Monday, March 03, 2014

Cute Oscar Poetry Vomit

In the most boring news you are likely to hear all day, my sister and I tied with equally unimpressive scores for the third year in a row in our boring annual Oscar-guessing contest which we don't even care about anymore. Two mighty titans of Oscar-guessing, equally matched, forever! The only thing I remember about the Oscars is a commercial for the iPad, which was horrible. A crackly voice tells us "We don't read and write poetry to be cute..." and then goes on and on about poetry while there are shots of something I can't remember... clouds in a sky? "Ordinary" people doing "amazing" things? Or maybe it was the other way around. And somebody crackling on and on about "poetry." It really made me sick. First of all, I was like, "Hold on, crackling voice! I'll read and write poetry because it's cute if I want to." It was like the time Michiko Kakutani said schlumpy guys can't think about flowers. Then I remembered the other day when Dr. Theresa and I were riding around listening to some "quiet, wry humor" on NPR and Dr. Theresa aptly remarked, "This makes me want to vomit in my mouth... and ears." Oh, I was reading THE DAIN CURSE as a palliative during the Oscars, and it has an owl in it.