A Barnacle

McNeil writes: "I saw THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN at the Bel Air Mall cinema one Saturday morning at 9 a.m. with my Boy Scout troop. We all hooted and hollered for Mr. Chicken to 'kiss her!' when he was sitting with a girl on a porch swing." I know I'm not "blogging" anymore, but can I help it if something floats along and attaches itself to a previous "post" like a barnacle?

Wings

Last night Chris Offutt made a lot of good points about Icarus and I composed an entire "blog" "post" in my head summarizing them until I remembered I don't "blog" anymore. And anyway, maybe Chris will want to write up his own thoughts on the matter one day. In fact, I encouraged him to do so. Volubly! And when I got home, Megan Abbott had emailed me: "if I do a search through my emails with you for the word 'chicken,' dozens of emails come up! chicken foot, chicken leg, chicken comb, chickens brooding under tables, the ghost and Mr. Chicken" (pictured)... the other day Dr. Theresa said, "Hey, I thought you weren't 'blogging' anymore." And I said, "I only 'blogged' like two more times" and Dr. Theresa said "..."

Indeed

Just finished watching what I think the critics like to call a "bloated farce": WAKE ME WHEN IT'S OVER, a 1960 vehicle for Dick Shawn. Maybe it just seemed so long because it took me practically a week of being sick to watch it. Plus it has the kind of title that makes it too easy for dumb critics: "Wake me when it's over INDEED!" they probably huffed. I hate them so much. I have been emailing Megan and McNeil about this movie (separately) and neither one of them has seen it, which amazes me, because between the two of them, or so I figured, they have seen everything. It's about some servicemen on a remote island building a mod, swinging hotel out of old airplane parts. You can kind of see that in the frame above, though there are no decent shots from WAKE ME WHEN IT'S OVER on the "internet." WAKE ME WHEN IT'S OVER has everything McNeil likes: mod curtains and remote islands. And that is everything McNeil likes. It also has sexism, Orientalism, colonialism, you name it! It's an often morally and politically wretched piece of work that seems to endorse slavery - ! - as a cute local custom, for example. Some early scenes in the second act anticipate Altman's M*A*S*H. Who cares? Not even me. Jack Warden gives one of those performances that interests me: he really digs in and goes for an actual character when everything around him cries otherwise - though it's always nice to see Don Knotts (in a brief early film role that shows his persona fully formed). But the main thing is Megan sent me Dick Shawn's obituary: he died onstage and lay there for five minutes before some of the audience figured out it might not be part of his act.

McNeil's Nerves Are Shot

"Strange light in the sky over Georgia!" exclaims CNN. Also, "Theories Pour In About Mysterious Fireball." Here's the clip, which comes from McNeil, of course, who is very worried, of course. It probably didn't help McNeil's poor nerves that the CNN anchor screams "I see fire!" at the end.

Literary Matters

I can't believe myself. Here I am with two more "Literary Matters." I didn't even realize they were literary matters until I finished typing them up. But I can't lie to myself. I apologize for inflicting more literary matters on you so soon. I'm a monster! 1) I have been looking through A NEW LITERARY HISTORY OF AMERICA, co-edited by Greil Marcus, who may disapprove of me. My favorite part so far, by leaps and bounds, is the article on Hank Williams (he's from Alabama!), and it appears that Maud Newton feels the same way. She includes a lengthy excerpt on her "blog." And as a bonus, it turns out that she loves Roger Miller, one of my favorite singer-songwriters. (Please recall our shared affection for Peter De Vries and Charles Willeford.) My favorite part of the excerpt (and the original article) is Harlan Howard's analysis of the first verse of "Cold, Cold Heart," which is "invisibly held together by fifteen internal r phonemes." Observes Mr. Howard, "Once these words are put together this way, they don’t come apart.” A nice goal for a writer in there. 2) Speaking of which, I am reading REPETITION by Kierkegaard, and the plot is a lot like a THREE'S COMPANY episode, no kidding. This guy wants to break up with his girlfriend, but he wants it to be HER idea, so the narrator (Kierkegaard's stand-in) hires a seamstress to PRETEND (for a year!) to be the guy's other, secret girlfriend to make the real girlfriend jealous. Hilarity ensues when Kierkegaard's friend chickens out. Or philosophy ensues, I guess. At one point, the Kierkegaardian narrator explains why he is keeping his descriptions short, why he is not bringing in "a mass of unrelated things, parlours and dress and beautiful scenery, relatives and friends." He says, "I like lettuce, but I eat only the heart; the leaves, it seems to me, are for pigs." So think about that, too. (This "post" cries out for a brand new illustration - or two! - of Don Knotts as Mr. Furley. I don't know how much longer I can keep up my big artsy "random picture" idea.)

McNeil's Movie Korner

Welcome once again to "McNeil's Movie Korner." McNeil has a recommendation: THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT starring Don Knotts. Here's McNeil: "Much better than I thought it would be. I was actually nervous when DK fell out of the capsule door with ONLY 5 SECONDS LEFT BEFORE LAUNCH!!!!" (The caps and four exclamation points are McNeil's.) I would ask McNeil if there is a monkey in the movie, because I feel sure there is, but McNeil has lately expressed the opinion that there are "too many monkeys" on the "blog" lately. So I doubt I would get a straight answer! PS Last night I was at the City Grocery Bar when I was approached by a graduate student who advanced her theory that McNeil is "made up." You may recall that in the past Phil Oppeheim and Dr. "M." briefly entertained similar suspicions (likewise, McNeil thought Dr. "M." was made up). To me, this represents a sloppy reading indeed of the "blog." May I point out a few obvious hints to the contrary? 1) McNeil takes pictures of things, such as the apple tree in his yard, his shirt, houses he visits, and a weird cloud. 2) McNeil has a daughter who reads Harry Potter. 3) McNeil has his short stories published in various magazines. 4) Phil once loaned McNeil a movie, and was required to mail it to North Carolina, where McNeil lives. 5) McNeil doesn't like the way I answer the telephone. 6) McNeil teaches at a college in the aforementioned state of North Carolina. 7) McNeil's wife is an expert on German art. 8) McNeil takes medicine. 9) McNeil has a foolproof system for winning at craps. 10) We disagree about the proper number of monkeys to put on a "blog." These are the facts of an actual person's life! I am not a good enough writer to make McNeil up. PPS There is something terribly wrong with the "blog's" search feature today (it refuses to admit I have ever referred to Richard Belzer, for example), so it took me forever to "post" this. Like, my coffee got cold. (The search feature doesn't admit I ever "blogged" about my coffee getting cold!) I know you will do me the favor of "clicking" on every single "link" to show me how much you care.

That's More Like It, New York Times

After a period of relative scarcity, the New York Times seems to be getting back up to speed with its Jerry Lewis references. For today's Jerry reference, "click" here. Curiously, this is the second NYT Jerry reference in a row to spotlight the comedian Richard Belzer's affection for Lewis. In today's paper we learn of Belzer's "strong friendship" with his "mentor" Jerry. It occurs to me that Belzer used to work with "blog" acquaintance David Simon on the TV series HOMICIDE. Could this be my "in" with Jerry? Could this be how I become an important part of Jerry's life? Ha ha ha! Just kidding! I am not a stalker! Ha ha ha ha! Uh... Ha ha ha! Back when Mr. Ward and I worked in television together, we sent someone to Los Angeles to interview various celebrities about Don Knotts. Don't worry about why. It's the kind of thing we used to do! And I must say that I recall Mr. Belzer being the most versed and articulate of all the celebrities on the subject of Don Knotts. In fact, he made our freelance interviewer's lack of comedic education glaringly apparent. As Knotts aficionados, we cringed as we watched the footage, Mr. Ward and I did, embarrassed by our Knotts-ignorant surrogate. A comedy historian, this Belzer. That's one nice thing about comedians. They seem interested in their predecessors. Speaking of which, in today's NYT article, we also learn that the comedian Richard Lewis has a friendship with Jonathan Winters. Somehow we have mentioned Jonathan Winters only once in all our years of "blogging." Why? It isn't right. Even Barry Hannah has cited him as an influence. He is great. And now I will go to the youtube and try to find you some proof. Okay, here he is with Johnny. And this concludes today's consideration of things that no one cares about but me - and maybe Richard Belzer and Richard Lewis, who are in their 60s and probably spend precious little time looking at "blogs." You know who doesn't care about these things? People who read "blogs"! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything. And now I crawl back in my hole.