You're Missing Out

I know none of you watches an actual "television" anymore. You watch your "television" programming on devices that are not "televisions." And I salute you! But here's what you're missing. I watch the TV show FARGO on television, and they have this announcer that comes on beforehand and says, "FARGO is intended for mature audiences. Viewer discretion is advised." But he says it in this real quiet, measured, threatening way, all grim and sinister and knowing, like he's better than us. And then, when we cut away from FARGO, he says things like, "FARGO is brought to you by Burger King's new buffalo chicken fries." But he says it in the same darkly insinuating, quietly mocking, evil tone of calculated murder. "FARGO is brought to you by Burger King's new buffalo chicken fries." He says it like that.