Tuesday, December 21, 2010

George Lazenby's Agent

You know who came over tonight? That's right, Ace Atkins! He brought a bootleg (this illustration will give you some idea of the print quality) of a movie called UNIVERSAL SOLDIER (1971). I am paraphrasing, but Ace said that George Lazenby's agent told him, and I quote, "James Bond is for losers! No one is going to watch a James Bond movie ever again! The counterculture is where it's at! You need to be in UNIVERSAL SOLDIER!" So George Lazenby gave up a multi-million dollar deal for James Bond and starred as "Ryker" in UNIVERSAL SOLDIER. How do I know his character's name is Ryker? Because the singers on the soundtrack keep singing "Oh Ryker! Oh Ryker!" George Lazeby's agent somehow scored a rather sizable speaking part in UNIVERSAL SOLDIER. I know this because when he came on the screen, Ace Atkins said, "That's George Lazenby's agent!" Dr. Theresa and Ace and I are going to form a gang called the Rykers. We're going to walk around Oxford with hair and moustaches and leather trench coats like Ryker's. In one scene, Ryker plays with a Frisbee and he's really good at it.