Caramel Laryngitis

Last night Dr. Theresa and I were watching a movie called SKYJACKED, about some poor saps getting skyjacked, and from his radio tower, the mousy character actor John Fiedler said to pilot Charlton Heston, "You are five by five," which those of you who recall with fondness a certain "blog" "post" from October 28, 2019, will know why I am telling you, and if you do, will you please tell me? I had a lot of good reasons for not typing this. I was like, well, no one will know who John Fiedler is. He has a certain kind of voice I associate with Sterling Holloway and Percy Helton, and nobody knows who they are, either. It's a voice... well, laryngitic, high-pitched, and to use Megan Abbott's adjective, caramely. (It's her birthday today! Happy birthday, Megan!) I was surprised that John Fiedler's voice wasn't as caramely or laryngitic as I recalled in his SKYJACKED performance, though it did remain high-pitched. "I should put a photo of John Fiedler on the 'post'!" Or so I mused silently to myself in the privacy of my own home. He was a meek patient of TV psychiartrist Bob Newhart and he was cast against type as - John Fiedler spoiler alert! - Jack the Ripper on STAR TREK. But even if I add such details, no one will know who he is, and even if I "post" an image, no one will know who he is, they will be like, "Who's that?" and I really should "post" a photo of Percy Helton instead, though I won't, because certainly more people have forgotten Percy Helton. Furthermore (I continued to think), I believe I learned somewhere around 2009 that the "blog" is only allowed to upload a certain number of images, and when you go over the limit, the "blog" people just unplug your sorry ass and your "blog" disappears. Pardon my blue language! But it's all so distressing. That's no excuse. Anyway, I've been doing this for (dear God!) for just about 18 years now, and will a pointless image of John Fiedler (bespectacled, to the left of the aforementioned Newhart) be the thing that brings us all sweet relief?

Dramatics

Last night I watched JULIUS CAESAR, the version with Marlon Brando, and I don't even know why. I've watched it before and can't recall being much of anything but bored. This time I was really into it! I was like, "WHAT!" I was like, "These characters are really in a pickle now!" Also, Casca says, "And yesterday the bird of night did sit even at noonday upon the marketplace, hooting and shrieking." So I've decided that's an owl. Sure, there are night birds that are not owls, but what bird other than an owl hoots and shrieks? MY DECISION IS FINAL. Edmond O'Brien (pictured) is really good as Casca. Usually you think of him as a guy in noir or westerns. He's one sweaty assassin! Maybe that's why they hired him. He's especially good when he's acting at John Gielgud. He really shows up Gielgud's silvery vibrato. Ha ha, what a terrible description of Gielgud's voice. It does quaver dramatically, though. I think. I remember when Megan Abbott asked me for an adjective to describe John Huston's voice and I said, "Growly?" and Megan said, "I'd say the opposite! But I always use caramely." Anyway, Gielgud's voice is good for this one line where Brutus accuses him of taking bribes and he says, "I, an itchy palm?!!!???!!!!!??!!!!????!!!!!!!" And I'll add that the most sarcastic thing I've ever heard in a movie is the way Brando says, "Oh... NOW you weep." That's how he says it. "Oh... NOW you weep."

Caramel Apples

Hey, look at this interview with Janet Jackson! She says her guilty pleasure is caramel apples and the last book she read was QUEENPIN by "Blog" Buddy Megan Abbott! I think Ms. Jackson's song "Nasty Boys" would be even better if it had a line like, "Who's that eating those caramel apples? Nasty boys!" Hey, I am "teaching" QUEENPIN in the spring semester. It's almost as if Janet Jackson and I are best friends, wouldn't you agree?

The Butterscotch Dilemma

Not quite a Robert Ludlum title, but close. Larry King is back on Twitter and he wants to know the difference between caramel and butterscotch. Somebody help the man out!

What Cooking Last Night Taught Me

There is an awfully thin line between "caramelized" and "burnt."

Last Ice Cream

Last time to go to Pura Vida, the tapas place across the street. We will miss you after our move, Pura Vida! What was tonight's homemade ice cream, you ask? How about corn and hot peppers, with a caramelized corn topping? Oh yeah? And what about vanilla with foie gras sauce? That's what I said. Dig it.