"Blog" Advent Calendar for Dec. 1, 2009

It's December! And you know what that means: time once again for that popular brainchild of Dr. "M.," the "blog" advent calendar. Have you forgotten the history and purpose of the "blog" advent calendar? Then "click" here for details. If you are already a devotee of the "blog" advent calendar, however, and are confident that you understand how it works, simply "click" here to let the fun begin.

The Percentages

Remember how I told you that "Blog" Buddy Jason Polan is drawing every person in New York City? Well, now Jason reckons that he has reached one tenth of one percent of his goal. That's right, he has drawn 0.1% of the people in New York City! Check out his drawing schedule for tomorrow ("click" here) so you can be one of the people he immortalizes at his celebratory event marking this historic milestone! Attention Megan Abbott and Amanda Stern... has Jason Polan drawn you yet? Get cracking! (Our randomly selected picture for today seems to be Leonard Maltin. I am not implying that he lives in New York City. It's random.)

You Wouldn't Understand

I wish I could tell you about the movie I COME IN PEACE but it would just sound like I was making fun of it. You wouldn't understand! Like, Brian Benben is the smart alecky FBI agent who is teamed up with down-to-earth cop Dolph Lundgren. And then Brian Benben goes over to Dolph Lundgren's apartment and Dolph Lundgren is like, "Would you like some wine?" And Brian Benben is totally blown away by Dolph Lundgren's sophistication, which he (Brian Benben) has misjudged. Okay, that's just a taste. I will think for a while and decide if you deserve some more. No random picture will do. Here is a still from I COME IN PEACE.

Tantalizing Monograph Reference

As you know, I alert you whenever the New York Times mentions Jerry Lewis. Consider yourself alerted. Today's Jerry reference comes to us courtesy of the reliable Dave Kehr, and includes a tantalizing comment about "Chris Fujiwara’s excellent monograph on Mr. Lewis, which comes out this week from the University of Illinois Press." (I feel I should explain today's randomly selected picture, which is, of course, Mr. Ward pretending to enjoy the Foster Brooks robot at the MGM Grand, before that robot was literally thrown out with the trash.)

Sizzling Celebrity Gossip!

Ed Helms enjoys flying those remote control model airplanes! At least that's what I understood him to say as I creepily eavesdropped on him last night. I was sitting at the bar of the Miller Union restaurant in Atlanta, and Mr. Helms (of the TV program THE OFFICE) was standing behind me. You can get this kind of sizzling celebrity gossip only right here at the "blog"! You know what the best kind of celebrity gossip is? Sizzling.

Time For It

You know very well it's time for another (#36) in our infinite though strictly regulated series of amateur Beach Boys cover songs from the "internet":

New Hampshire's Largest Hearth Retailer

I was up at four in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep. Do you know who pays for 30 seconds of local airtime at four in the morning to run their commercial during an episode of CHEERS? Chimney sweeps! There were shots of the interiors of clean chimneys, and a voiceover guy telling you why it is important to keep your chimney clean (a dirty chimney can start a fire, maybe? I believe that was one of the selling points). The name of the company is "Ash Ridders" and their motto is "We Will Get Rid of Your Ash." I couldn't find a "web" site for them, although their address and contact information can be found in a helpfully alphabetized nationwide list on the site of "Fireplace Village," which bills itself as "New Hampshire's Largest Hearth Retailer." Chimneys and chimney-related products and services on the "internet"! It's as if I have entered another world, like when those kids went up on the roof with Dick Van Dyke in MARY POPPINS, except instead of doing that I am wasting time on the "internet." For example, did you know that New Hampshire's Largest Hearth Retailer also has a "blog"? As long as we are on the subject, check out this "hot" entry (ha ha! Because fires are hot!) about how to choose a chimney sweep. Somehow I believe I have glossed over my favorite part of the experience, which is that the admirably focused motto of "Ash Ridders" is "We Will Get Rid of Your Ash."