Space Is the Place

Did you know that Sun Ra voted for George Bush (the first one, I mean)? Neither did I! I found out yesterday (which was election day) as I continued to read SPACE IS THE PLACE: THE LIVES AND TIMES OF SUN RA by John F. Szwed. Who can figure out Sun Ra? Not me! Don't try, maybe that's the message here. It is kind of like the time I told you the true fact that the Dalai Lama is not a vegetarian. Favorite Sun Ra quotation lately: "Did you see STAR WARS? It was very accurate."

Glad to Help

Checking the old "stats" again. I am happy to say that someone found this "blog" by asking Google the question "Are music boxes creepy?"

Sheriff Guy Statue

I know I promised to find out why the guy who played the sheriff in WHEN MICHAEL CALLS has a statue dedicated to him... and I always keep my promises, though I believe you are still waiting for that definition of West Indies Salad I said I would give you in 2006. The name of the guy who played the sheriff in WHEN MICHAEL CALLS was Al Waxman, and he was a tireless philanthropist. And now let me be like my students and quote exclusively from wikipedia (Ha ha ha! Just kidding, students! You're great!): "The Toronto neighbourhood that his starring role in KING OF KENSINGTON made famous, Kensington Market, erected a memorial to Waxman following his death." So, yes, I guess he was in a Canadian TV show called KING OF KENSINGTON. His character's name was Larry King! Why does the statue have red eyes? Look at this person's "blog" for the surprising answer!

Trouble at the Fall Festival

SPOILER ALERT! I guess I will tell you some more about WHEN MICHAEL CALLS, a movie you will never see. But just in case you do, remember I said SPOILER ALERT! So, the aforementioned sheriff is at the Fall Festival but no one else is around. He says something like, "I wonder why nobody else is around." Then he starts dawdling around the empty booths and displays. He drinks some bright orange punch and empties most of his glass back into the punchbowl, which seems like an awful thing to do. He tries to play a jukebox but it doesn't work, and he does a bunch of professional actor pantomime about how mad he is that the jukebox isn't working. Then he hears a voice: "Help me, sheriff! Help me!" It's the same high-pitched weird voice we've heard before WHEN MICHAEL CALLS. So the sheriff naturally climbs some rickety ladder to investigate. Cut to the Fall Festival in full swing. Michael Douglas gets hit in the face with a pie for charity. Twice! Ha ha ha! Everyone has a great time. Then it's time for the pumpkin carving contest. Nobody can find the sheriff, hint hint, so Ben Gazzara is asked to be the judge, which makes no sense, because his daughter is one of the contestants. Anyway, it doesn't matter, as you have already guessed. The blue ribbon for pumpkin carving will soon be the last thing on anyone's mind! All the carved pumpkins are behind a big curtain. "And now we're turning the lights off for a moment," says some old guy who is in charge. "That way we can enjoy the magnificent glow of the carved pumpkins with the candles in them." (I am paraphrasing.) The deputy tugs and tugs on the rope, but the darn curtain won't seem to open all the way. I think you see where this is going! (Hey, when I looked for a picture of the guy who played the sheriff in WHEN MICHAEL CALLS I found out there is a statue of him for some reason! What reason? Leave me alone! I'm too tired to investigate and I have a terrible cold or something so maybe I will look it up for you tomorrow. Why are you still reading this? But anyway, that's crazy, huh? A statue of the guy who played the sheriff in WHEN MICHAEL CALLS.)

Sheriff

So in WHEN MICHAEL CALLS, one character is a caricature of a country sheriff, and he has this actual line of dialogue: "I'm a caricature of a country sheriff."

Some Jack-O'-Lanterns

The Halloween film festival ended with WHEN MICHAEL CALLS, a movie about what happens when Michael calls. Nothing much! It starred Ben Gazzara, and yes, I know what you're thinking: "Ah! Ben Gazzara, the master of horror." It almost rhymes if you pronounce it the way I want you to. Do it! WHEN MICHAEL CALLS had some jack-o'-lanterns in it, I'll say that for it.

The Triumph of Glitter

A French critic referred to a Sun Ra show as "the triumph of glitter and gilded cardboard." He was trying to be mean! But once again, a reviewer trying to be mean has made me happy and enthused about the object of his scorn.

Caramel Apples

Hey, look at this interview with Janet Jackson! She says her guilty pleasure is caramel apples and the last book she read was QUEENPIN by "Blog" Buddy Megan Abbott! I think Ms. Jackson's song "Nasty Boys" would be even better if it had a line like, "Who's that eating those caramel apples? Nasty boys!" Hey, I am "teaching" QUEENPIN in the spring semester. It's almost as if Janet Jackson and I are best friends, wouldn't you agree?

Monolith Is Okay

Such a terrible time I have been giving McNeil about that monolith he loves so much, yet it turns out that Sun Ra loved monoliths too! Why couldn't I just be supportive of my friend's monolith obsession? Why did I need a celebrity monolith spokesman to turn my head around on this? I blame the shallow modern age we live in! The title of Sun Ra's album MONORAILS AND SATELLITES "may refer to the monolith of [2001]," suggests Sun Ra's biographer John F. Szwed, "which Sun Ra elsewhere seems to remember as a monorail, perhaps connecting it with his UFO experience." (Early in the book, Szwed quotes Sun Ra on that subject: "First thing I saw was something like a rail, a long rail of railroad track coming out of the sky.")

Help Wanted

"The French have Jerry Lewis." That's how an article about Sylvia Plath (!) begins in today's New York Times. Ha ha ha! Ho Ho ho! Shut up! I told you to shut up about this, New York Times. You need an editor there whose only job is to search out and delete that hoary "insight." I'm available!

Mysteries of Life

I've been checking out the "blog stats" again. Robins are still in the lead! But you know what was really popular today? "Click" here to find out! I barely remember it, have no substantial idea why I "posted" it and NO INKLING how anyone could find via my "blog" - it has no title and I wrote nothing to go with it, so how would anyone even begin to search for or discover it here? I guess it's one of those mysteries of life they always tell us about. Hey, here's another one! McNeil sends a news article about a kid who was hit by a meteorite traveling 30,000 miles per hour. "A red hot, pea-sized piece of rock then hit his hand before bouncing off and causing a foot wide crater in the ground." He's okay, folks! It's from June 2009, but that's the kind of news that never goes out of style. Speaking of miraculous things, Dr. Theresa and I just strolled by Square Books and saw a big stack of Barry Hannah's final collection: LONG, LAST, HAPPY: NEW AND SELECTED STORIES. What are you waiting for? Go get it! It has bright blue endpapers he would have loved. There are jets on them.

Say No to Asteroids

There is a big anti-asteroid editorial in the New York Times today. There really is! It is full of sentences like "A decade or so ahead of an expected impact, we would need to ram a hunk of copper or lead into an asteroid in order to slightly change its velocity." The guy also keeps hinting that we will all be wiped out by an asteroid if we don't do what he says.

Heads Up

The heads are coming! I am speaking of course of McSweeney's issue #36, which is in a box meant to resemble a head. Here is a look at a sample head, just back from the printer. I don't have my head yet, but I hear that heads are on the way. Do you see that book, slightly bent, near the front of the head? I believe (because of the big letters "MO" I can make out) it is my contribution to the issue - an 85-page "abridged novel" called JUNGLE GERONIMO IN GAY PAREE. I am happy to reiterate that JUNGLE GERONIMO IN GAY PAREE is beautifully illustrated, inside and out, by Michael Kupperman. Finally I will say that I chose L. P. Eaves as the pseudonym under which I wrote it. Only later, thanks to his hilarious piece in the most recent Oxford American, did I discover that Michael Kupperman sometimes uses the pen name P. Revess. The two names seem similar to me! But it was just a happy coincidence. And now I wish you a pleasant evening.

Walkman No More

I hear from DJ Gnosis that the Sony Walkman - a portable cassette playing device, for you youngsters - has officially ceased to exist. Ah, memories. Like the time the band I was in with Jon Host played at Spring Hill College in Mobile. We emptied a huge room of people with our long, annoyingly repetitive musical tribute to the history of the Walkman, which at that time had just celebrated its 10th anniversary. Gosh, everyone hated us so.

Sun Ra Cures Norman Mailer's Cold

According to this Sun Ra book I am reading, Norman Mailer once went to see Sun Ra play. He didn't much care for the music, but it cured his cold!

Elephants Use Tools!

I guess everybody knows this already, but elephants use tools! Dr. Theresa was watching a PBS show about crows. I was lying there half-listening and reading my Sun Ra biography. Anyhow, this young biologist on the TV casually drops the fact that chimpanzees, crows, and elephants are the only animals (besides people, he forgot to say) who use tools. I have mentioned the fact that crows use tools on this "blog" before. But elephants? What kind of tools do they use? I'm too tired to look it up. Seems like something I should have been informed about before.

A Good Thought About Peach Pie

From that Sun Ra bio I am reading: "Long before minimalism, 'Sonny gave his drummers long solos,' said Lucious Randolph, 'and sometimes asked them to play the same thing over and over until you could hear something else in it. You'd ask him, "How long is this going to go on?" and Sonny would answer, "I'm trying to tell you something else... like, if you keep eating peach pie every day, [sooner or later] it's going to taste like something else."'"

Most People Want Pictures of Robins

This "blogging" "web" site that "hosts" my "blog" has a humbling new feature called "Stats." Or maybe the "Stats" feature has always been here and I have never noticed. But now I have noticed. And here is what I have noticed. BY FAR the most people who visit this "blog" are looking for pictures of robins. WHAT? Some other favorite search terms that have led people here: "where can I find a ninja blender" and "huge acorn."

Revenge of "Blog"danovich

Hey, remember December 5, 2006? Brian Z. does! And with good reason! That's when I came up with the hilarious "blogging" name Peter "Blog"danovich. I am sure all of you remember where you were when you first heard the phrase "Peter 'Blog'danovich." I heard it in my brain as I was inventing it with the famed creativity of my effervescent imagination. Well, Brian Z. reports that Peter Bogdanovich has stolen my great idea by starting a "blog" called "Blogdanovich." Here's what Peter Bogdanovich says in his introductory "post": "I had no idea what a blog was. A blob? No, blog!" Ha! Nice try, but playing it coy won't help! You know exactly what you're doing. I deserve half of your money, "Blog"danovich!

Milos Milos! Milos Milos?

The annual Halloween film festival has continued with INCUBUS and PHANTASM, which means that all the movies so far this year have had one-word titles. What does that mean? Shut up! That's what it means. I don't know. All I know is that in INCUBUS, an actor named Milos Milos (pictured, right) plays the incubus. Milos Milos! Sounds like the name of a Mel Brooks character. Does Milos Milos live up to the responsibilities of a title role? Yeah, I don't know about Milos Milos. I do know about PHANTASM, however! It has the world's best theme song, for starters, which goes like this: deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle.