Monday, November 01, 2010

Trouble at the Fall Festival

SPOILER ALERT! I guess I will tell you some more about WHEN MICHAEL CALLS, a movie you will never see. But just in case you do, remember I said SPOILER ALERT! So, the aforementioned sheriff is at the Fall Festival but no one else is around. He says something like, "I wonder why nobody else is around." Then he starts dawdling around the empty booths and displays. He drinks some bright orange punch and empties most of his glass back into the punchbowl, which seems like an awful thing to do. He tries to play a jukebox but it doesn't work, and he does a bunch of professional actor pantomime about how mad he is that the jukebox isn't working. Then he hears a voice: "Help me, sheriff! Help me!" It's the same high-pitched weird voice we've heard before WHEN MICHAEL CALLS. So the sheriff naturally climbs some rickety ladder to investigate. Cut to the Fall Festival in full swing. Michael Douglas gets hit in the face with a pie for charity. Twice! Ha ha ha! Everyone has a great time. Then it's time for the pumpkin carving contest. Nobody can find the sheriff, hint hint, so Ben Gazzara is asked to be the judge, which makes no sense, because his daughter is one of the contestants. Anyway, it doesn't matter, as you have already guessed. The blue ribbon for pumpkin carving will soon be the last thing on anyone's mind! All the carved pumpkins are behind a big curtain. "And now we're turning the lights off for a moment," says some old guy who is in charge. "That way we can enjoy the magnificent glow of the carved pumpkins with the candles in them." (I am paraphrasing.) The deputy tugs and tugs on the rope, but the darn curtain won't seem to open all the way. I think you see where this is going! (Hey, when I looked for a picture of the guy who played the sheriff in WHEN MICHAEL CALLS I found out there is a statue of him for some reason! What reason? Leave me alone! I'm too tired to investigate and I have a terrible cold or something so maybe I will look it up for you tomorrow. Why are you still reading this? But anyway, that's crazy, huh? A statue of the guy who played the sheriff in WHEN MICHAEL CALLS.)