Sizzling Celebrity Gossip

As you may have noticed, there has been no SIZZLING CELEBRITY GOSSIP of any kind anywhere in the world since June 26, 2012! That's a long time to go without any SIZZLING CELEBRITY GOSSIP! Well, fret with woe no more, dear reader! Our SIZZLING CELEBRITY GOSSIP team is back with all the latest SIZZLING CELEBRITY GOSSIP! ITEM! GEORGES PEREC remembers the first Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin movie he ever saw. SIZZLING CELEBRITY GOSSIP has learned that the movie was none other than SAILOR BEWARE! Perec also remembers BOB HOPE and THE THREE STOOGES. This guy remembers everything, I tell ya! That's the word on the street from SIZZLING CELEBRITY GOSSIP! ITEM! Remember when JACK PENDARVIS sat on an airplane next to a woman who knew all the descendants of the memoirist who wrote THE EGG AND I? That's right, the book that became the hit movie that kicked off the lucrative MA AND PA KETTLE franchise! Well! Today Pendarvis took a nap! Before he fell asleep, he read some of his "nighttime book" during the day! Like a libertine! And Perec's 470th memory (this guy numbers his memories, I tell ya!) is "I remember THE EGG AND I by BETTY MCDONALD." Most shocked of all? ACE ATKINS! Or we certainly assume that the bestselling author will be shocked when he hears of this shocking development of shock. Because in a recent neighborhood walk, he confidently asserted to Pendarvis, "She [Pendarvis's seatmate on Delta flight 2290] was next to the only other person on that airplane who knew who Ma and Pa Kettle were." Georges Perec would beg to differ, Ace! Has the famed crime writer sparked a white-hot literary feud with the dead French experimentalist, whose translators claim the likes of us could never understand his masterful and esoteric Three Stooges references? Watch SIZZLING CELEBRITY GOSSIP for developments! ITEM! MCNEIL has been watching the ELVIS movie WILD IN THE COUNTRY, in which, or so McNeil asserts, Elvis "sings a song about slipping on a banana peel." When asked wasn't WILD IN THE COUNTRY one of the more serious Elvis movies, McNeil responded, "CLIFFORD ODETS! That's how serious!" No reader of SIZZLING CELEBRITY GOSSIP can fail to recognize the name of the high-minded 1930s playwright who penned the screenplay. "I wish I could have seen his face when he heard about the banana peel song," says McNeil. And so say we all. Here at SIZZLING CELEBRITY GOSSIP, so say we all indeed.