Redolent of Cocoa Butter

The horrible chocolate wine makes an appearance in the Megan Abbott interview (the shocking truth about the horrible chocolate wine may stun and amaze you!), a fact to which Megan alluded in a tweet. As a result, she is now "followed" on "twitter" by "Top Brass Vodka: 80 PROOF WHITE CHOCOLATE ALMOND DESSERT VODKA - REDOLENT OF COCOA BUTTER." Sounds classy!

Kangaroos

In John Hodgman's new book THAT IS ALL (note to the government: I paid for it myself!), he explains wine: "if you drink a glass of red wine every day, you will become immortal! And also you will start to look like Francis Ford Coppola." White wine: "you feel like you are licking wooden furniture made out of headaches." How to pick wine: "Does the label have a kangaroo on it? GOOD. Does it have a quirky picture of the winemaker's dog on it, and is it named for that crazy, funny, ugly dog? Even better." Speaking of kangaroos, I watched the PBS documentary about Woody Allen. It features clips of some early TV appearances in which Woody Allen boxes an actual kangaroo and sings to a poodle. That is reality! In conclusion, Hodgman does not mention the horrible chocolate wine.

Foodstuffs!

Welcome once again to "Foodstuffs!" - the only place on the "internet" to read about food. It occurs to me that any of the four previous "posts" might have served as a new edition of "Foodstuffs!", concerning as they did horrible chocolate wine, pig fragments, blobs of rice, and ammonia Coke. Mmmmmm, some menu. Reminds me of a postcard Kelly Hogan sent me many years ago (see above). Speaking of ammonia Coke, my friend from "She Blogged By Night" writes in with an interesting explanation: "Ammonia Coke contains Aromatic Spirits of Ammonia, i.e. smelling salts!"

An Alarming Report

"Blog" Deputy Rhea reports that the horrible chocolate wine now comes with "espresso flavor" added to the already unholy mixture. Curiously, there is no indication that she became violently ill while typing the message. Indeed, her tone is perversely happy.

The Important Thing

The important thing is that we are starting a community dialogue about the horrible chocolate wine.

People Want to Believe

People keep hopping on the facebook to try to convince me that the (surely) horrible chocolate wine might be okay.

Horrible Chocolate Wine Update Update

John Currence reports photographing the (presumably!) horrible chocolate wine in Florida. And no, that's not a typo in the title. It's an "update" of the "update"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I'm filled with delightful whimsy.

Don't Listen to the Horrible Chocolate Winemakers

The horrible chocolate wine "web" site suggests a cocktail made of chocolate vodka AND chocolate wine! Chocolate vomit!

Nothing But Horror

"The wrong wine opposite a too-sweet chocolate creates nothing but horror." So declares the "web" site for the (I assume!) horrible chocolate wine. I "link" to it only to account for the discrepancy between the label in the recent photograph ("the taste of dutch chocolate and fine red wine") and the sign I saw in the wine store ("the great taste of Dutch chocolate and fine Cabernet wine").

Horrible Chocolate Wine Update

Remember the chocolate wine I told you about? Sure you do! Thinking about it is probably why you vomit all the time. Well, John Currence just sent me a picture of the horrible chocolate wine! He saw it somewhere in his travels as he traveled, wherever he is now traveling in his many travels. He didn't say. And he took a picture of it and here it is. I have asked him and maybe he will reply and then I will tell you on my "blog" exactly where John Currence saw the horrible chocolate wine. Maybe the horrible chocolate wine is delicious! I have not tried it. I am sorry I doubted you, horrible chocolate wine.

Foodstuffs!

Welcome to a special all-beverage edition of "Foodstuffs!" - the "blog's" great new column about foodstuffs! And beverages! I was just at the wine store and they were selling chocolate wine! What can I say? It made me feel bad inside to look at it. The slogan on the label proclaimed it to have "the great taste of Dutch chocolate and fine cabernet wine." Oh, I feel so bad just typing this. The stuff on the inside of the bottle looked like Yoo-Hoo. That's not a euphemism! Although it is also a euphemism. But the chocolate wine appeared to resemble in color and consistency a Yoo-Hoo brand chocolate drink. Now onto some more positive beverage news! The New York Times Sunday magazine is featuring our local dairy heroes the Brown Family Dairy (just bought some of their milk, cream, and butter this morning - and the milk was milked just yesterday!). Now, for my money, John T. Edge's article, to which the "blog" has "linked" in the past, is the final word on the Brown Family Dairy. But it's a nice article in the Times and I'm glad to see the story getting out there.