Tuesday, March 24, 2015

My Dream About Horses

Dang! I have to clean up my filthy office because next ADVENTURE TIME meeting, Kent will be here LIVE! I don't want him to see the kind of squalor I live in. Mostly it's shoes and wine corks and cat hair and "scrap paper" and library books about cigarette lighters and the prehistory of fire stacked on a scratched-up ottoman and a bunch of coats just thrown over the door and piles of old comic books that have fallen down and an old TWIN PEAKS soundtrack CD I use as a coaster. There, I said it! And now I see some wool hats that are almost falling off a table. And some curling-up pictures of Jerry Lewis I haven't figured out what to do with yet. (Kelly Hogan gave me this one YEARS AGO!) During the meetings, the camera on this computer is carefully angled away from the worst of the mess. Kent and I have vowed to eat Gus's fried chicken all through the meeting, much to the very apparent dismay of Ashly Burch and Adam Muto, who DON'T EVEN REALLY KNOW WHAT GUS'S FRIED CHICKEN IS. I guess they think we're just gross and probably eat chicken in a gross way that will be horrible to witness during a video conference. Or maybe it's just plain unprofessional to eat fried chicken in a business meeting! WHO CARES. Anyway, at lunch the other day with Melissa we were talking about dreams and I was saying I LIKE hearing people's dreams, counter to the popular affectation of whining that other people's dreams aren't interesting. And then I told Melissa four or five boring dreams that were probably humiliatingly revealing. What a jerk! So anyway, last night I dreamed that somebody gave me a horse for a present. I was okay with it! But I didn't know how to take care of it. So the guy who delivered the horse said he'd show me an instructional video. And the "instructional video" was just a feature length film he had spent all of his own money to write, direct, and produce, about a group of young friends who are trying to make it in show biz. Ha ha! It was a wacky comedy. There was one scene during a wedding rehearsal when across the way from the gazebo where the wedding was being rehearsed there were a bunch of horses going for a swim! And the young rowdies decided to play a trick on the guy who was taking the horses for a swim. And SOMEONE WAS ACCIDENTALLY SHOT. But luckily the victim was wearing a mascot costume and though his baseball head was mostly shot off, he was okay inside there. And I kept looking at this guy like, "When am I going to find out what to feed my horse?" AND I NEVER DID. He just packed up his stuff when the movie was over and left me with the horse. As he left he said, "Maybe you'll want to keep this press packet with a full-color pull-out poster!" And he laughed warmly like he was doing me a big favor. And now that I think of it, he resembled a serial killer.