The Ballad of Hamilton Brownstone III

Mr. Ward says that Orson Bean changed his name from something fancy, "like Hamilton Brownstone III." Then he looked up Orson Bean's real name, and it isn't Hamilton Brownstone III. It's pretty fancy, but it's no Hamilton Brownstone III. We're sticking with Hamilton Brownstone III. Then he said that Orson Bean's father (or uncle? or somebody?) was one of the founders of the ACLU. I enjoy gossiping with Mr. Ward about Orson Bean. We debated about why he changed his fancy name to "Orson Bean." I speculated that it was an "Elvis Costello" type situation. What do I mean by that? Well, think about it! Do I have to do everything around here? Oh, you should have heard us going on and on about Orson Bean. It truly was a delight. This "blog" is going to be all Orson Bean all the time from now on, so get used to it. Most of the stuff we're not going to check for accuracy, because who cares? There isn't anything that Mr. Ward can't tell you about Orson Bean. Remember how mad McNeil was when I wouldn't shut up about Orson Bean? I guess he's singing a different tune now! I guess he's all, "At least I wasn't talking to Mr. Ward!" He is probably like, "And yet I don't want to be left out in the cold! I need to get on this Orson Bean bandwagon while the getting is good!" Powerful advice. How about you? Have Orson Bean questions? Such as "Who is Orson Bean again?" Send them to "Orson Bean Questions" c/o "Writer" Oxford, MS 38655. I will pass them along to Mr. Ward and we'll get to the bottom of everything. And now let's all set aside some time today to contemplate Orson Bean.