Sunday, January 21, 2007

"Blog"trospective 2: Phil Oppenheim

Oppenheim, Phil - actual words of---all good things stem from---allows tired women to stand---always first---always succinct---announces the death of Soupy Sales---appears several times in the Arnold Stang "blog"trospective---apologizes for maligning Jack Carson---appearance in ill-fated "blog"dex---as cautionary tale for Sarah Marine---as he appeared 12 years ago---as one proof of McNeil's existence---asks a question---attends an Ornette Coleman concert---attends Tyler Perry screening party---awe of upgraded to worship---awesomeness of---Benny, Jack; Phil speculates on the death of---Brownstein, Carrie; neighbor of---bull drinking soda in hometown of---calls McNeil's existence into question---cares about Jack Carter---Carson, Jack; sends driver safety video starring---casts shame on Gilmore Girls---changes mind---changes mind again---"Chiseler" revealed by---churlishness of---city chicken and---clarifies seemingly hurtful statements---concerned about spalling---craziness over oatmeal billboard serves as comparison---crustiness undiminished---debunks three-handed beatnik---"deconstruction" makes him mad---definitely likes where Jonathan Lethem is going with "Omega the Unknown---discovers Plastic Man in Burbank---disillusionment of---disparages Jack Carson---disqualified from Oscar Wilde contest---does job too well---"Eat That Chicken" and---eats a shocking amount of oatmeal---eefing and---enjoys pie---ennui of---eyeballs of scorched---fancy tastes of---favorite movie revealed---fears the ruination of oatmeal---finds Stephen Leacock "pretty ******* hilarious"---forwards "link" to Superman article---friend of appears in New York Times---further reflections on boyhood eating habits of---gets drunk---greatest triumph of---grousing of---Handelman, Stanley Myron and---HARD-BOILED t-shirt of repurposed as part of quilt---has a Corner Gas t-shirt---has possibly heard of Professor Irwin Corey---has real job---HIPSTER HEGEMONY and---home office of---hopes I'm sitting down---hot Jerry tip of---in tune with the feelings of graduate students---inspires people to check out library books---irrationally continues to insist that McNeil does not exist---issues communique---jerky of---jerky of; source of---keeps tabs on the James Beard Awards---Klinker, Effie; spry libido of and---knowledge of penny-farthings comes in handy - again!---knows what I'm talking about (maybe)---knows what to call those bicycles with a big wheel in front and a little wheel in back---laments the absence of the Quangaroo---likes Mindy Kaling---likes something---loans me his battered paperback of DINO: LIVING HIGH IN THE DIRTY BUSINESS OF DREAMS---LOVE BOAT, THE, and---magazine subscription of---McNeil in awe of---monkey video of depresses me---monster shrimp and---mother dated Marty Ingels and Arnold Stang---mother makes him kasha---names "best page on the internet"---New Orleans video provided by---Nick Fury and---not a mythical creature---not an egghead elitist---not to be outdone---notes that Rory from GILMORE GIRLS loved Dawn Powell---oatmeal cart and---"old-timey books" and---Oscar wrap-up with---Pac-Man entwined with life story in a surprising way---pensiveness of---Phil Oppenheim Fan Club---pigeon "link" and---potential birthday oatmeal of---practices usurpation---prefers sazerac to Pimm's Cup---presents James Whorton, Jr.'s Velvet Suit Theatre---president of the Stang Spotters Club (Eastern chapter)---probably has a "blog"---probably knows what to call that hat with goggles on it---proves that the Fall's opening act sounds like a Fall cover band---puts aside ambivalence---QT dead to---questions cultural imperialism---quotes Clash lyrics---reading chair of---reads books---recommends awesome African music---reiterates---relative worthiness of pie recommendations considered---reminds everyone about Joey Heatherton's birthday---responsible for success of "blog"---ridiculed by underlings---robbed of joy---Robert Walser gives him a headache---role as "Blog" Buddy---role as flunky---Sage of Atlanta, The (nickname)---says a film festival is showing SHIP OF MONSTERS---sends a nice article---sends additional pie information---sends along Jerry Lewis's Bavarian cream recipe---sends comic book cover featuring Bizarro Supermen dressed up as JFK, Marilyn, and Jerry Lewis for Halloween---SHAKE HANDS WITH DANGER and---Shelley Berman amongst the greatest things he has ever seen---SHIP OF MONSTERS and---shirt of is older than half the people in this room---Smokey Stover and---soft spot for Gilmore Girls---something else makes me think of that oatmeal billboard he hates so much---Sommer, Elke, makes day of---spends Mardi Gras in Atlanta---still likes pie---sums up own legacy---tells me about Jerry Lewis wanting to smack Lindsay Lohan in the mouth---tells me Jerry Lewis died---tells of a cantor's influence on Ornette Coleman---tempers his highbrow Strindberg reference---tendency to gasp with delight---threats of---TWISTER'S REVENGE and---underlying sweetness of---use of the word "twee"---wants everyone to know that Larry King is on Twitter---Weegee and---Whorton, James, Jr. and share musical tastes---wife of posits Lenny and the Squigtones as ideological forerunners of Spinal Tap---Williams, Hank Jr. and---work ethic of---would appreciate GERSHWIN: HIS LIFE AND WORK by Howard Pollack. Also enjoy our PREVIOUS "BLOG"TROSPECTIVE on TOM FRANKLIN.