie, Sarah Vaughan, John Faddis, Billie Holiday, Coleman Hawkins, Lester Young, Ben Webster, Gerry Mulligan, Jim Giuffre, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, Dave Brubeck, Cecil Taylor, Sonny Rollins, etc., etc., etc., etc. Hey, where's Freddie Hubbard? he wants to know. What's the matter TV execs, are you afraid of Freddie Hubbard? (I'm paraphrasing, slightly.) If they weren't afraid of Cecil Taylor, I have a hard time imagining they were afraid of Freddie Hubbard, but this is Giddins's sincere and not in the least ironic complaint as a network TV viewer of 1975. I wonder if he imagined a future in which there would be hundreds and hundreds more channels and no jazz musicians on TV at all.

Bad "Blogger"

I have neglected to "blog" on several days over the past few weeks, and the lack of outcry has been striking. But I might owe you an explanation. Having acquired BIRDSONG BY THE SEASONS: A YEAR OF LISTENING TO BIRDS by Donald Kroodsma and THE SAMMY DAVIS JR. READER, edited by Gerald Early, I find that all other books - indeed all human activities and endeavors - suffer in comparison. No more "internet" or "meals" for me! The former volume comes with two CDs - 126 tracks! - and I wish the latter did as well. Just to show you there are no hard feelings I searched for a long time and found Sammy Davis Jr. taking a picture of himself and Jerry Lewis in a mirror.

All-Star Entertainment Wrap-Up

That's right! It's time once again for "All-Star Entertainment Wrap-Up." While "clicking" back through Jerry references recently, the staff came upon two nice pictures that were acquired by inadvertently "stealing bandwidth." We present them here properly unstolen, to make amends with the bandwidth community. One is Nancy Kwan. The other is Cleveland TV reporter Jenny Crimm (with Peter Lawford and Sammy Davis, Jr.). The "posts" where they were discovered also contained "links" to "web" sites about Ms. Kwan and Ms. Crimm, which, if you care to "click," you will find to be full of interesting entertainment information provided as a service to you in your one-stop "All-Star Entertainment Wrap-Up" environment. This has been your "All-Star Entertainment Wrap-Up." Until next time, keep "reaching" for the "stars"!

Jerry Is Nice, Says Man

You know, Scott Marks of Emulsion Compulsion got to MEET Jerry Lewis, AND talk to him on the phone every day for a couple of weeks. He promises to write down (one day) the whole story (or at least transcribe the 3-hour live interview he did with Jerry [pictorial evidence above]). Allow me to quote a recent e-mail sent to me by Mr. Marks: "Truffaut once wrote that he'd rather watch 'Kane' than have dinner with Orson Welles. Perhaps he feared that the artist couldn't possibly live up to the art. Not so with Jerry. He was remarkable. Kind, generous and, of course, very funny." That makes the "blog" feel good. I almost "blogged" about a guy I know who found an apparently drowned lizard in his dog's water bowl and gave it (successful) mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. He's the same guy who once coached a girls' basketball team that played against the team of Sammy Davis, Jr.'s daughter. But I'm not going to "blog" about the happily revived lizard because Jerry is more important. Speaking of which, in my upcoming Neko Case article, it will be revealed to the world in legitimate printed form that I once spoke on the phone with Jerry Lewis. I manage to cram in that fact for no justifiable reason. Keep your eyes on the "blog" for more startling revelations! Some of the lizard material we're saving up is pretty good, for example.

Distress Call

McNeil! What am I going to do with him? Yesterday, during a telephone call, he revealed something unexpected and distressing: He does not watch the "blog's" "youtube" clips IF they involve homemade things such as this fellow doing his Michael Caine impression or this talented young woman performing the opening number from the Music Man in her own home! To me, these represent the fulsome, egalitarian spirit of the "youtube." Yet at any sign of actual non-celebrity humans or so-called "unprofessional" production "values," McNeil immediately suspends the operation of his "youtube." McNeil prefers his own slick brand of MGMIEETs, and indeed submitted two samples today: THIS and THAT. Nothing against them! SPOILER ALERT! One contains Bob Hope, Don Rickles, John Wayne, and Bing Crosby while the other features Sammy Davis, Jr., and Batman. Fine! I can enjoy that. But why can't McNeil, in turn, appreciate the two young British gentlemen who try their best at a Laurel and Hardy number or some guys who take their bassoons into an elevator? That is all I ask! (Pictured, semaphore flags, which seem appropriate to the title of our "post.") P.S. Remember the time McNeil sent us some footage of an average joe enjoying a rainbow? Perhaps McNeil is more a "man of the people" than he seems! Perhaps!

Ah, Memory!

Talked to Mr. Ward on the telephone today. He said he had seen a lot of doctored pictures of Dennis Leary lately, promo bits for Mr. Leary's TV show RESCUE ME [One of Sheri Joseph's "faves" - ed.], in which Mr. Leary is shown with his jaw grotesquely distended. "I kept wondering what it reminded me of," reported Mr. Ward. "Finally I realized it was the logo for the Jerry Lewis Cinemas. Remember those?" "No," I replied. "They were all over New Jersey when I was growing up," said Mr. Ward. "They went out of business because he only showed G-rated movies. We'd be like, 'What's playing at the Jerry Lewis Cinema? Oh, 101 Dalmatians, which came out 12 years ago.' I haven't been able to find the logo, but I think it looked just like that picture of Dennis Leary." I sadly admitted to Mr. Ward that the Jerry Lewis Cinemas had never made it to Alabama. We were both near our computers, and thanks to the "internet," I was able to find a picture of the logo and show it to Mr. Ward long-distance. "That doesn't look like I remember it at all," said Mr. Ward. Ah, memory! Speaking of which, I have misremembered and badly reported a story that Mr. Ward told me: it wasn't Andy Warhol who noticed Mr. Ward's tiepin! It was Tom Wolfe. And it wasn't even a tiepin. Mr. Ward cleared up the matter for me. "I was an usher at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, for their lecture series," he said. "One day I was wearing my stupid skinny New Wave tie and holding it in place with a paperclip. I escorted Tom Wolfe to his seat. He was in his dapper little white suit. He looked at my paperclip and said, 'Oh, your sartorial choices are very eclectic.'" Mr. Ward repeated this latter phrase in an imitation of Mr. Wolfe's voice, which, in Mr. Ward's interpretation, fairly dripped with genteel scorn. This places it between the sincerity and joie de vivre with which Sammy Davis, Jr., received the pants of Barry B.'s friend [See the penultimate "link" in this "post" - ed.] and the open shock displayed by Tony Bennett when he saw my brother's sneakers.

Velvet Is Back

As you know, we were having a little trouble cataloguing velvet suits. But tonight we decided that if we limit ourselves to velvet jackets, everything will be fine. We went to a birthday party for renowned food writer (and so much more) John T. Edge at the City Grocery Bar tonight ... and what should John T. be wearing but a velvet smoking jacket? (To be fair, he made it clear that he does not smoke, and prefers to think of it as a "velvet drinking jacket.") Now we should say a few words about the City Grocery Bar, owned by Mr. John Currence. The bar has been referred to a few times on the "blog," though never by name. It is the place where I heard about the guy who coached a girl's basketball team who once faced off against the daughter of Sammy Davis, Jr. It is the bar where Tom Franklin told me how to get rid of wasps. Tonight at the City Grocery Bar, in honor of John T.'s birthday, Mr. Currence had imported hot dogs from Lobel's, a famous butcher in NYC, who, as John T. put it, "made hot dogs for Jackie O." Mr. Currence also provided homemade mustard (two varieties) and home-pickled onions, just to name two of the bevy of condiments. What else can I say but that the subject of Jerry Lewis came up. John T. told me about an older cousin of his, of whom he had been very fond as a young boy. This cousin's betrothed - a college man - had asked twelve-year-old John T. to name his favorite comedian. "Jerry Lewis," said young John T. "No, no, no," said the college man, gravely hurting the young boy's feelings. Tonight, on his birthday, I had the privilege of telling John T., "You were right and the college boy was wrong!"

Two Things That Are Fun to Say Like Jerry Lewis

I know very well that most of you youngsters have no clear idea what Jerry Lewis sounds like. Why, you've never even heard of Mr. Spock, to name but one common pop culture icon, as has been demonstrated here many times before. Yet I feel the need to express myself on this topic. I should also admit right out of the gate that it is impossible to duplicate Jerry Lewis's voice in a print medium. When I came up with that piece for the Believer on the theme "If Sammy Davis, Jr. Had Written Moby-Dick," the first draft was called "If Jerry Lewis Had Written Moby-Dick." But it was too hard! Bearing that in mind, we plug along: So, Theresa and I have been watching the enthralling TV series FIREFLY upon the recommendation of Dr. "M." The name of one of the actors is Summer Glau. Every time her name appears in the credits, I scream "Summer GLAU! Summer GLAAAAUUU!" like Jerry Lewis. "Are you going to do that every time?" Theresa finally asked. "Yes," I replied. Meanwhile, in New York City, Mr. Ward works in a place where the people have TVs on their desks, never mind why. There is a commercial for a product by the makers of the over-the-counter remedy Head-On, and one of its active ingredients is called "Chondroitin." When the announcer mentions that fact, Mr. Ward likes to yell out, "ChonDROITin!" like Jerry Lewis. No one in the office has any idea what he's doing. Now let us veer from the subject, as we like to do. Do you recall when Dr. "M." told us that "blog" "fave" actor Carlos Jacott was in an episode of FIREFLY? We must also comment on the fact that Christina Hendricks, who has a pivotal role in "blog" "fave" show MAD MEN, plays a fascinating recurring character in FIREFLY, as we have just discovered with our very own eyes. We leave you now with a clip from MAD MEN featuring Ms. Hendricks, who is the person with red hair. The chosen clip is somewhat literary, in keeping with our on-again-off-again status as a "litblog." Oh yes, I have gotten off the subject. As a quick reminder, the two things that are fun to say like Jerry Lewis are "Summer Glau" and "Chondroitin."

Lives of the Crooners

Welcome once more to our continuing series "Lives of the Crooners." So the other night I was in that same bar and I met a fellow who had coached high school women's basketball in Nevada. Once his team played the Lake Tahoe team. And the short, extremely talented guard on that rival team was none other than the daughter of Sammy Davis, Jr. "Her mother was in the stands, that Swedish actress," he said. "May Britt," I replied, earning the lifelong respect and admiration of all present.

Lives of the Crooners

Our entry on my brother's encounter with Robert Goulet has gotten such an amazing response (or SHOULD HAVE!) that we have decided to turn it into a recurring feature entitled "Lives of the Crooners." Like, what about the time that Tony Bennett criticized my brother's shoes? They were at a fancy shindig and Will overheard Tony Bennett saying, "The kid's wearing sneakahs!" in a disapproving tone of voice. Speaking of which, once upon a time, when Barry B. was working in the mailroom of a mammoth corporation, an entourage came marching down the hall. Barry B. was talking to a friend of his, who was wearing camouflage pants. When the leader of the pack breezed by, he said to Barry B.'s friend, "Nice pants, man." And the fellow who liked the pants was none other than... Sammy Davis, Jr. And now you know... THE REST OF THE STORY! Send your tidbits about crooners to "Lives of the Crooners," c/o the Pendarvis Amphibious "Blogging" Command Module, Oxford, MS.

McNeil's Movie Korner: Salt and Pepper Corrections

A call from Jeff McNeil today: first he wished to remind me of the imminent airing of UNDER THE YUM YUM TREE on TCM. Next he made some corrections to my recent account of the McNeil's Movie Korner Film Festival. McNeil contends that we made it through 40 minutes of SALT AND PEPPER, not 20 as previously reported. He also told me that he watched the next 20 minutes - that is, the last third of the first hour of the film - today, and he reports significant improvement. "Remember how we stopped the DVD when they got in Sammy Davis Jr.'s little yellow car?" McNeil inquired. "Well, the next fifteen minutes were nothing but them riding around in the car pushing buttons. One button released an oil slick. Another button put up a bulletproof windshield. I think there were about fifteen buttons, and they pushed all of them. It was a lot better than the first forty minutes." McNeil went on to report that Leonard Maltin, with whom the "blog" has feuded in the past, awarded ZERO stars and "BOMB" status to the SALT AND PEPPER sequel ONE MORE TIME but two and a half coveted stars to SALT AND PEPPER itself - rankings which, McNeil and I agreed, we would have reversed. (Pictured, Peter Lawford, the titular Pepper.)

The McNeil's Movie Korner Film Festival Wrap-Up, Pt. 1

Film scholars from all over the world have been pestering me for details about the McNeil's Movie Korner Film Festival. After letting it all sink in, I must say the festival began and ended with disappointment. The first twenty minutes of SALT AND PEPPER were all we could stand, for example. Yes, we men who can watch anything - defeated. We did watch it long enough to see the canary yellow turtleneck pictured at this "link," and thus were able to note that the leading lady of DON'T RAISE THE BRIDGE, LOWER THE RIVER seemed to have borrowed a lot of Sammy Davis Jr.'s clothes. On the plus side, SALT AND PEPPER made its own sequel ONE MORE TIME seem like a masterpiece. Now please understand. I am not recommending that the amateur should just dive into ONE MORE TIME. It requires years of training, of knowing what to look for. Mr. McNeil remarked at one point, for example, "I can tell Jerry [Lewis, who directed] walked everybody through this scene step by step." Imagining that was more fun than the actual scene! McNeil was also highly appreciative of Peter Lawford's special bachelor room in the castle, though the carpet was not shaggy enough for his (McNeil's) liking. McNeil still contends that THE PATSY is the pinnacle of Lewis' talents as a decorator. "The colors are more subdued," he explained. Then he gave Theresa an interesting lecture on attractive lamps in the films of Jerry Lewis... the way they match the drapes, and so on. At some point during the presentation, Theresa disappeared, and we sorely missed her for the rest of the festival. As for the disappointment that ended the program, THE WRECKING CREW contains off-the-charts misogyny, even if one adjusts for the cultural norms of the time or endeavors to think of misogyny as a mere plot device that runs the engine of a certain kind of farce. They blew up Nancy Kwan AND Tina Louise, for example. Blew them up! And I don't even want to tell you what happened to poor Elke Sommer. What a downer. But the festival did have its unadulterated highlights, which will be addressed in coming days. (Pictured, Nancy Kwan, so wrongly mistreated in THE WRECKING CREW.)

Announcing the McNeil's Movie Korner Film Festival

We are happy to announce the first annual McNeil's Movie Korner Film Festival, which will occur after the book tour and before the move to Mississippi. McNeil will make a rare personal appearance at the Pendarvis Building, where films will be screened and prizes awarded. The full schedule has not been determined, but we can say with some certainty that RIO BRAVO and SALT AND PEPPER (in a double feature with ONE MORE TIME, its Jerry Lewis-directed sequel) will be among the festival highlights. Also slated: the one where Jerry Lewis thinks he is dying but he is not, and the one where Bob Hope thinks he is dying but he is not. More announcements will be forthcoming as final decisions on the program are made. The event is not open to the public. (Pictured, Sammy Davis, Jr. and Peter Lawford, stars of SALT AND PEPPER and ONE MORE TIME, with Cleveland TV reporter Jenny Crimm.)