Monday, July 16, 2012

Two Things I Didn't Google

Late last night I saw a little bit of a movie called AMERICAN KICKBOXER 1 - a charmingly confident title! I didn't "google" it because I am sure a lot of other people on the "internet" have already made wry observations about naming your movie with the built-in presumption of a sequel. Is that the only time a filmmaker has done that? Well, I don't know. I didn't "google" it. I don't even know if that's the correct title. That's just what the TV told me when I "clicked" on the channel. When I came in, a wisecracking reporter was arguing with his no-nonsense editor, and the two actors were really trying to give it something, you know? They were scrappy, I guess that's how I would put it. Then I flipped away to a quirky independent movie about a quirky middle-aged man having a quirky midlife crisis. He rode a bicycle that was too small for him, for example! And he identified with an extinct bird, how quirky! And a melancholy, beautiful teen, wise beyond her years, gave him some life lessons, natch! So they curled up together chastely under a hand-knitted blanket and fell into a cozy slumber and uptight people who weren't quirky enough misunderstood their quirky relationship. So everybody gazed out over the cold ocean and thought about their quirks. Ugh. I flipped back to AMERICAN KICKBOXER 1 and two kickboxers were sparring in the ring and one said, "You can't take the heat!" And the other one said, "I can take the heat, I just can't take your ATTITUDE!" He seemed like he was about to cry. So the first kickboxer left the ring in a huff and the second kickboxer cried out, "That's right! WALK AWAY!" I have to say that between the two films, the emotions seemed more genuine in AMERICAN KICKBOXER 1. The other thing I didn't "google" was the "Chocolate Wonderfall," which is something else in the steak and cotton candy commercial Dr. Theresa told me about. I started to "google" "Chocolate Wonderfall" but you know how when you start to "google" now the "google" will try to fill in the rest of the term for you before you finish typing it? So I was in the process of "googling" "Chocolate Wonderfall" and "google" filled this in for me: chocolate wonderfall gross - so I became disheartened and stopped "googling." But now I'm going to do a "Google Image Search" for it. You win, Chocolate Wonderfall!