Celebrity Spelling Bee

One great thing about all this is I've learned to spell "Strathairn" without even looking.

Everybody Stop Staring At Me!

All day long my own "blog" has been creeping me out because David Strathairn's eyes follow me wherever I go. Not that he's scary by nature. He seems nice. It's just the way his eyes are in the picture. But I couldn't think of anything to "blog" about in order to push his relentlessly staring eyes down below the screen. Then I saw a TV commercial that kind of scares me for similar reasons, and I thought, "Hey! I can 'blog' about that!" It's for a phone, I think, or something like a phone, and the woman in it is very quiet and clean like a terrifying angel of purification, full of a holy and cataclysmic flame of righteousness, and she never says anything, just stares and stares and stares into your soul until you can't take it anymore. It makes me want to buy a phone!

Computers Have Everything

You know how the "internet" is jam packed with stuff and sometimes you accidentally find some of the stuff you never considered but there it is? Well, I just found out that there is a "blog" about nothing but David Strathairn.

Sideman

I can't stop reading about Jim Dickinson. Here is a longer list of his projects than the one I previously gave you. We are talking about a man whose style could accommodate Screamin' Jay Hawkins (below), Freddy Fender & the Texas Tornadoes, Aretha Franklin, Giant Sand, Toots & the Maytals, Cybill Shepherd (?! - left), Sam & Dave, Mudhoney, and Petula Clark, just for starters. And I don't think he'd mind you knowing he played bass on the Rick Dees novelty record Dis-Gorilla! Somebody ought to try to make a more manageable list, which would consist of the few people he didn't play with. Jim Dickinson! Jim Dickinson! His motto was "World boogie is coming." He lived it!

Dickinson Interview

Dent May - local musician, former student, and friend - points us to this really fascinating interview with Jim Dickinson, who just passed away. In it, we learn that he ended up sitting in on "Wild Horses" because the regular pianist refused to play minor chords - ever! And there's lots more of interest, too. (Pictured, one of the many records he played on.)

I Am Sorry I Ever Mentioned Lady Gaga

I am sorry I ever mentioned Lady Gaga. Now Phil has sent me a "link" proving that she is the subject of CIA mind control and a participant in black magic and part of a Masonic plot to take over the world, I think. How could I not tell you? But I just can't make myself "link" to the site because some of the guy's topics (not the ones enumerated above) and conspiracy theories make me too sad and uncomfortable (though - no, because - they are presented in a flip manner) and as you know we don't go for those sad and uncomfortable feelings around here. We bottle them up deep inside, where they belong! But if you are curious, I am sure you could "google" some key phrases (along with the word "vigilant," that would probably help) and learn the truth about Lady Gaga. I'd like to give the guy proper credit but I'm too bummed out. Thanks for driving me crazy, Phil!

Mr. Dickinson on the Couch

Forgive the ad that pops up. From the Maysles Bros. film.

The Great Jim Dickinson

As I have mentioned here before, one crazy thing I will never, ever forget - and which by all rights never should have happened - is singing on the radio with the great and generous Jim Dickinson playing piano. I have just found out that he passed away. Here are some of his amazing "sideman credits." He even performed on the Sun label. He produced a lot of records, too, including one of the greatest - Big Star's Third/Sister Lovers - as well as Theresa's favorite Replacements album. Here's something from the former. Don't be fooled by the subtitles. Though the footage is from earlier days, the music is from Mr. Dickinson's masterpiece.

Be True 32

Here is #32 in our famous series of everyone on the "internet" covering a different Beach Boys song. This one devolves into chaos at one point because everybody gets kind of excited and what's wrong with that?

When Larry Saw Mickey

Larry King saw Mickey Rooney today at Spago! Twitter told me. Thanks, Twitter!

Birds Have It Tough

Remember the bird from yesterday? Well, today a bird got caught in Amanda Stern's house! It's an epidemic. Is that an epidemic? Two things? "Blog" Deputy Rhea recalls the time a bird got "trapped behind a banner" where she worked. Now, she says, there's a ban on banners in her city, but she's not sure if the plight of local birds had anything to do with the banner ban. Maybe it's something aesthetic. I should have called this "post" "Banner Ban Belatedly Benefits Badly Battered Birds." Priceless! But I didn't. In conclusion, birds have it tough but keep going! Good for you, birds.

Literary Matters

Time once again for "Literary Matters." As you know from cruel experience, literary matters are usually a painful chore. But today there are no more than two literary matters, so we can bear it. Plus, they both come via Phil, and therefore are more awesome than the usual literary matters, which is not saying much, but still. 1) Phil sends us what he calls "the greatest book cover ever" and he is correct. But I think it's a periodical. That's it, above. 2) Phil notes the prevalence of "funny American women" in my course materials and says I should have included Dawn Powell. He is right. I love Dawn Powell. Well, I have read only TURN, MAGIC WHEEL, but it was a very good novel and I loved it. But I have turned in my book order and this time it is too late for Dawn Powell. Phil notes that Rory from GILMORE GIRLS loved Dawn Powell, and provides a corroborative "link."

Dargis Doesn't Disappoint

Manohla Dargis strikes again! In today's New York Times she advises a young director to spend "some alone time with a box of Jerry Lewis DVDs." We can always count on her for an appreciative mention of Jerry. Sometimes I think she's the only one over there who cares anymore. If I were to make a 1930s comedy short about Manohla Dargis, I would call it "Man Oh Manohla!" Hey, while I was looking for a picture of Jerry to put with this "post" I found a strange photo (below) of the carpet from THE PATSY, yes, the very carpet McNeil loves so much, his favorite carpet in all the films of Jerry Lewis. Plus some nice pillows! This one's for you, McNeil. It can be your Christmas card for next year! Now start trying to figure out if those are the same pillows from THE BIG MOUTH.

Big Excitement: Bird Excitement

A bird got trapped on the back porch today, so that was exciting. Everything turned out okay in case you were worried.

Oh No! Les Paul Died.

I Am Not Percival Everett

I am teaching I AM NOT SIDNEY POITIER by Percival Everett in the Fall. I just read it. I was surprised to discover that it shares four things in common with my upcoming novel SHUT UP, UGLY: 1) a rufous-sided towhee 2) a character remarking upon the high intelligence of pigs 3) discussion of appropriate phrases to carve on gravestones 4) a character who talks too much and in a fragmented fashion (hence my title; in Mr. Everett's book, the chatty character is Ted Turner, yes, that Ted Turner, one of Mr. Everett's most felicitous creations, I think, and I have read a number (four) of his books. But I am not copying Percival Everett! My book has long been in the hands of my publisher, along with its coincidental towhees, intelligent pigs, and gravestones. I want everyone to understand as much. You know how afraid I am of copying people. Hey, do you want to know what else I am teaching in the Fall? No? Too bad! THE PORTABLE DOROTHY PARKER. GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES by Anita Loos. MATT & BEN by Mindy Kaling and Brenda Withers. THE BRIEF WONDROUS LIFE OF OSCAR WAO by Junot Diaz. BURY ME DEEP by Megan Abbott (I have learned that Barry Hannah will be teaching BURY ME DEEP as well). THE SCHOOL ON HEART'S CONTENT ROAD by Carolyn Chute. SELF-HELP by Lorrie Moore. LAST NIGHT AT THE LOBSTER by Stewart O'Nan. THE OLD MAN AND ME by Elaine Dundy. 100 DEMONS by Lynda Barry. GHOSTS by Cesar Aira. VARIETIES OF DISTURBANCE by Lydia Davis. IN PERSUASION NATION by George Saunders. Gosh! I'm going to be tired. I mean, I'm tired from just typing this.

From Phil With Love

Speaking of mythical creatures, look what Phil sent. Ha ha! I accidentally made Phil sound like a mythical creature. No, it's Bob Hope and some mermaids is what it is. But they have regular legs so I don't know what to tell you. I guess that's the Queen of the Sea or something, and her friends. The fish appear to be upset about the whole deal.

Try to See Things From the Point of View of the Enchanted Pig's Father

Also, Diarmuid's father killed the sorcerer's son - in fact gave him "a mighty, powerful, strong squeeze of his two knees [! - ed.] so that he slew him upon the spot, and becast him under the feet of the staghounds" - BEFORE the sorcerer changed his son into a cropped green pig charged with killing Diarmuid in return, so I guess you can see why the sorcerer was upset and just remember kids, there are two sides to every story, okay?

Then the Wild Boar Rose and Stood, and Rushed Out by the Open Door

I have been looking into this subject of the possibly magical pig because I have nothing else to do with my life. In my recent "post" I called it a "regular boar" but I wasn't too happy with the "link" to the story (a site that gives you ideas for Irish baby names) and just look at this crazy old text I found on the "internet" now. According to it, the pig killed 30 warriors one morning. That's pretty good for a pig! So maybe it had some magic going on after all. Plus Diarmuid was under a spell that said his life would be just exactly as long as the pig's (I think. I sort of skimmed that part). So he could not kill the pig, see? Or he'd die himself. But - SPOILER ALERT! - he did. He killed the pig and the pig killed him, all thanks to the magic spell. If they had left one another alone, I guess they'd both be okay. And isn't that a valuable lesson for all of us? Oh, and dig this: "Then came the steward again with a magic wand of sorcery, and struck his son with that wand so that he made of him a cropped green pig, having neither ears or tail, and he said, 'I conjure thee that thou have the same length of life as Diarmuid O’Duibne, and that it be by thee that he shall fall at last.' Then the wild boar rose and stood, and rushed out by the open door. When Angus heard those spells laid upon thee, he conjured thee never to hunt a swine; and that wild boar is the wild boar of Benn Gulban, and it is not meet for thee to await him upon this hill." (That's from the text "linked" to above.) So it was a pig with no ears and no tail and it used to be a guy, but he got changed into a pig by his evil magical dad. So I'm leaning toward magic again pretty heavily. Yes, I feel safe in saying it was a magic pig. And green! That's some pig, all right. Pictured (above), Charles Nelson Reilly (with friend) as the sorcerer, let's say.