Mom Likes Cemeteries

Just got off the phone with Mom. She went to Shubuta, Mississippi, the other day, she said. ("Shubuta" is also the title of a short story by Tom Franklin.) Mom said the highway passed Shubuta by, that they used to have a traffic light but now they don't even have a traffic light. "Yes, sounds exciting," I said. Mom liked the cemetery in Shubuta. Mom has always liked cemeteries. When we were on road trips when I was a kid, you could count on a lengthy stop at any interesting-looking cemetery, and all of them looked interesting to Mom. Mom said the cemetery in Shubuta is on a bluff overlooking a river, and though she was afraid there could be water moccasins (a deadly breed of snake) hiding between the gravestones, she could easily picture a horse-cart carrying a coffin onto the grounds, and the stately procession following it. I told Mom she should get a column somewhere reviewing cemeteries the way other people review restaurants or movies. I really mean it! Somebody pay my mom to go around the country reviewing cemeteries. But Mom objected. "Well, I don't ever stay long enough to get to know anybody," she said, which I thought was a funny thing to say about cemeteries.

Abandoned Vampire Bicycles

Spurred on by the childhood recollections of Megan Abbott, I have watched two movie versions of Sheridan Le Fanu's story "Carmilla," both available via "streaming video" on the "internet." Ironically (?) the tawdry Hammer Studios version, THE VAMPIRE LOVERS, is by far the most faithful to the original story, though of course it takes some liberties. BLOOD AND ROSES (pictured), statelier and more evocative, owing something to VERTIGO, certainly has more of the dreamy quality that Abbott recalls, containing, in fact, a black-and-white dream sequence involving, in one of its tamer images, a courtyard filled with abandoned bicycles, though very little of Le Fanu's original story remains (they even misspell his name in the credits). An airplane figures significantly in BLOOD AND ROSES, which would have surprised Le Fanu.

She Popularized the Shimmy

From Megan Abbott comes news of a fascinating photo gallery. It seems that in the 20s and 30s (and earlier), the stately New York Times would occasionally publish a saucy photograph of a stage performer! I think Megan's favorite is Peggy Fears, #9. I like #3 ("Gilda Grays, who became famous for popularizing the shimmy"). Find your own favorite! The final photo in the series (Allene Ray) was inscribed to the NYT film critic in 1926. Current-day New York Times staff found it in the archives "torn in half and taped together." What's the story there? Don't you want to know? Tempestuous!

Crystal's Lie, Part One

As promised, I have slept on it and now that my mind is rested and supple I will try to recall what McNeil said about DYNASTY. He said he watched an episode called "Crystal's Lie, Part One." Can that be right? Was there a character called Crystal? That sounds right. I will tell you what I did not tell McNeil: I have never seen an episode of DYNASTY! Here is what I think McNeil said about "Crystal's Lie, Part One": "It's impossible to tell whether it's a work of genius or the product of an idiot." He said there's a scene in which a man comes home, looks through the mail (or something, this is all an approximation and any inaccuracy should be attributed to me, not McNeil), loosens his tie, sits down, and has a conversation with his wife like: "How was your day?" "Fine." "Where's Bill?" "Playing football." "Do you want something to eat?" "I ate lunch pretty late today" and so on and so on. "Just two people sitting around in their home," McNeil called it. Then he said there was a long scene on an airplane... I think he said an airplane, but he mentioned couches... were there couches on airplanes in the DYNASTY days? Maybe it was a private airplane! I am pretty sure McNeil said some people were sitting on couches on an airplane, across from one another. One got a drink. Then the two people stared at one another and crossed their legs and just sat there a while before one of them began speaking. Like Samuel Beckett I guess! McNeil is mesmerized by the stately pacing of DYNASTY is the way I would put it.

You're All Right, Slug

Occasionally a slug will get into the house. We've never had that problem before moving here. Never encountered a slug, somehow. I guess wherever you live, different kinds of creatures can get into your house. Slugs aren't so bad. They seem to have personalities. Maybe it's in the way they wag their stately heads to and fro. I'm not saying I'd recognize a particular slug if I ever saw it again, but they have the air of little individuals. I realize I am indulging in what is technically called the "pathetic fallacy." I take the slugs outside and toss them into the greenery. Do slugs enjoy greenery? They seem as if they might. If you have never read anyone's "blog" before, this is what a "blog" is. I'm not sure what you expected!

Your Quotations For Today

Here is your daily quotation from BIRDSONG BY THE SEASONS: A YEAR OF LISTENING TO BIRDS by Donald Kroodsma: "Once again I'm reminded of a fellow student in my ornithology class over 40 years ago. She had decided she was going to study frogs or lizards, I forget which, because everything was already known about birds. She scared me, as I thought that perhaps there was no future in birds." And now a quotation from today's New York Times: "their bodies cleave violently together, aflame with urgent need." Yes, that's from a respectable, sober theatre reviewer in the stately New York Times, and allow me to repeat: "their bodies cleave violently together, aflame with urgent need."

Three Reasons to Buy a Twelve-Pound Book

1) It's a twelve-pound book! Can you imagine all the work that went into it? You have to buy it! You owe this guy! It has 1,000 meticulously restored illustrations and 800,000 words and he published it himself and it took him 32 years to write! Did you hear me? It's a TWELVE-POUND BOOK! The prologue alone, which describes the massive effort, would be reason enough to buy it. The book is called MARIO BAVA: ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARKNESS, by Tim Lucas. 2) If you only know the film KILL, BABY... KILL! through the recent appearance of its faded and less than artful trailer in MGMIEET (as I did) you will be amazed and enlightened to read about its profound influence on both Fellini and Scorsese (in the book's introduction, Scorsese says, "We have to keep resisting the idea of official film history, a stately procession of 'important works' that leaves some of the most exciting films and filmmakers tucked away in the shadows.... The more disreputable the genre and the lower the budget, the less there is at stake and the freer you are to experiment and explore new territories." The "blog," while lacking Scorsese's authority, has contemplated such issues now and then). 3) In a move which should make make McNeil and other connoisseurs of groovy 1960s film titles very happy, there are, like, 25 four-column pages of microscopic font on DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS.

Wild Turkeys

Theresa and I spotted two wild turkeys just hanging out together on the side of Highway 6. We both commented that we had never, in our memories, seen wild turkeys just hanging out by the road like that. Possibly, we had never seen wild turkeys in person. THEN, 60 or 70 MILES later, on Highway 78, we saw ANOTHER WILD TURKEY just standing there sort of watching the cars go by. Good Lord! Wild turkeys. Better looking than I imagined they would be. Stately.