Aliens and Vikings and Dragons, Oh My

I saw the first fifteen minutes of a movie last night. I would like to tell you about it. There is this alien played by the guy who took the title role in THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST. And he lands on earth in the time of the Vikings! The Vikings are represented by John Hurt (!) who is an old Viking having a sword fight with his daughter (!!). He wants his daughter to marry some mean Viking and his daughter is like, "No way!" which is why they are having the sword fight, which we join in medias res. The old John Hurt Viking father chops his daughter's arm during the sword fight and then he is like, "I'm sorry! Let me get a sponge." As he is tending to his daughter's wound with a sponge, the mean Viking walks in and announces he has captured the alien. They have the alien tied up outside, and later, when the daughter Viking walks by with a bucket of water (in my hazy memory it is a bucket of water; people in these kinds of movies are always walking around carrying buckets of water from place to place) she glances at the alien and you can tell where that's going! Under interrogation, the alien reveals that he is on earth to FIGHT DRAGONS! As Annette Hanshaw used to say, "That's all."