Thursday, January 08, 2015
A Pile of Logs
The other night when I couldn't sleep I turned on TCM and saw the last little bit of JEREMIAH JOHNSON. Then TCM host Robert Osborne came out, the way he does, and said that in the original script, Robert Redford was a cannibal! I ain't lying. Robert Osborne said the original title of the script was LIVER-EATIN' JOHNSON. For real! And when Redford brought it to director Sydney Pollack, Pollack was like, "Hmm, are you sure you want the hero you're playing in this movie to be a cannibal, Robert Redford?" (I paraphrase.) So they changed it. I'm sorry to tell you such a horrible thing! But how do you think I felt? So I switched over to a Freddie Prinze Jr. movie but it had been on for eight minutes already and something very vital must've happened in those eight minutes, because I COULD NOT FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THIS FREDDIE PRINZE JR. MOVIE! So I changed channels again and there was JEFFERSON IN PARIS, and Thomas Jefferson was trying to impress a woman by jumping over a pile of logs! He literally said, "Why, I'll jump over these logs for you!" (If I paraphrase again, it is but slightly.) And Thomas Jefferson leapt over this pile of logs but his foot caught on something and he took a tumble straight out of "America's Funniest Home Videos." But kind of incredibly it was not supposed to be funny! His wrist (or something) was broken and we cut to scenes of Jefferson wasting away in a feverish delirium because of the injury he sustained trying to jump over a pile of logs to get a woman to like him back. So certainly this must be a real historical fact, huh? It's just too dumb to believe otherwise. I have a book of Jefferson's letters, including many to the woman in question, but I'm too lazy to look it up.