Friday, April 25, 2014

"Blog"trospective 12: Kent Eating Chicken

Listen! I'm not sure what you take me for! But I know it is not funny that Kent Osborne enjoys eating chicken. I guess practically everyone who is not a vegetarian eats tons of chicken. I know it is a dumb joke like when Ed Helms started calling Jim on THE OFFICE "Big Tuna" because he once ate a tuna sandwich (isn't that what happened)? Yet at the same time it is hilarious that Kent enjoys eating chicken. Life is complicated! And that is why you need the following index, or "'blog'trospective," listing for your quick and easy reference every time I have "blogged" about Kent eating chicken. Also, don't forget to avail yourself of the priceless research opportunities represented by our extensive library of previous "blog"trospectives: 1. Tom Franklin 2. Phil Oppenheim 3. Movies 4. The Moon 5. Sandwiches 6. The United States 7. The Beach Boys 8. Arnold Stang 9. Books With Owls in Them 10. Gelatin 11. Monkeys Riding Dogs... and now the most important one of all: 12. Kent Eating Chicken: Abbott, Megan; observes Kent eating chicken wings---after lunch at a chicken place Kent and I see a nice woman with two pet rats for which she seems to be making clothes---almost chokes---bar where Kent used to work is turned into a wings joint; Kent seems glad---chicken cooked in his honor---chicken coop on the roof of a bar where Ward McCarthy and I once took Kent; I hilariously hint that Kent would be thrilled by this news---chicken Kent probably didn't eat, a---coincidental wing eating---I eat an "Osborne sandwich" (the chicken sandwich named for Kent Osborne because he ate so many of them)---I eat some things I think might be chicken livers and think of Kent---inspired by Kent's love of chicken, I eat so many "Osbornes" (chicken sandwiches) that a restaurant owner is shocked to see me eating a hamburger for a change---Kent as "Galactus - Destroyer of Chickens"---Kent ate a ton of wings on this trip but I forgot to mention it on the "blog"---Kent eats a certain chicken sandwich - in considerable quantities - whenever he comes to town---Kent eats a chicken sandwich during a meeting---Kent eats a number of chicken po-boys over the course of a week---Kent eats chicken in two Tennessee locations---Kent eats eight consecutive meals with chicken in them---Kent eats terrible chicken nachos only to discover he could have had some Gus's Fried Chicken instead---Kent eats wings after 50 SHADES OF GREY---Kent eats wings in a hotel lobby---Kent eats wings on Christmas eve---Kent finds Alicia Silverstone's egg salad sandwich recipe; this is not about Kent eating chicken, but chickens lay eggs---Kent has wings for lunch and fried chicken for dinner on the same day!---Kent not the only person to enjoy chicken---Kent orders a single chicken wing---Kent reads William Boyle short stories while waiting for chicken to arrive---"The Osborne" chicken sandwich (named for Kent) mistakenly called "The Pendarvis"---owner of Ajax nearly remembers Kent's surname due to Kent's love of Ajax's grilled chicken po-boy---plans to eat fried chicken during a business meeting. Yeah, I know, half of these are about ME eating chicken. I've learned a valuable lesson about, as Michael Jackson would put it, "the man in the mirror."