Sunday, June 08, 2014

Please No Vulgar Language

Dr. Theresa and I went out of town to an awesome wedding this weekend! I did not take my little notebook in which I jot all my precious jottings whenever I go somewhere because it's not polite to jot things at a wedding! Also, I forgot. So the night before the wedding, at a kind of pre-wedding jamboree, I found myself wanting to jot something but I had nothing to jot with nor on. But Wright Thompson was there, and he is an ace reporter, one of the top sportswriters in the country. I mean the world! He is always getting on a plane for somewhere. I think he's in Mexico City today. I felt sure as such a man he would have jotting material on hand at all times! But he handed me his phone and said, "Text it to yourself." I had to admit that I did not know how to text something to myself. So Wright took the phone back and upon my return home I was pleased to have an email from him that consisted solely of this phrase: "The tail end of her vibrancy" - for that is the phrase I had wanted to jot. You see, also in attendance was the man who knew one of Bob Hope's mistresses! I bothered him for more details, because our previous conversation on the subject was cut short. He said that she was in her 70s when he met her and at "the tail-end of her vibrancy." They met at an art show that took place in "Elvis's old house" (!) overlooking Sunset Boulevard. She was still quite a jet-setter at the time, he said, and married to "one of the Avon Brothers." I do not know anything about the Avon Brothers. Who are the Avon Brothers? I think that's what he said. I didn't have my notebook. There had been a lot of bad weather on the drive, and we were all worried about the weather for the wedding - an outdoor wedding at a beautiful farm on the banks of a river. But the sun came out on the wedding day! And on the ride to the farm I even commented on the happy break. So of course as soon as we set foot on the farm - the very moment! - a scary line of clouds became visible over the horizon and we were suddenly blasted by Biblical winds, really terrifying winds (although, as Dr. Theresa pointed out, it was also kind of exhilarating, because you don't often find yourself standing in the middle of a wind like that), and then the lightning started, and soon thereafter the pouring rain. Most everyone got under the big tent where the post-wedding dinner was to be served and waited out the storm. Wright watched the Belmont Stakes on his versatile phone with a cluster of other interested parties gathered around him, and I had the pleasure of hearing Wright Thompson call the race and provide color commentary for the rest of us who were not close enough to see the tiny screen. The wedding was delayed for some hours, which I am sure was stressful for the bride, but we in the mob had a very cheerful time, as you can see from this photo of Tom Franklin and me, taken by Beth Ann Fennelly. As you can also see, I have just run through the drenching deluge across the flooded yard because that's where the whiskey was. And an enterprising young bartender whose tip jar was filling with rainwater! Here you see us enjoying drinks from personalized Mason jars, a pleasant souvenir of a memorable wedding. The sun was low by the time the weather cleared. The ceremony was lovely, the bride and groom were lovely, and a gigantic rainbow appeared! Oh, and I met a man named Zeus for the first time in my life. He was a guest at the wedding, an impressive figure in a black suit, a black cowboy hat, and a bright fuchsia necktie, a darkly handsome fellow, I would say, tall and mysterious - in short, worthy of the name Zeus. Imagine if your name were Zeus and you weren't handsome and mysterious enough to pull it off! On the drive back home we stopped at a gas station somewhere in Arkansas and a sign taped to the register said "PLEASE NO VULGAR LANGUAGE" which I found an admirable sentiment.