Sunday, January 24, 2010

Advice For Vampires

Last night I saw part of that TWILIGHT movie, which is about vampires who go to high school. And I thought, WHY WOULD A VAMPIRE EVER GO TO HIGH SCHOOL? Dear reader, how old are you? Forty? Twenty-five? How much money would someone have to pay you to sit through a year of high school classes? All the money in the world? Now imagine that you are a vampire who is like 1,000 years old! Wouldn't you rather go to college? Maybe the vampire wants to become a botanist. Maybe the vampire has always wanted to learn Italian. For a vampire, college is the way to go. I have no doubt that the vampires-in-high-school thing was explained in some part of the movie I didn't see. But I urge all the vampires out there to go to college instead. Of course, if you are turned into a vampire while you are still in high school, you should NOT DROP OUT. Stay in school, vampires! (PS: Because it is so obvious, I feel sure someone else somewhere on the "internet" has made a similar point, probably in a vampire chat room, and as you know there is hardly anything new to say on the "internet." But I couldn't think of a great way to google for it to check.)