Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The English Language Is Alive With Wonder and I Hate It

Hey! If you are old like me, you probably did not realize that the rebellious youth of today have turned "ash" into a verb. If there is one thing my undergraduates enjoy more than smoking deadly cigarettes, it is using "ash" as a verb, as in "I ashed my cigarette," meaning that the speaker has flicked the excess ash off the end of his or her fashionable cigarette. As you get older, one thing you learn is that old people are hopelessly stupid. For example, I feel that it has been going on for at least a decade, yet I am still enraged that people are using "genius" as an adjective, as in "That's so genius, using 'ash' as a verb!" I sit around in my ratty bathrobe thinking about it. I used to hate uptight people like me, but now I am one and I feel pretty good about it. Speaking of cigarettes, yesterday I saw part of a movie I love but which everyone else hates. It is called COMPANY MAN (2000). In it, Woody Allen uses a cigarette holder, an image which, had I ever thought about it, I never would have expected to see.