Friday, December 05, 2014

"Blog"trospective 16: The Twentieth Century

Hey, remember the twentieth century? Man, that was some century. I decided to do a "blog"trospective about it. We're going to see what the history of the twentieth century would look like based on the "blog." And we'll do it by regurgitating every time I have mentioned a particular year in the twentieth century. Why am I doing this? I am avoiding a lot of work I have to do, mainly transcribing the second hour of an interview about cigarette lighters. (Note: I know you won't read this "post"! Why would you? HOW could you? I got so bored by the mid-1930s that I stopped putting it together and started transcribing that interview again.) But enough about me! I give to you the "blog's" twentieth century. 1903: Bob Hope born. At the movies: THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY. 1908: The founding of the Lauer glove company. 1909: A biography of John Dee published. The Alaska-Yukon-Pacific Exposition. Boiled owls referred to as tough. 1911: Notable publications: THE SATURDAY EVENING POST. THE FAIRY-FAITH IN CELTIC COUNTRIES. 1913: The word "pandiculation" is in the dictionary. A barber threatens his customer. 1915: Notable deaths: Scriabin and Gabriel von Max. In the American vernacular: "skeeky." 1916: At the movies: THE SMALL MAGNETIC HAND. Magazine of note: THE ELECTRICAL EXPERIMENTER. Other notable publications: LIMEHOUSE NIGHTS. 1917: Some mummies purchased. 1918: Oliver Onions changes his name. 1919: James Reese Europe cuts some tracks. 1922: The jail on Pitcairn Island closes. A man starts hiccuping. 1923: Q-Tips invented. 1924: Musical events: "Sneeze," Gershwin's "operatic parody." 1925: Publications: FAIRIES AT WORK. LAW OF SUCCESS.
1926: A saucy photograph torn apart and taped together. 1927: THE ANATOMY OF MELANCHOLY supposedly first appears with the Latin completely translated in an All-English text. 1928: Notable publication: E.C. Segar's Popeye comics. 1929: Notable publication: MAGIC AND MYSTERY IN TIBET. 1931: Gary Cooper poses with a chimpanzee. A woman gets so scared by a movie she never goes back to the movies. Notable publications: THE SCANDAL AND CREDULITIES OF JOHN AUBREY. LO! by Charles Fort. Joan Crawford drinks champagne by the railroad tracks. A reviewer thinks Herbert Hoover's baby fat is cute. 1932: At the movies: BLESSED EVENT. On TV (!): THE TELEVISION GHOST. 1933: At the movies: GOLD DIGGERS OF 1933. 1934: Nedra Harrison begins her studies at Emerson College in Boston. 1936: Nedra Harrison concludes her studies at Emerson College in Boston. Notable publications: Mickey Mouse comics. MY TEN YEARS IN A QUANDARY AND HOW THEY GREW by Robert Benchley. At the movies: the full-color Popeye short "Sinbad the Sailor." 1937: Notable publication: ANIMAL TREASURE by Ivan T. Sanderson. At the movies: a short starring Mickey Mouse's dog Pluto. 1938: Walt Disney admits to an interviewer that he once stomped an owl to death. At the movies: BROADWAY MELODY OF 1938. ANGELS WITH DIRTY FACES. THE SHINING HOUR. 1939: Nedra Harrison portrays Lady Godiva. Beginning of the consumption of 15 million hot dogs and 15 million hamburgers.
1940: Ending of the consumption of 15 million hot dogs and 15 million hamburgers. Flann O'Brien completes the manuscript of THE THIRD POLICEMAN. 1941: Notable publications: ELECTRIC EEL CALLING. THEY GOT ME COVERED by Bob Hope. 1942: Kerouac attends a Frank Sinatra concert. At the movies: NIGHT MONSTER. 1944: Last person convicted under the Witchcraft Act of 1753. Notable publications: NAVAHO WITCHCRAFT. A TIME magazine article about the ventriloquist dummy Effie Klinker. 1945: Notable publications: Archie comics. 1946: Notable publications: Archie comics. POLICE COMICS. A "Red Badge" mystery. 1947: Rhubarb popularly declared to be a fruit. In the world of commerce and entertainment: the Chiquita Banana jingle. 1948: Notable publication: CULINARY ARTS INSTITUTE ENCYCLOPEDIC COOKBOOK. At the movies: RAW DEAL. 1949: At the movies: A Batman serial. Notable publication: a single-volume abridgment of Aubrey's BRIEF LIVES.
1951: Automobiles in production: The Bentley. 1952: On television: THE HERMAN HICKMAN SHOW. UFOs spotted over New Mexico. 1953: a 4/5 quart bottle of Town and Racquet bourbon goes for $3.09 during the Gimbels 3-day liquor sale. At the movies: THE CLOWN. Notable publication: MILTON CROSS'S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF THE GREAT COMPOSERS AND THEIR MUSIC. 1954: Filming of MOBY-DICK in Youghal, Ireland. 1955: Aliens speak with a Missouri farmer. Notable publications: HAVE TUX, WILL TRAVEL by Bob Hope. THE JOKER IS WILD by Joe E. Lewis. THE COMPLETE BOOK OF CHEESE. 1956: At the movies: BUNDLE OF JOY. U.F.O. 1957: Pilot ordered to shoot down a UFO. Automobiles in production: Ford Fairlane 500. 1958: At the movies: THE RETURN OF DRACULA. RALLY 'ROUND THE FLAG, BOYS! 1959: A snotty article about Kerouac in LIFE magazine. Chimp stolen from the St. Louis Zoo. At the movies: THE HIDEOUS SUN DEMON. LI'L ABNER. THE GHOST STORY OF YOTSUYA. SANTA CLAUS. Notable publication: THE LORE AND LANGUAGE OF SCHOOLCHILDREN. 1960: At the movies: WAKE ME WHEN IT'S OVER. 1961: JFK's fallout shelter constructed on Peanut Island. At the movies: THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM. 1962: Birth of a man who owns monkeys and dogs. Death of Faulkner. Destruction of a haunted church. 1963: Bicycle safety video. Jerry Lewis talk show. Max Goodman begins his career at WKRG. Lee Harvey Oswald gives a lecture on communism in Mobile, Alabama. Frank Sinatra Jr. kidnapped. At the movies: THE HAUNTING. 1964: Margaret Best tucked into bed by a ghost. Notable Publications: THE FAR SIDE OF THE DOLLAR. FACTS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS FROM WASHINGTON TO JOHNSON. 1965: Newspapers erroneously report that James Brown wants to turn himself into a woman. Notable publication: MYSTERY IN SPACE. On television: JEOPARDY! At the movies: POP GEAR. 1966: Death of Ed Wynn. Charles Portis writes for THE SATURDAY EVENING POST. The Doom Patrol teams up with The Flash. Notable music: Porter Wagoner's "The Cold Hard Facts of Life." Notable publication: DARKER THAN AMBER. At the movies: WAY... WAY OUT. DJANGO. On television: OPRY ALMANAC. 1967: THE THIRD POLICEMAN finally published (see 1940). Other notable publications: LETTERS TO THE AIR FORCE ON UFOS. TALES TO ASTONISH. At the movies: WOMAN TIMES SEVEN. CASINO ROYALE. WHO'S MINDING THE MINT? 1968: Elvis Presley's famous comeback special. Elizabeth's mother goes to the prom. Art Garfunkel begins keeping a list of every book he reads. The normally goofy Metal Men start going dark. Notable publication: Captain Marvel (Marvel Comics version). 1969: Bob Hope an occasional Nixon surrogate. Art Garfunkel reads WUTHERING HEIGHTS. The moon landing. cancellation of THE BIG VALLEY. Mickey Mouse used as a verb. At the movies, all H's: HAMLET. THE HAUNTED HOUSE OF HORROR. HOOK, LINE AND SINKER. 1970: Jack Palance sings. Tipsy diners in restaurants. The Hulk battles campus protestors. Coincidentally, Bob Hope organizes "Honor America Day," which he plugs when Jerry Lewis hosts THE TONIGHT SHOW.
1971: And yet the youth will have their say with Hair Bear Bunch lunch boxes. Butter and sugar sandwiches. Wadada Leo Smith. At the movies: COLD TURKEY. UNIVERSAL SOLDIER. 1972: A ghost at West Point. Messiaen hears an owl at Bryce Canyon. On television: GARGOYLES. THE NIGHT STALKER. At the movies: DRACULA A.D. 1972. THE BISCUIT EATER. X, Y & ZEE. Notable publication: 2010: LIVING IN THE FUTURE. 1973: Professor Irwin Corey visits the Acropolis. Bob Hope visits the University of Mississippi. Roy Blount Jr. visits Pittsburgh. At the movies: CANNIBAL GIRLS. BREEZY. THE THREE MUSKETEERS. 1974: Autobiographies of Colonel Sanders and Jeb Magruder. Other notable publications include a facsimile of Edward Kelley's seances with John Dee and WEBSTER'S NEW TWENTIETH CENTURY DICTIONARY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, UNABRIDGED, SECOND EDITION. Nixon's sound check. Bruce Springsteen bootlegs. At the movies: THE LORDS OF FLATBUSH. 1975: A TV movie about syphilis. Superman comic books. Gary Giddins badmouths Sammy Davis Jr. American Top 40. 1976: Robert Shaw co-hosts the Oscars. A teenager goes to somebody's apartment and eats a hot dog. At the movies: CAR WASH. HARRY AND WALTER GO TO NEW YORK. GABLE AND LOMBARD. On television: The Paul Lynde Halloween Special.
1977: On television: The Brady Bunch Variety Hour. At the movies: FUN WITH DICK AND JANE. SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT. ROLLERCOASTER. HOUSE. Death of Chaplin. Notable publication: THE SMITHSONIAN COLLECTION OF NEWSPAPER COMICS. 1979: Adrienne Barbeau weds John Carpenter. Lincoln Center tribute to Bob Hope. Bob Hope visits China. At the movies: PROPHECY. Was considered "the present" at one time. 1980: Edith Head designs a jogging suit. Norman Mailer is married twice in four days. Elvis Costello makes a TV commercial. A sitcom based on SEMI-TOUGH. 1981: Paul Schrader pouts about THE ABSENT-MINDED PROFESSOR. Michael Palin keeps a diary. At the movies: CONTINENTAL DIVIDE. Webster's Collegiate Dictionary gives the primary definition of gopher as "a land dwelling tortoise." 1982: A conspiracy theorist is arrested for soliciting a prostitute. Charlie Callas's final TONIGHT SHOW appearance. At the movies: SWAMP THING. AUTHOR! AUTHOR! 1983: UFOs in the woods off Whangtown road. On television: COCAINE: ONE MAN'S SEDUCTION. STARFLIGHT: THE PLANE THAT COULDN'T LAND. Phil Donahue does a show on sadomasochism. TBS airs BOEING, BOEING. CRACKING UP appears on Jonathan Rosenbaum's annual list of best films. Richard Nixon asks Robert Altman for a VHS of NASHVILLE. 1984: At the movies: DUNE. 1985: At the movies: RED SONJA and THE NAKED FACE. In music: "Sisters are Doing It for Themselves." The future creator of VERONICA MARS has a mullet. Max Goodman ends his career at WKRG. 1986: A Cutlass Supreme is named after Julie London. Dr. Harold Wallman's RV catches fire, destroying a human skeleton he owns. 1987: Death of Ted Owens, author of HOW TO CONTACT SPACE PEOPLE. At the movies: MALONE. 1988: I get fired. An aged Jim Backus still broods over a slight by his parents. Nedra Harrison retires.
1989: I am skinny. An owl gets a hologram face. On television: "Bob Hope's Christmas in Hawaii." At the movies: PHYSICAL EVIDENCE. 1990: A man stops hiccuping after 68 years. A band I am in travels to Jackson, Mississippi. 1992: I visit Milwaukee and the stage collapses. In the news: Johnny Carson trivia. 1993: I accidentally drop my copy of a John Cheever novel into an airport toilet. At the movies: ANOTHER STAKEOUT, STRIKING DISTANCE and THE NIGHT WE NEVER MET. In music: "Blue and Far" (live). Notable publication: Leonard Maltin's Film and Video Guide. 1994: The Olsen Twins make a music video about being detectives. A Foster Brooks robot at the MGM Grand. Ward McCarthy and I attend an Elvis impersonator convention. At the movies: LITTLE WOMEN, THE FLINSTONES, and MIXED NUTS. 1995: Death of Grady Sutton. Home movies of the Foster Brooks robot. At the movies: FUNNY BONES. Notable publication: THE OXFORD COMPANION TO PHILOSOPHY. 1996: I buy a used book. An executive quits his job and blasts "Everybody Hurts" out of giant speakers. 1997: We sing a sea chantey. Notable publication: UNDERWORLD by Don DeLillo. 1999: Buffy Summers graduates from high school. Some guy sends his Bob Hope action figure on a trip around the world. I read HANNIBAL on an airplane. I terrify Marvin Hamlisch in an elevator. I meet either Francis Ford Coppola or a guy with a similar beard.