The Bieber Clarification

Are you a writer who enjoys pleasant experiences? Then you should try to get a gig at Hendrix College in Conway, Arkansas. I gave a little talk there last night and they treated me like a king! They put me up in a luxurious apartment for starters. The previous guest? Lydia Davis! A person named Maria told me she had never seen a jacket as nice as mine except on B.B. King, which is probably the greatest compliment ever. After I did my little show in a beautiful auditorium, some of the students took me to a pizza place that had run out of pizza. So that was funny. We had salads and it was a good time. At one point, the booth behind ours was occupied by a large number of young rowdies who had become boisterous due to the imbibing of intoxicating liqueurs, unless I miss my guess. One of them was trying to clarify an opinion with which some of his friends had taken issue, and he bellowed forcefully: "I like Justin Bieber AS A PERSON!"