Thursday, October 15, 2015
He's Got to Learn
I went back to Funky's and ordered a pizza to go again. I chose the chicken Alfredo pizza. The bartender went back into the kitchen and told the skinny guy who was standing there my order and then, as I could see, he had a lot of questions and she was pointing at the menu where the ingredients for the chicken Alfredo pizza were listed and he was scratching his head and I was like, "uh-oh." So I was sitting there at the bar reading EVE'S HOLLYWOOD and it really made me think of Elizabeth Kaiser. And then I thought about Padgett Powell for two reasons simultaneously: he and Elizabeth lived together mysteriously yet platonically in France at some point; the last time Padgett Powell was in town I hear he ate at Funky's. Ha ha! Why is that funny? Mainly because they call it Funky's, I guess. And if you don't know who Padgett Powell is, he is one of our great living authors of experimental literature (I guess you'd call it) and he ate pizza at Funky's! Where Katy Perry drinks with collegiate rowdies. I asked Elizabeth whether I could mention that she lived mysteriously but platonically with Padgett Powell and she said yes and she also said "I remember he had glued a picture of a grizzly bear to the refrigerator." But that's Elizabeth for you! Like the time she landed in Montana (?) and just wandered into a random bar and happened to make friends with James Crumley. While I was thinking about all these things, I noticed that the skinny lad in the kitchen was on the phone. The music was loud - an "ironic" "indie rock" cover (I guess) of "The Roof Is On Fire" - but I could tell that he was asking somebody how to make a chicken Alfredo pizza. I asked the bartender whether that's what the kid was doing and she said, "Yes. He's new." I said, "That's okay, I can order something else. I'm not married to Alfredo." And she said, "He's got to learn." I thought that was a good answer! The end of the story is the kid made us a perfectly acceptable pizza.