Half a Panda Act

Got kind of stuck halfway through writing a SpongeBob script so I jumped in the car and went to see the new Chris Rock movie, which I am happy to report is a "sad clown" movie in the old tradition, where the sad clown learns that the most important gift he can give is the gift of laughter. Rock's character - the sad clown in question - even talks about Chaplin. And at what is arguably the climax of the movie (spoiler alert!), DMX appears and sings the Chaplin composition "Smile." So I don't think I am crazy. Now let us move on to the dwindling pages of this Bob Hope biography I am reading. Several things about Bob's 1979 trip to China tickle me in just the right way. Bob brought Peaches and Herb with him because "Hope thought their hit song 'Reunited' was a good theme for the trip." I just like to think of Bob Hope listening to a Peaches and Herb 45 and saying something like, "You know, these kids are really onto something!" I find it amusing that Dolores Hope carried "packets of Cup-a-Soup in her luggage" in case she didn't like the food in China! I find it adorable that Bob took a tai-chi class and spoke to Chinese film students about MONSIEUR BEAUCAIRE. And I enjoy this sentence very much: "The owner of a trained panda complained that he wasn't getting paid enough and said he would allow the show to use only half of the panda's act."

Sizzling Celebrity Gossip

Welcome once again to "Sizzling Celebrity Gossip" - your one stop on the "internet" for gossip about celebrities that is of the sizzling variety that crackles and sizzles so much! THIS JUST IN! A frantic phone message from our correspondent McNeil: "WHERE ARE YOU? Jerry Lewis has a twitter account. All solid one-liners. 'Roscoe is the least common name for a panda.'" Our "Sizzling Celebrity Gossip" editorial staff visited the site at once, of course, hoping for some sizzling celebrity gossip. And boy did we find it! "Try prying a shrimp cocktail from Olivia De Havilland. Can't be done." THIS IS HOT STUFF! There's a small glitch: it's obviously a fake Jerry Lewis with a fake twitter account. How can I tell? Jerry would never choose that picture of himself! BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THE GOSSIP ISN'T REAL. Real gossip by its nature is probably fake and that is the great thing about gossip. Kelly Hogan recently got us excited about a FRASIER reunion but it turned out to be fake David Hyde Pierce tweeting to fake Kelsey Grammer. Here's the clue: THEY USED TOO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS. The real Frasier would never end a sentence with three exclamation points. But sometimes it's fun to pretend! Speaking of twitter I think it is okay to say that singing sensation Neko Case had oatmeal for dinner last night. She put it on her twitter right there in public for the world to see. OATMEAL! IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER. THIS JUST IN! Werner Herzog may have a complicated relationship with turkeys but he positively hates chickens. Herzog is quoted in MAGIC HOURS, the new book by Tom Bissell: "Look into the eyes of a chicken and you will see real stupidity. It is a kind of bottomless stupidity, a fiendish stupidity. They are the most horrifying, cannibalistic and nightmarish creatures in the world." Hey chicken lovers, send your letters to Werner Herzog, not "Sizzling Celebrity Gossip." We're just reporting the facts! And the gossip! In conclusion, WERNER HERZOG REALLY HATES CHICKENS! THIS JUST IN! Last night I couldn't sleep and I saw part of a live-action movie about MR. MAGOO. Malcolm McDowell was in it which should have been a little bit surprising but wasn't. Mr. Magoo was masquerading as an assassin. This is not an activity I associate with Mr. Magoo! And he seemed to have very little trouble with his eyesight in the portion I watched. What is going on? DOES EACH GENERATION GET THE MR. MAGOO IT DESERVES?

Meat and Potatoes

Barry B. chimes in on those silent old Super 8 movies we silent old men used to project on our walls when we were silent old children. Part III of our continuing series! Here's what Barry had to say: "One of my favorites was entitled 'Good Old Corn.' It had several segments put together from old Keystone movies. One segment had this guy diving off a pier into the ocean and where he dives is only a couple feet deep. He’s upside down – his head underwater - with his legs kicking forever then the tide pulls out a little and we see him standing on his head then he falls over. There was another segment with a young woman walking an ultra rickety old man (like her grandfather) when a young man comes along and – I believe smarts off to the old man – when suddenly the little old man does this Popeye like transformation (more mental than physical) and starts chasing the young man around and beating him up. There was a big Keystone Kop chase at the end. I think the one I had with Ben Turpin and the pie fight was called Keystone Hotel. One time I got a super 8 from K Mart called The Spider and on the cover there was a spider with a skull head. When I watched the movie it was just a giant spider (with NO skeleton head). I also had a seven minute version of Roger Corman’s The Undead with Allison Hayes, Billy Barty and Dick Miller. The box had a scary cover (like the poster on IMDB). I also had a several minute version of The French Connection that started out with the guy getting shot in the face then it went to the car chase, then the weird ending shot and that was about it. I also had a several minute version of Psycho which had the shower scene – then Perkins running down from the motel (with the subtitle - 'God... Mother... Blood... Blood') then Balsam creeping up the stairs and getting offed, then Miles creeping around and finding 'mom' then Loomis grabbing Perkins, then Perkins sitting there staring at the camera. Just the meat and potatoes. I still have a little film box for Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman – and an Andy Panda cartoon. But I used to rent super 8s from the library – Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, Nosferatu, old Douglas Fairbanks, Laurel and Hardy and Charlie Chaplin. That stuff was awesome. All that Blackhawk stuff. That was an awesome company. Like Ward, I’d show them forwards, backwards and sideways."

Oatmeal Tips

Welcome once again to "Oatmeal Tips." Today's oatmeal tip comes from famous star Jack Black, quoted in a Chinese newspaper and requoted on this "web" site ("click" here) to which we were referred by "Blog" Buddy Mark Osborne, who directed Mr. Black in KUNG FU PANDA. If we may paraphrase Mr. Black's oatmeal tip, it would be to eat a second breakfast if you are still hungry after eating your primary breakfast consisting of oatmeal. Just because this is our second celebrity oatmeal tip in a row doesn't give you an excuse to be shy. Remember: the "Oatmeal Tips" feature was created by and for "the people"! So don't delay. Send your oatmeal tip to "Oatmeal Tips" c/o "Writer" Oxford, MS 38655.

"Blog" Buddies Become Movie Royalty

First Lynn Shelton's storming of Sundance... now "Blog" Buddy Mark Osborne has been nominated for an Oscar... again! A long time ago, I gave you a "link" where you could watch his Oscar-nominated short MORE. Now Mark's KUNG FU PANDA is nominated for best animated picture! And given our many conversations on the subject, it is only fitting that Mark will be at the same ceremony at which Jerry Lewis is being presented with a special trophy. Find him, Mark! Go to him! Grab him! Hug him to your bosom! Never let him go! (Pictured: Mark's the tall one.)

I Just Thought of Something Funny

I just thought of something funny. There's a first time for everything! Anyway, in my "post" about "pandiculation" I included - by mere chance - a photo of a red panda demonstrating said action. Get it? PANDA? PANDICULATION? No? Never mind.

Jerry, the Source of All

KUNG FU PANDA is poised to do big "box office" this weekend, as we hear from one of the directors of that film, Mark Osborne himself (pictured). "We couldn't have done it without your mention," he jokes. Spurred by the recent "post" in which I mentioned both KUNG FU PANDA and Jerry Lewis, Mark goes on: "Did I ever tell you that the example I used to explain the tone of Kung Fu Panda to the crew was 'What if Akira Kurosawa shot a Jerry Lewis movie?' No doubt inspired by your love of Jerry!" This is very nice of Mark to say, given our struggles over Mr. Lewis in the past, each coming to peace with Jerry in his own way. It also bolsters my argument, often put forth on the "blog," that Jerry is the source of everything we hold dear as human people, despite his somewhat bleak worldview. And though Kurosawa is Japanese and the Kung Fu Panda is Chinese, I did think of Kurosawa - thereby showcasing my perceptiveness! - when I read in Darghis's KUNG FU PANDA review about "a volley of arrows that falls down like red rain and a delicate swirl of pink petals" ... particularly of Kurosawa's films DREAMS and RAN. (Believe it or not, I just deleted a long paragraph in which I compared Toshiro Mifune's character in SEVEN SAMURAI to both Bob Hope [his braggart's bluster] and Jerry Lewis [physical comedy veering into rage]. And I made a good case, too!)

Jerry Enshrinement/Panda Alert

Today the New York Times makes another appreciative gesture toward "blog" hero Jerry Lewis: A.O. Scott refers to "the great Jerry Lewis himself" and pegs him as a forefather - as the "blog" once did - of Adam Sandler. In other movie news from the New York Times, KUNG FU PANDA, directed by "Blog" Buddy Mark Osborne and someone named John Stevenson (no "blog" affiliation but I'm sure he is a nice person and did his share of the work!), receives the coveted "NYT Critics' Pick" designation. Manohla Dargis (who once gave Jerry props in a NY Times review of BABY MAMA) writes of KUNG FU PANDA's "beauty and pictorial wit here from opening to end credits... feeling for the art and for the freedom of animation..." I know how hard Mark worked on it! For years and years! The least you can do is go out and see it this weekend!

This Is the Back of Harrison Ford

It looks like the "blog" just narrowly missed out on receiving updates from the Cannes Film Festival, thanks to our good friend Mark Osborne, whose new film KUNG FU PANDA was showing over there, in the land of "France." Here is a picture of Harrison Ford's blue t-shirt. Yes, that is Harrison Ford's back. Mark annotates: "Jack! I just realized that I should have been sending you Cannes updates for your blog! What a missed opportunity. Maybe I can send you random 'big time Hollywood updates' once in a while like this one: Dateline Cannes- Rumor has it that Indiana Jones sure likes finger sandwiches! Here he is filling up a tiny plate with them in the Cannes press suite. [My buddy] John Santry commented, 'it looks like the guy in the foreground was just told he was eating chilled monkey brains.'"

"Blog"trospective 3: Movies

Here is a list of every movie that has ever been "blogged" about by name on the "blog." Though a promo for the movie SCAVENGER HUNT, for example, has been "linked" to, it has not been mentioned by name and will not be included in the "blog"trospective. Okay, now it will, because I just mentioned it. But you get the picture. Though some "fave" movies may have been mentioned on the "blog" many times, there will be just one "link" to each movie. If you're not too tired you may trace any movie back to its original source on the "blog," much like a modern day John Speke. 4 FOR TEXAS---5 DOLLS FOR AN AUGUST MOON---THE 7th VICTIM---THE 7th VOYAGE OF SINBAD---8 1/2---9---9 TO 5---42nd STREET---50 SHADES OF GREY---92 IN THE SHADE---101 DALMATIANS---2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY---ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET THE KEYSTONE KOPS---THE ABSENT-MINDED PROFESSOR---ACE IN THE HOLE---ADA---ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES---ADVANCE TO THE REAR---THE ADVENTURES OF ICHABOD AND MR. TOAD---THE AFRICAN QUEEN---AFTER HOURS---AGORA---AGUIRRE, THE WRATH OF GOD---ALASKA---ALIAS JESSE JAMES---ALIENS---ALL FALL DOWN---ALL THAT HEAVEN ALLOWS---AMARCORD---THE AMBUSHERS---AMELIE---AMERICAN GRAFFITI---AMERICAN KICKBOXER 1---AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON---ANGEL FACE---ANGEL HEART---ANGELS OVER BROADWAY---ANGELS WITH DIRTY FACES---ANIMAL CRACKERS---ANIMAL HOUSE---ANNIE HALL---ANOTHER STAKEOUT---ANTICIPATION (sic)---THE APARTMENT---APOCALYPSE NOW---APOCALYPTO---APPOINTMENT WITH DEATH---APRIL FOOL'S DAY---ARIZONA DREAM---ARTISTS AND MODELS---ATM---THE ATOMIC SUBMARINE---ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS---ATTACK THE BLOCK---AUDREY ROSE---AUTHOR! AUTHOR!---AUTO FOCUS---AVANTI!---BABY DOLL---BABY MAMA---BACHELOR FLAT---BACHELOR IN PARADISE---THE BAD AND THE BEAUTIFUL---BAD BLONDE---BAD NEWS BEARS---BADLANDS---BALADA TRISTE DE TROMPETA---THE BALLAD OF CABLE HOGUE---BARRY LYNDON---BARTON FINK---BASIC INSTINCT---BATMAN RETURNS---BATMAN V SUPERMAN---BEACH BLANKET BINGO---BEACH PARTY---BEACHES---BEAT GIRL---BEDLAM---BEDTIME FOR BONZO---THE BELIEVERS---THE BELLBOY---BENJAMIN SMOKE---THE BERMUDA DEPTHS---BEST FRIENDS---BEST IN SHOW---THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES---BETWEEN TWO WORLDS---THE BIG BANG---THE BIG BUS---THE BIG COMBO------THE BIG CUBE---THE BIG LEBOWSKI---THE BIG MOUTH---BIG NIGHT---THE BIG SLEEP---THE BIGAMIST---BILL CUNNINGHAM NEW YORK---BILLY JACK---BILLY JACK GOES TO WASHINGTON---BILLY LIAR---BILLY MADISON---BILLY WHISKERS---BIRDMAN---THE BIRDS---BIRDS DO IT---THE BISCUIT EATER---BLACK ANGEL---BLACK CHRISTMAS---BLACK SABBATH---BLACKBOARD JUNGLE---BLAST OF SILENCE---BLAZING SADDLES---BLESSED EVENT---BLOCKHEADS---BLOOD AND ROSES---BLOOD SIMPLE---BLOW-OUT---BLUE COLLAR---BLUEBEARD (2009)---THE BLUES BROTHERS---BLUES BROTHERS 2000---THE BOATNIKS---BODY DOUBLE---BOEING, BOEING---BONJOUR TRISTESSE---BONNIE & CLYDE---BOTTLE ROCKET---BOY, DID I GET A WRONG NUMBER---BOYS' NIGHT OUT---BRANNIGAN---BRAZIL---BREATHLESS---BREEZY---BRICK---THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI---BRIDGE TO THE SUN---BRIGHT LEAF---BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA---BROADCAST NEWS---BROADWAY DANNY ROSE---BROADWAY MELODY OF 1938---THE BROOD---BUENA SERA, MRS. CAMPBELL---BUFFALO '66---BUFFALO BILL & THE INDIANS---BUGSY MALONE---BUNDLE OF JOY---BURN, WITCH, BURN---BUTLEY---BYE BYE BIRDIE---THE CABIN IN THE WOODS---THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI---CACTUS FLOWER---CADDYSHACK---CAFE METROPOLE---CALIFORNIA SPLIT---CALIFORNIA SUITE---CALL ME BWANA---CANCEL MY RESERVATION---CANDYMAN: FAREWELL TO THE FLESH---CANNIBAL GIRLS---CANNONBALL RUN---CAPRICORN ONE---CAR WASH---CAREER---CARNIVAL OF SOULS---CARNY---CASABLANCA---CASANOVA---CASANOVA'S BIG NIGHT---CASINO---CASINO ROYALE (1967)---CASINO ROYALE (2006)---THE CAT AND THE CANARY---CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF---CAT PEOPLE---CATCH-22---THE CHAMP---CHANGE OF HABIT---UN CHIEN ANDALOU---CHILDREN OF PARADISE---CHIMES AT MIDNIGHT (see FALSTAFF)---CHINESE OPIUM DEN---LA CHINOISE---CHRISTMAS IN JULY---A CHRISTMAS STORY---THE CINCINNATI KID---CINDERFELLA---THE CIRCUS---CITIZEN KANE---CITIZEN TANIA---CITY FOR CONQUEST---CITY STREETS (1931)---CLAIRE'S KNEE---CLIFFHANGER---THE CLOCK---A CLOCKWORK ORANGE---CLOSE ENOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND---THE CLOWN---CLUNY BROWN---COCAINE: ONE MAN'S SEDUCTION---THE COCK FIGHT---COCK FIGHT, NO. 2---COCKTAIL HOUR---COLD TURKEY---COLLISION COURSE---COME EARLY MORNING---THE COMIC---COMPANY MAN (2000)---THE COMPANY OF WOLVES---CONDORMAN---CONEHEADS---CONFIDENTIAL AGENT---CONGO---THE CONJURING---CONTAGION---CONTEMPT---CONTINENTAL DIVIDE---THE CONVERSATION---COOKIE---THE COOL ONES---COP AND A HALF---CORIOLANUS---THE COTTON CLUB---THE COURTSHIP OF EDDIE'S FATHER---COWBOYS AND ALIENS---CRACKING UP---CRADLE WILL ROCK---CRANK---CRASH (1996)---CRASH (2004)---THE CRAWLING HAND---CRAZY LOVE---CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE.---CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON---CRIME WAVE---CRIMSON PEAK---CRITIC'S CHOICE---THE CROSS AND THE SWITCHBLADE---THE CRUCIBLE---CRY OF THE WEREWOLF---CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE---CURSE OF THE DEMON---CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF---CYMBELINE---DAISY KENYON---A DANDY IN ASPIC---DANGER: DIABOLIK---THE DANISH POET---DARBY'S RANGERS---DAREDEVIL---THE DARK KNIGHT---DARKER THAN AMBER---DAY FOR NIGHT---THE DAY OF THE DOLPHIN---THE DAY SANTA CLAUS CRIED---THE DEAD---DEAD END---DEAD MAN---DEAD RECKONING---DEAD RINGERS---DEEP COVER---THE DEER HUNTER---THE DELICATE DELINQUENT---DELIVERANCE---DEMENTIA 13---THE DEPARTED---DESIGN FOR LIVING---DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN---DETOUR---DEVIL DOLL---THE DEVIL-DOLL---THE DEVIL'S BRIDE---THE DEVIL'S CABARET---DIRTY DANCING---DIRTY GRANDPA---DIRTY HARRY---DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS---DISCLOSURE---THE DISORDERLY ORDERLY---DIVORCE AMERICAN STYLE---DIVORCE, ITALIAN STYLE---DJANGO---DR. EHRLICH'S MAGIC BULLET---DOCTOR FAUSTUS---DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS---DR. STRANGELOVE---DOCTOR, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING---DR. ZHIVAGO---DOCUMENTEUR---DOGVILLE---LA DOLCE VITA---DONNIE BRASCO---DON'T LOOK NOW---DON'T MAKE WAVES---DON'T RAISE THE BRIDGE, LOWER THE RIVER---DON'T WORRY WE'LL THINK OF A TITLE---DOPPELGANGER---DOUBLE INDEMNITY---DOUBLE TROUBLE---DRACULA (1931)---DRACULA (1979)---DRACULA A.D. 1972---DRACULA (Spanish language version)---DRACULA'S DAUGHTER---DREAMS---DREAMS IN THE WITCH HOUSE---THE DRESSER (TV version)---DUEL IN THE SUN---DUMB & DUMBER---DUNE---E.T.---EAST OF EDEN---ED---ED WOOD---EDDIE MACON'S RUN---EIGHT ON THE LAM---EL DORADO---ELECTRA GLIDE IN BLUE---THE ELECTRIC HORSEMAN---THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK---END OF THE CENTURY---THE ENEMY WITHIN (see THE STRANGER WITHIN)---THE ENGLISH PATIENT---THE ENTERTAINER---EQUINOX---ERASER---THE ERRAND BOY---ESCAPE FROM ALCATRAZ---ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK---ESCAPE PLAN---EUROPEAN VACATION---EVAN ALMIGHTY---EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE---EVIL DEAD II---EXECUTIVE SUITE---THE EXORCIST---THE EXTRAORDINARY SEAMAN---EXTREME LIMITS---THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS---A FACE IN THE CROWD---FACE OF A FUGITIVE---THE FACTS OF LIFE---FAILURE TO LAUNCH---FALSTAFF---FALLEN ANGEL---THE FAMILY JEWELS---FAMILY PLOT---FANCY CLUB SWINGER---FANCY PANTS---FANNY AND ALEXANDER---FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD---FARM!---FAT CITY---FATA MORGANA---FATAL ATTRACTION---THE FATAL GLASS OF BEER---FEDS---FILM---FIREWORKS WEDNESDAY---A FISH CALLED WANDA---FITZWILLY---FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS---UN FLIC---THE FLINTSTONES---FLUFFY---FOOL FOR LOVE---FOOTLIGHT PARADE---FOR LOVE OR MONEY---FOR THE BOYS---FOR THOSE WHO THINK YOUNG---FORBIDDEN PLANET---THE FORBIDDEN ROOM---THE FORBIDDEN ZONE---FOUL PLAY---FOUR ROOMS---FRANKENSTEIN---FRANKENSTEIN (2025)---FRANKENSTEIN CREATED WOMAN---FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLFMAN---FRED OTT HOLDS A BIRD---THE FRENCH CONNECTION---FRENCH CONNECTION II---FRIGHT NIGHT (1985)---FRIGHT NIGHT PART 2---FROM BEYOND---FROM THE HIP---FROZEN (2010)---FULL METAL JACKET---FUN IN ACAPULCO---FUN WITH DICK AND JANE (1977)---THE FUNHOUSE---FUNNY BONES---FUNNY FARM---FUNNY PEOPLE---G.I. BLUES---GABLE AND LOMBARD---GANGS OF NEW YORK---GARGOYLES---THE GENERAL---GENTLEMAN JIM---THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN---GHOST RIDER---GHOST STORY---THE GHOST STORY OF YOTSUYA---GHOSTBUSTERS---GIANT---GIDGET---GIDGET GOES HAWAIIAN---GIGOT---THE GIRL CAN'T HELP IT---THE GIRL FROM TRIESTE---GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS---GIRLFRIENDS---A GLOBAL AFFAIR---THE GODFATHER---THE GODFATHER PART II---THE GODFATHER PART III---GOING HIGHBROW---GOLD DIGGERS OF 1933---GOLDFINGER---THE GOOD HUMOR MAN---GOOD OLD CORN---THE GOOD SHEPHERD---THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY---GOOD WILL HUNTING---GOODFELLAS---GORKY PARK---THE GRADUATE---THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL---THE GRAPES OF WRATH---THE GREAT GATSBY---THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY---GREED---GREMLINS 2---GRIZZLY---GROUNDHOG DAY---A GUIDE FOR THE MARRIED MAN---GUMBY DHARMA---THE GUNFIGHTER---HAIL, CAESAR!---HAIRSPRAY---HAMLET (1969)---HAMLET (2009)---THE HANGOVER---HANNAH TAKES THE STAIRS---HAPPY-GO-LUCKY---HARD-BOILED---A HARD DAY'S NIGHT---HARDCORE---HARDLY WORKING---HARPER VALLEY PTA---HARRY AND WALTER GO TO NEW YORK---HARRY RESER AND HIS ESKIMOS---HARVEY---THE HAUNTED HOUSE OF HORROR---THE HAUNTED STRANGLER---THE HAUNTING---HE WHO GETS SLAPPED---HEAD---HEARTBURN---HEATHERS---HEAVEN'S GATE---HELLO DOWN THERE---HELLZAPOPPIN'---HERCULES IN NEW YORK---HERCULES IN THE HAUNTED WORLD----HERE COMES THE BOOM---THE HIDEOUS SUN DEMON---THE HIGH AND THE MIGHTY---HIGH SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL---HIGH SOCIETY---HIGHBALL---HIS GIRL FRIDAY---HIS KIND OF WOMAN---THE HOBBIT---A HOLE IN THE HEAD---HOLLYWOOD OR BUST---HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS---HOME FROM THE HILL---THE HONEYMOON MACHINE---HOOK, LINE & SINKER (1969)---HOOK, LINE AND SINKER (1930)---HOOPER---HOPE AND GLORY---THE HORIZONTAL LIEUTENANT---HORROR OF DRACULA---HORRORWEEN---HORSE EATING HAY---HOSTEL PART II---HOT FUZZ---THE HOT ROCK---THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES---HOUSE (1977)---HOUSE OF THE SEVEN CORPSES---HOUSE OF USHER---HOW SWEET IT IS!---HOW TO COMMIT MARRIAGE---HOW TO SAVE A MARRIAGE AND RUIN YOUR LIFE---HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING---HUD---THE HUDSUCKER PROXY---HUMPDAY---HUSTLE---THE HUSTLER---I AM CUBA---I AM THE PRETTY THING THAT LIVES IN THE HOUSE---I COME IN PEACE---I COULD GO ON SINGING---I, FRANKENSTEIN---I LOVE YOU, ALICE B. TOKLAS!---I.Q.---I SAW WHAT YOU DID---I SHOT JESSE JAMES---I WAKE UP SCREAMING---I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE A MAN---THE ICE HARVEST---THE ICE STORM---ICEMAN---THE ICEMAN COMETH---IF A MAN ANSWERS---I'LL TAKE SWEDEN---THE ILLUSIONIST---INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS---THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN---INCUBUS---INGLUOURIOUS BASTERDS---INHERIT THE WIND---INLAND EMPIRE---INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 3---INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1978)---INVASION USA---THE IRON PETTICOAT---ISLAND IN THE SKY---THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU (1977)---THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU (1996)---ISLAND OF LOST SOULS---IT'S A GIFT---IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD---IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE---JACK THE GIANT KILLER---JACKNIFE---JANE EYRE---JANE EYRE (later version)---THE JAZZ SINGER---JEFFERSON IN PARIS---JEREMIAH JOHNSON---THE JERK---JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO---JOHNNY COOL---JOHNNY EAGER---THE JOKER IS WILD---JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS---JULES ET JIM---JULIEN DONKEY-BOY---JULIUS CAESAR---JUMPING JACKS---JUNEBUG---JUNGLE JIM IN THE FORBIDDEN LAND---JURASSIC PARK---JUROR #2---JURY DUTY---JUST LIKE HEAVEN---KALIDOR (see RED SONJA)---KARATE KID---KARATE KID PART III---KEEPING THE FAITH---KEYSTONE HOTEL---THE KID---KILL, BABY... KILL!---KILLDOZER---THE KILLERS---THE KING OF COMEDY---KING RALPH---THE KING'S SPEECH---KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS---THE KISS---KISS ME DEADLY---KISS ME, STUPID---KISSIN' COUSINS---KITTEN WITH A WHIP---KUNG FU PANDA---THE LADIES MAN---LADY FROM SHANGHAI---THE LADY FROM SOCKHOLM---LADY IN THE LAKE---LADYHAWKE---LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM---LAND OF THE LOST---THE LANGOLIERS---LARRY CROWNE---THE LAST DRAGON---THE LAST MARRIED COUPLE IN AMERICA---THE LAST SUNSET---THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST---LAURA---LEMORA: A CHILD'S TALE OF THE SUPERNATURAL---LENNY---THE LEOPARD---LEPRECHAUN---LET IT RIDE (1989)---THE LIFE AND TIMES OF JUDGE ROY BEAN---LIFE OF BRIAN---LIFE OF PI---LI'L ABNER (1959)---LIMELIGHT---THE LIMEY---A LION IS IN THE STREETS---LISZTOMANIA---THE LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVES DOWN THE LANE---THE LITTLE PRINCE---LITTLE WOMEN (1994)---LIVE A LITTLE, LOVE A LITTLE---LIVING IT UP---LOGAN'S RUN---LONE STAR---THE LONG GOODBYE---LONG WEEKEND (1978)---LOOK IN ANY WINDOW---LOOK WHO'S LAUGHING---LORD LOVE A DUCK---THE LORDS OF FLATBUSH---LOST IN AMERICA---LOVE & DEATH---LOVE AT FIRST BITE---THE LOVE-INS---LOVE LETTERS---LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME---THE LOVE PARADE---LOVER COME BACK---LOVIN' THE LADIES---M---MACABRE---MACBETH---MADADAYO---MADE IN PARIS---MAIDSTONE---LA MAIN DU DIABLE---THE MAJOR AND THE MINOR---MALONE---THE MALTESE BIPPY---THE MALTESE FALCON---MAN BAIT---THE MAN IN THE GRAY FLANNEL SUIT---MAN IN THE MOON---THE MAN WHO LAUGHS---THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE---THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN ARM---THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN---THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE---MANHANDLED---MANHUNTER---THE MANITOU---MARDI GRAS---MARRIAGE ON THE ROCKS---MARRIED TO IT---MARRY ME AT CHRISTMAS---MARTHA BEHIND BARS---MARY POPPINS---MARY SHELLEY'S FRANKENSTEIN---MASCULIN-FEMININ---THE MASK OF DIMITRIOS---THE MATRIX---MCCABE & MRS. MILLER---MCCLINTOCK!---MCQ---MEAN STREETS---MEATBALLS---MEATBALLS 4---MEET ME IN LAS VEGAS---MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID---THE MENU---MERRY CHRISTMAS, MR. LAWRENCE---THE MERRY WIDOW (1925)---THE MERRY WIDOW (1934)---MIDNIGHT COWBOY---A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM (1935)---A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM (1968)---MILDRED PIERCE---MILLER'S CROSSING---THE MILLION DOLLAR DUCK---MILLION DOLLAR LEGS---MIMIC---MIRACLE ON 34th STREET---MIRAGE---MISSION TO MARS---THE MISSOURI BREAKS---MR. JEALOUSY---MR. MAGOO---MR. MAGOO IN PARIS---MR. MOM---MR. RICCO---MR. SATURDAY NIGHT---MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON---MR. SUPERINVISIBLE---MRS. SOFFEL---MIXED NUTS---MOBY DICK---MON ONCLE---MONEY FROM HOME---THE MONEY JUNGLE---THE MONEY PIT---MONKEY SHINES---THE MONKEY'S UNCLE---MONSIEUR BEAUCAIRE---MOONRAKER---MOONRISE KINGDOM---THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME---MULHOLLAND DR.---THE MUMMY'S SHROUD---MUSCLE BEACH PARTY---MY BODYGUARD---MY DINNER WITH ANDRE---MY FAVORITE BRUNETTE---MY NAME IS IVAN---MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO---THE NAKED CITY---THE NAKED FACE---THE NAKED SPUR---NAPOLEON DYNAMITE---NASHVILLE---NATURAL BORN KILLERS---THE NET---NEVER A DULL MOMENT---THE NEW KIDS---NEW YORK, NEW YORK---NIGHT AND THE CITY---NIGHT MONSTER---NIGHT OF DARK SHADOWS---NIGHT OF THE HUNTER---NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD---NIGHT OF THE LOUP GAROU---THE NIGHT STALKER---THE NIGHT STRANGLER---THE NIGHT WE NEVER MET---NIGHTMARE ALLEY---NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART FIVE---NINOTCHKA---NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN---NOBODY LIVES FOREVER---NONE BUT THE LONELY HEART---NORTH BY NORTHWEST---NORTHANGER ABBEY---NOSFERATU---NOT OF THIS EARTH (1958)---NOT OF THIS EARTH (1988)---NOTHING SACRED---LA NOTTE---THE NUTTY PROFESSOR---O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU---OBSESSION---THE ODD COUPLE---OF MICE AND MEN---OFF LIMITS (1953)---OKLAHOMA---THE OMEGA MAN---ON DANGEROUS GROUND---ON THE ROAD---ON THE TOWN---ONCE BITTEN---ONCE MORE WITH FEELING---ONCE UPON A COFFEE HOUSE---ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST---ONE FROM THE HEART---ONE HOUR WITH YOU---ONE MORE TIME---ONLY ANGELS HAVE WINGS---THE OTHER---OUT OF THE PAST---THE OUTSIDERS---THE OWL AND THE PUSSYCAT---THE PALM BEACH STORY---PAPERMAN---THE PARALLAX VIEW---PARDNERS---THE PARENT TRAP---PARIS HOLIDAY---PARIS, TEXAS---PARTY GIRL (1958)---PARTY GIRL (1995)---THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST---PAT GARRETT AND BILLY THE KID---PATERNITY---THE PATSY---PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE---PENELOPE---PERIOD OF ADJUSTMENT---PERSONA---PETULIA---PHANTASM---PHFFFT---PHYSICAL EVIDENCE---PICKUP ON SOUTH STREET---PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK---PIERROT LE FOU---PILLOW TALK---THE PILOT---PINATA: SURVIVAL ISLAND---PINK FLAMINGOS---THE PINK PANTHER---PINOCCHIO---THE PIPE---THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM---PITFALL---PLANET OF THE APES---PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES---PLAY IT AGAIN, SAM---THE PLAYER---LE PLUS VIEUX METIER DU MONDE---POINT BLANK---POINT BREAK---POLICE ACADEMY---POLYESTER---POP GEAR---POPEYE---POPI---PORTRAIT OF JENNIE---PRESCRIPTION: MURDER---PRETTY IN PINK---PRETTY WOMAN---THE PRINCESS AND THE PIRATE---THE PRODUCERS---THE PRINCESS BRIDE---PROFESSOR WELTON'S BOXING CATS---PROPHECY (1979)---PSYCHO---PSYCHO (remake)---THE PUFFY CHAIR---PULL MY DAISY---PULP FICTION---PUMP UP THE VOLUME---PUNCHLINE---QUEEN OF EARTH---THE QUILLER MEMORANDUM---QUINTET---RADICAL JACK---RAIN MAN---THE RAINMAKER---RAISING ARIZONA---RAISING CAIN---RAISING HELEN---RALLY 'ROUND THE FLAG, BOYS!---RANCHO DELUXE---RASHOMON---RAN---RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE---RAT KILLING---RAVAGERS---RAW DEAL---RE-ANIMATOR---REAR WINDOW---RED DAWN---RED DAWN (2012)---RED EYE---RED LIGHT---RED LIGHTS---RED PLANET---RED RIVER---RED SONJA---REGARDING HENRY---THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT---REMEMBER THE NIGHT---RESCUE DAWN---THE RETURN OF DRACULA---REVENGE OF THE CREATURE---RHINESTONE---RICHARD II (1997)---RICHARD III---RICHIE RICH---RICOCHET---RIDERS OF THE PURPLE SAGE---THE RIGHT STUFF---RING OF FEAR---RIO BRAVO---RIO GRANDE---RISKY BUSINESS---ROAD HOUSE---THE ROAD TO HONG KONG---THE ROAD TO SINGAPORE---THE ROAD TO UTOPIA---ROBIN HOOD (1973)---ROCK-A-BYE BABY---ROCKY II---ROGUE COP---ROLLERCOASTER---ROMEO AND JULIET---THE ROOKIE---THE ROOM---ROUNDERS---RUMOR HAS IT---RUNAWAY BRIDE---THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING! THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING!---SABOTEUR---SAILOR BEWARE---SALT AND PEPPER---SAMSON AND DELILAH---SANDY WEXLER---SANTA CLAUS (1959)---SANTA WITH MUSCLES---THE SATAN BUG---SATISFACTION---SATURDAY THE 14th---SATURN 3---SATYRICON---SAVING PRIVATE RYAN---SAWDUST AND TINSEL---SAY ANYTHING---SCARED STIFF---THE SCARLET LETTER---SCAVENGER HUNT---SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE---SCHOOL TIES---SCOOBY-DOO---SCREAM OF FEAR---SCREAMERS---THE SEA HAWK---THE SEARCHERS---SECOND FIDDLE TO A STEEL GUITAR---SECONDS---SEMI-TOUGH---SEND ME NO FLOWERS---SENIOR PROM---THE SENTINEL---SERENDIPITY---A SERIOUS MAN---THE SET-UP---THE SEVEN LITTLE FOYS---SEVEN SAMURAI---SEVEN SINNERS---SEX AND THE SINGLE GIRL---SHAKE HANDS WITH DANGER---SHAMUS---SHANE---THE SHANGHAI GESTURE---THE SHEPHERD OF THE HILLS---SHE'S ALL THAT---THE SHINING---THE SHINING HOUR---SHIP OF MONSTERS---SHORT CUTS---SICARIO---THE SILENCE---THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS---SILVER LODE---SIMON OF THE DESERT---SINGIN' IN THE RAIN---SISTER ACT---SISTERS---SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS 2---SKIDOO---SKYJACKED---SLAP SHOT---SLAPSTICK (OF ANOTHER KIND)---SLEEPING BEAUTY---SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY---SLIGHTLY SCARLET---THE SMALL MAGNETIC HAND---SMOKES & EARS---SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT---SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT II---THE SNEEZE---SNOW WHITE AND THE THREE STOOGES---SNOWBOARD ACADEMY---SNOWPIERCER---SO LONG AT THE FAIR---THE SOCIAL NETWORK---SOIGNE TA DROITE---SOME KIND OF A NUT---SOMEONE I TOUCHED---SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES---SOMETHING WILD---SON OF DRACULA---THE SOUND AND THE FURY---THE SOUND OF MUSIC---SPELLBOUND---THE SPIDER---SPLENDOR IN THE GRASS---THE SPY WHO LOVED ME---STALAG 17---A STAR IS BORN (1937)---A STAR IS BORN (1954)---STAR TREK (2009)---STAR WARS---STARDUST MEMORIES---STARFLIGHT: THE PLANE THAT COULDN'T LAND---STARGATE---STEAMBOAT ROUND THE BEND---STEEL MAGNOLIAS---STEP BROTHERS---THE STEPFATHER---STEVEN UNIVERSE: THE MOVIE---STOLEN KISSES---STONER---THE STOOGE---THE STORY OF WILL ROGERS---LA STRADA---THE STRANGER---THE STRANGER WITHIN---THE STRANGER WORE A GUN---STRANGERS ON A TRAIN---STRIKING DISTANCE----THE STUFF---THE SUNDOWNERS---SUNSET BOULEVARD---THE SUNSHINE BOYS---SUPERDAD---SUPERMAN III---SUSAN SLADE---SUSAN SLEPT HERE---SUSPECT---SWAMP THING---SWEET BIRD OF YOUTH---THE SWEET RIDE---THE SWINGER---SWITCH---TAKE HER, SHE'S MINE---THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE---TARAS BULBA---THE TARNISHED ANGELS---TAXI DRIVER---TEACHER'S PET---TEEN WITCH---TEEN WOLF---TEEN WOLF TOO---THE TEN COMMANDMENTS---TEN THOUSAND BEDROOMS---TEQUILA SUNRISE---THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE---TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE IV---THAT HAGEN GIRL---THAT THING YOU DO!---THAT'S MY BOY---THAT'S MY BOY (2012)---THEODORA: IMPERATRICE DE BYZANCE---THEREMIN: AN ELECTRONIC ODYSSEY---THERE'S A GIRL IN MY SOUP---THEY ALL LAUGHED---THEY CAME TO ROB LAS VEGAS---THEY GOT ME COVERED---THE THIEF OF BAGDAD---THIEVES' HIGHWAY---THE THIRD MAN---THIS IS MY LIFE---THIS IS SPINAL TAP---THIS IS THE END---THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR---THREE FOR BEDROOM C---THREE FUGITIVES---THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1973)---THREE ON A COUCH---THREE RING CIRCUS---THREE VIOLENT PEOPLE---THE THRILL OF IT ALL---THRONE OF BLOOD---THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT---THUNDERING HOOFS---TICKLE ME---TIME AFTER TIME---TIME BANDITS---A TIME TO KILL---THE TITANIC---TO CATCH A THIEF---TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT---TO SIR WITH LOVE---TO THE DEVIL A DAUGHTER---TOAST OF NEW ORLEANS---TOKYO DRIFTER---TOMMY---TONY ROME---TOO LATE BLUES---TOO LATE FOR TEARS---TOP BANANA---TOPSY-TURVY---TORMENTED---TORPEDO RUN---TORRID ZONE---TOUCH OF EVIL---TOUGHER THAN LEATHER---TOY STORY 4---">THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH---TRAPEZE---TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE---TREES LOUNGE---TRESPASS----THE TRIAL---THE TRIAL OF BILLY JACK---TRILOGY OF TERROR---TRON---THE TROUBLE WITH ANGELS---THE TROUBLE WITH GIRLS---TRUE CONFESSION---TRUE CRIME---TRUE GRIT (1969)---TRUE GRIT (2010)---TRUE ROMANCE---TRUE STORIES---TURNER & HOOCH---TWILIGHT---TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE---TWISTER---TWISTER'S REVENGE---TWIXT---TWO-BITS & PEPPER---THE TWO FACES OF DR. JEKYLL---TWO-LANE BLACKTOP---U.F.O---UNCLE KENT---THE UNDEAD (1957)---UNDER THE VOLCANO---UNDER THE YUM YUM TREE---UNDERGROUND---UNION DEPOT---UNIVERSAL SOLDIER (1971)---UNSUCCESSFUL SOMERSAULT---UP IN THE AIR---UPPERSEVEN---THE VAMPIRE---THE VAMPIRE LOVERS---THE VERDICT---VERNON, FLORIDA---VERTIGO---A VERY SPECIAL FAVOR---THE VILLAIN---THE VIRGIN SPRING---VIRIDIANA---VISIT TO A SMALL PLANET---VIVA ZAPATA!---VOLVER---WAGNER---WAITING FOR GUFFMAN---WAKE ME WHEN IT'S OVER---WAKE OF THE RED WITCH---WALK, DON'T RUN---WALK HARD---WALL-E---WALL STREET---WAR AND PEACE---THE WASP WOMAN---THE WATCHER IN THE WOODS---WAY OUT WEST---WAY... WAY OUT---W.C. FIELDS AND ME---WE GO WAY BACK---A WEDDING---WEE WILLIE WINKIE---WEEKEND---WEIRD SCIENCE---WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT---WEST SIDE STORY---WHAT A WAY TO GO!---WHAT'S NEW, PUSSYCAT---WHAT'S UP DOC---THE WHEELER DEALERS---WHEN MICHAEL CALLS---WHERE THE SPIES ARE---WHERE THE TRUTH LIES---WHICH WAY TO THE FRONT?---WHIFFS---WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING---THE WHITE DIAMOND (2004)---WHITE DIAMOND (2007)---WHITE HEAT---WHO FEARS THE DEVIL?---WHO WAS THAT LADY?---WHO'S BEEN SLEEPING IN MY BED?---WHO'S GOT THE ACTION?---WHO'S MINDING THE MINT?---WHO'S MINDING THE STORE?---THE WICKER MAN---WIFE WANTED---THE WILD AFFAIR---THE WILD BUNCH---THE WILD, WILD PLANET---WILL PENNY---WILLIE AND PHIL---WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY---WIND ACROSS THE EVERGLADES---WINTER LIGHT---WINTER'S TALE---THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK---WITH SIX YOU GET EGGROLL---WITNESS---THE WIZARD OF OZ---WOLF---THE WOLF OF WALL STREET---WOLFEN---THE WOLFMAN---THE WOMAN IN RED---A WOMAN IS A WOMAN---A WOMAN OF PARIS---WOMAN ON THE RUN---WOMAN TIMES SEVEN---A WOMAN UNDER THE INFLUENCE---THE WORLD OF HENRY ORIENT---THE WRECKING CREW---WRITTEN ON THE WIND---WUTHERING HEIGHTS---X: THE MAN WITH THE X-RAY EYES---X, Y & ZEE---XANADU---X-MEN: FIRST CLASS---YOUNG BESS---YOUNG MR. LINCOLN---YOUR CHEATIN' HEART---YOU'VE GOT MAIL---ZARDOZ