The 80s

Am I really sitting here watching the Burt Reynolds vehicle PATERNITY on one of these here movie channels? Apparently I am! I wonder why. It keeps making me think of AUTHOR! AUTHOR!, though AUTHOR! AUTHOR! is, I suppose, a "goodnatured romp for the whole family" while PATERNITY is somewhat "smutty." How are they alike? Well, they are both terrible comedies from the early 80s set in New York City. Oh! Another thing is that Beverly D'Angelo plays a trumpet teacher, and in one scene she has this kid practicing his trumpet while she sits there smoking a cigarette right next to him. That's how we did it in the 80s! And as Laura Lippman pointed out in her famous "blog" analysis of AUTHOR! AUTHOR!, Pacino did his share of smoking around kids in that one. This is almost all I have to say about PATERNITY. Well, there is a horrible comedy scene where the funny part is that a butcher coughs all over the meat. I am sorry I even told you that! But why should I be the only one to suffer? Two more things and I bid you farewell forever: 1) It turns out that Burt Reynolds is better than Al Pacino at certain things, such as being the star of a terrible light comedy from the early 80s. He has an appealing nonchalance that is appropriate to the task. 2) Some guy named Mike Kellin (pictured) plays a hilarious boat captain. He has a couple of lines and that's it. But man, he brings his A game, like Joanna Moore in NEVER A DULL MOMENT. I admire that work ethic. Here's to the Mike Kellins of the world! (Also starring Elizabeth Ashley of WHEN MICHAEL CALLS.)