Thursday, May 12, 2011

Lame Twitter Joke Gateway to Evil

So I was over there on the twitter the other day and I thought I would make a joke about how, were I asked to write a celebrity profile of Tina Fey for a famous glossy magazine, I would call it "Lady Haha," and how everyone would hate me. You will agree I am sure that it was a delightful spoof of magazine article titles - take that, magazine article titles! - utilizing some "wordplay" on the name of the celebrity singer "Lady Gaga" - something for the youngsters to "identify" with! Truly my wonderful twitter joke had it all. But then I "googled" the term "Lady Haha" and found 66,300 matches, which disheartened me. Moreover, it seemed that maybe there was a real performer calling herself "Lady Haha." Was she some kind of "Weird Al" of the 21st century? I certainly had my fingers crossed as I "googled" "Lady Haha" + wikipedia to double check, because other than rearranging my recommendation shelf at Square Books (yesterday I added a "Wacky Packages" [pictured] compilation and ARMIES OF THE NIGHT by Norman Mailer! Check it out!), I honestly have nothing better to do with my life. Friends, I was led DIRECTLY and AGAINST MY WILL by "Google" to that crazy article Phil sent me about how the CIA is controlling Lady Gaga with brainwashing techniques as part of a Masonic plot to take over the world... yes, to that evil part of the "internet" I have warned you about from which no one ever returns - the same part that explains how Bob Hope is controlling people's minds and actions from beyond the grave with his powerful brain waves. Beware! The author of the article compliments a "surprisingly accurate" wikipedia entry - I'll bet! - on the whole subject. I'm struck by how much I sound like a pawn of the CIA. But the important thing to learn from this is that EVERYTHING on the "internet" - even your mildest twitter gag - will eventually lead you to an article about how the CIA is controlling Lady Gaga with brainwashing techniques as part of a Masonic plot to take over the world... it's the black hole at the center of the "internet"! Heed me, people! PS The other day Lee Durkee sent me something from the same part of the "internet" about a demon head they have found on Mars. Don't "click"! Just to be on the safe side, don't "click" on anything ever, promise? I am saving you from yourself!