Saturday, July 02, 2016

Funeral Bikini

Email from an excitable McNeil. "Wooo Hooo" it was titled. That's right, three o's. Or six. Half a dozen o's lined up like eggs in a carton. "I saw Dabney Coleman in a bit part on I DREAM OF JEANNIE last night!" McNeil wrote. Which reminded me that Dr. Theresa and I had seen Dabney Coleman in an early COLUMBO, a fact I duly reported to McNeil in response. Dabney Coleman played the thankless role of a flunky on the police force, a type often seen in COLUMBO, but Dabney Coleman really put in some effort, ferociously smacking his gum in every scene and creating a vibrant presence. One might say a character! Even though I knew better I was like, "Wow, Columbo's gettin' a sidekick!" Here we see Dabney Coleman giving guest-murderer Martin Landau the old stink eye as Columbo gets to the bottom of things. But that was long ago. Dr. Theresa and I have already made it to season four, the one where Robert Conrad is the guest-murderer. Columbo goes to his house and Robert Conrad's secretary is there wearing a bikini! Columbo is surprised! Columbo is thinking, "I guess anything goes these days!" I realize that "secretary" is an outdated term but that's what they call her. Then Columbo tells them some guy is dead. And I ad-libbed a line for Robert Conrad. I said in a deep, growly voice, "Why don't you change into your funeral bikini, baby?" Well, it got a laugh from Dr. Theresa. I'm not googling "funeral bikini" because God knows what would happen. So I apologize to the thousands of others who have no doubt already made this same wisecrack in whatever dubious context. It's July already and you know I have to "blog" about McNeil at least once a month so I can do his regular birthday tribute as promised, even though I'm not "blogging" anymore, obviously.