What It's Like

It's like "theatre."

The British Way!

And yes, I spell "lacklustre" the British way. CAN YOU HANDLE IT? It's the classiest way to spell it and I do it because I'm classy.

Hold On to Your Irises, Everybody!

Theresa has seen the eyelashes commercial! She says the mandatory list of possible side effects (which I missed) sounds weird: "darkening of eyelids" and "permanent change of the color of your irises" (Theresa's paraphrases).

Medicine That Cures Your Eyelashes

I saw a commercial for a prescription medicine that cures your lacklustre eyelashes! I am not kidding!

Soup Club

McNeil and I are eating soup for lunch today! At the same time! Though we live so many miles apart! It really makes you think.

Potential

Speaking of repressive desublimation, our friend from "She Blogged By Night" reports that she recently caught the last half of THE BIG CUBE. I am trying to talk her into reviewing it for this "blog." I believe it would pave the way for a great new "blog" feature in which people review halves of movies.

The Mind Reels

I've said it before, but isn't it funny how our popular "random illustration" policy BLOWS YOUR MIND? Like, even though the picture is completely random, the squirrel appears to adore the softer side of Charles Bukowski. And what better representatives of repressive desublimation than Marion and Howard Cunningham?

Aw

You know I'm reading that novel HOLLYWOOD by Charles Bukowski. And I come to a part where he says that James Thurber "would have made a h*** of a bad-a**ed coal miner," which is an awesome thing to say about James Thurber. Just a few lines later are his "5 cats... with their ten beautiful eyes." Aw! How can I not love Charles Bukowski? Maybe I do now! All of a sudden! But will it last? Anyway, I bet he would hate being bleeped out with asterisks like that. Yes, Charles Bukowski would certainly consider me a real *****.

Wadada Leo Smith!

Do you know who you need? Wadada Leo Smith.

Triumphant Return of Repressive Desublimation

McNeil called to tell me about a 104-year-old strongman who just passed away, and up until the time of his passing he was still able to "bend coins with his fingers." (Note: I am relaying the phone message as it was relayed to me by Theresa, so that is a Theresa quotation, not a McNeil quotation.) But more importantly, wasn't 2010 supposed to be "The Year of Repressive Desublimation"? McNeil is doing his part: he has dvr'd a movie called THE BIG CUBE, in which Lana Turner ingests psychedelic drugs, apparently. If that's not repressive desublimation, I don't know what is. In the meantime, I have a(nother) Peter Sellers movie similarly loaded up and ready to go, and I think it is all about squares and hippies and such, of course. But what of us, yes, our smart generation? Everything sure was repressively desublimated back in the 60s, right? Ha! What if I were to tell you that OUR OWN IDEAS AND IMPULSES ARE BEING REPRESSIVELY DESUBLIMATED RIGHT NOW IN THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY WHEN EVERYONE IS SO GREAT? But we don't know it because "the man" is doing such a good job! My guess is that it's a naughty cartoon or skit you think is really subversive and dangerous and edgy, and it's broadcast by one of the biggest corporations in the world, yes, a corporation owned by "the man"! In my supposedly forthcoming novel, which is complete and perfect but as yet unreleased for reasons that no one will explain, I make reference to this phenomenon with a supposedly scandalous puppet show I made up called DIRTY OCTOPUS. I can tell you now, because my novel will never come out, I reckon, so I am publishing it bit by bit on my "blog" - in this case, I am publishing the two words DIRTY OCTOPUS. You go, repressive desublimation!

Poster

Do you like posters and helping? Our friend Judge has created a poster, silk-screened by hand, all proceeds from which will go to Doctors Without Borders and Partners In Health, to help out in Haiti.

Today's Big Item

Sandra Bullock loves Jerry Lewis! It's in the New York Times! You know I always tell you when there's a Jerry reference in the New York Times. This one is really just on a New York Times "blog," so it doesn't count, but the important part is that Sandra Bullock loves Jerry Lewis, which I figured you would be eager to know.

Wylie B. Goode

Here's my nephew Wylie playing in his band. Watch it all the way through because Wylie goes nuts on a solo at the very end. He's the second one from the left but I don't need to tell you that because he's the one that goes nuts on a solo at the end at that's all you need to know.

Frances Ford Lopalla

Did you ever notice how sometimes good reviews make you want nothing to do with their subjects and bad reviews of things make you fall in love? No? Maybe it's just me. Like, I read a great review in the New York Times of a guy who plays the bass fiddle and uses his wonderful voice to sing sparkling, witty lyrics about being seated on an airplane next to Leonard Bernstein. For no reason, my heart recoiled and shriveled within my bosom at the thought of entertainment so very sparkling and witty - though I am fascinated by Leornard Bernstein! And the more sparkling and witty and smart and elegant yet accessible and devil-may-care the reviewer made everything sound, the more appalled and repulsed I became through no fault of the actual artist being reviewed, who is probably fantastic. On the other hand, I read a crummy, prissy, disdainfully sniffing Publisher's Weekly review of a novel called HOLLYWOOD by Charles Bukowski. Here's part of it: "This book deteriorates into juvenile satire in which familiar, real-life figures appear with the letters of their names shifted slightly: the famous director Jon-Luc Modard, the philosopher Jean-Paul Sanrah, Frances Ford Lopalla and an obvious Norman Mailer stand-in called Victor Norman." I mean, come on! Though I am a far, far cry from the world's most ardent Bukowski fan - I wouldn't call myself a fan at all - I knew I had to have it. Frances Ford Lopalla! (Back to random illustrations for now.)

Things My Students Told Me

1) Dateline: LITTLE ROCK. One young woman's mother has a trampoline in the backyard. At night, coyotes occupy the trampoline. 2) A great aunt dresses as a male pilgrim every Thanksgiving. She sits on the porch smoking cigarettes and doing crossword puzzles, dressed as a male pilgrim. We all looked at the pictures.

Ominous Green Sparks

Wait, I forgot to tell you the most exciting part of that Manohla Dargis review. In the movie, there's a "white cat, whose eyes beam out ominous green sparks and who has been immortalized in artwork throughout the house." Here's the picture again in case you forgot it.

I'm a Big Shot

Remember the man who was sad because he went to Princeton? I just read a book review he wrote, in which he mistakenly alluded to Judas when the obvious and actual subject of the allusion was St. Peter. I was happy to notice his error. It made me feel like a big shot! I need to get out more.

Parenthetical

(It's from a Manohla Dargis review of a 1977 Japanese horror movie called HOUSE.)

The Greatest Picture Ever In the New York Times

Imagine my surprise today when I saw the greatest picture ever printed in the New York Times:

Payday

Are you lucky enough to have a job? Is today your payday? Maud Newton says that giving to Doctors Without Borders is a good way to help the people in Haiti, and Maud Newton is always right.