Milk

I had a great glass of milk the other day! I am not a milk drinker. But I was at the Honey Bee Bakery (recently written up in BON APPETIT magazine) here in Oxford, MS, ordering up one of their homemade Pop Tarts, when I saw milk from the local Brown Family Dairy on the menu. I remembered a great article that John T. Edge wrote for the Oxford American, all about the Brown Family Dairy (as in the son of Larry Brown!), so I thought I would throw caution to the wind and drink a glass of milk. It came in a little bottle! And when I opened the bottle, the milk wouldn't pour! Because the cream had risen to the top! So I had to (under Theresa's instruction) put the wrong end of my spoon into the small neck of the bottle and stir the cream around (the bottle was too full to shake up vigorously enough to suit me). Well, I want to tell you people, this milk gives milk a good name. I thought about that glass of milk all day! In related news, my aunt sent us a bunch of pecans from Alabama, and Theresa has made a pecan pie, so I went out and bought a half gallon of Brown Family milk. It looks like I may become a milk drinker at this late stage of life, all thanks to the Brown Family Dairy. What's that? You don't care? Then stop reading "blogs"! If you don't stop now, I will also tell you that Shannon - who both owns the Honey Bee and makes the things you eat there - was "the fireball dancer's roommate" described in a previous "post." And hey, if you drink some Brown Family milk, please be sure to return the bottle. They recycle the bottles, but people haven't been returning them. That puts them in a bind! If you want your good milk, you better return your bottle so there will be something to put it in! Otherwise, everything will be your fault. PS I can't find a "web" site for the Brown Family Dairy, or maybe I'm stupid, or maybe now I love them even more, which I realize makes me an unconscionable old crank, which is why the Lord made "blogs."

"Blog" Advent Calendar for Dec. 17, 2009

Today's advent calendar surprise ("click" here to reveal it) comes to us courtesy of Kelly Hogan, but it came to HER courtesy of Kathleen Judge. So much courtesy!

"Blog" Advent Calendar for Dec. 16, 2009

Enjoy.

A Reasonable Vacation

Kelly Hogan must have a lot of time on her hands these days! She sent a great "link" for you. I will quote the writer of the "link," who explains it very clearly: "In Aug. 2004, the Mrs. and I headed up to Nashville for a little fun and relaxation and while there we decided to do a little exploring to see if we could find the location used by Porter Wagoner for the brilliantly twisted cover photo of his 1966 RCA album The Cold Hard Facts of Life. Having been fascinated with the album cover for well over a decade, this seemed to me like a reasonable way to spend a little vacation time." To read the entire story, keep clicking "NEXT PORTER WAGONER PAGE" at the bottom of each page. The final page is somewhat bawdy, and really a coda, so if you dislike bawdiness, you can skip it without losing any of the story. I am tempted to use a new, non-random illustration (the likes of which I am trying to ban from the "blog" for environmental reasons), especially one of the "brilliantly twisted cover photo" in question, but why not be surprised and delighted when you "click" instead? Hey, look, it turned out to be an album cover anyway. Goodbye.

"Blog" Advent Calendar for Dec. 15, 2009

Every day a new surprise.

"Blog" Advent Calendar for Dec. 14, 2009

Presenting your daily surprise, courtesy of the third annual "blog" advent calendar.

How Hogan Got Her Stang Back

In this exciting true story, Kelly Hogan borrowed a copy of THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN ARM from the library but it "fell under some laundry" and she forgot she had it. Then she got a note from library saying that the DVD was due back the next day. She found it and watched it, and was "bummed that there were no who-played-who credits at the end of the movie, as I wanted particularly to see who played Sparrow." Readers, she discovered that the man was none other than Arnold Stang, and thus enlightened, she "clicked" on a "Google Image" result to find out more about said Arnold Stang. Hold onto your hats, because that image led her here, to this very "blog"! Yes, my friends, the "blog" is becoming the world's great repository of Stang. Hogan, as she concluded in her message, had indeed been "Stanged."

Kate Hudson Is Eugene

Hey, my late friend Eugene played the American journalist in the Fellini film 8 1/2, and I saw in the newspaper today that Kate Hudson is playing a journalist in the musical remake "9" which is coming out soon for some reason. And Kate Hudson is from the United States of America, right? So I think she is playing Eugene in the movie. Somebody tell me how to feel. Rather than the usual random illustration, I will give you an appropriate picture by "Blog" Buddy Kent Osborne, from his comic book THE DAY IS TODAY.

"Blog" Advent Calendar for Dec. 13, 2009

Today's surprise.

The Barber's Little Joke

One of my undergrads turned in - as a supplement to her final paper - a couple of pages photocopied from the New York Herald of 1913. The headline pertinent to the class was "St. Louis Woman With Perfect Foot Wears a No. 2 1-2 Shoe" (don't ask) but what really got my attention was a brief, unrelated story printed in its entirety in the corner of that same page. I will type it up for you now. Please enjoy, bearing in mind that I have never learned to do "paragraph breaks" on the "blog," which accounts for any confusion you may experience: "FACES DEATH IN HANDS OF BARBER - Customer Causes the Arrest of Razor Wielder Thought To Be Insane or Affected by Drugs. - CHICAGO, Ill., Monday.- John Holm, a newspaper man, had one of the closest shaves of his life to-day. He was shaved by Perry E. Hall, a barber, who constantly discussed the ease with which he might cut Holm's throat. Holm, believing the man either insane or affected by drugs, jested with him until the shaving process was ended and then caused his arrest. 'It's a fine day,' Hall remarked as he lathered Holm. 'Yes,' answered Holm. 'And it's a fine edge I have on my razor to-day,' Hall said. He rested the razor on Holm's neck, and then remarked:- 'I could cut your throat without any trouble.' When the shave was finished Holm got a policeman. The barber will be in court to-morrow." The end. Now, do you think it's possible that the barber was making a joke and the newspaperman didn't have a sense of humor? That's it for the barber. But my student included a page from a few days later in 1913, the pertinent story being "With Tiny Feet in No. 1 AA Shoes New York Woman Defies St. Louis." Once again, my real interest lies elsewhere. The headline in the adjoining column screams "CHURCH TO TEACH HYGIENE OF SEX." But best of all is a story I wish I could read, though the bottom of the photocopy leaves off with just the headline and subhead... on second thought, maybe that's enough: ATHENS "RUBE" GIVES UP CONTEST WITH CITY WITS - Casey, Giant Farmer, Calls All Bets Off When He Is Placed on His Head and His Last Coins Are Shaken from His Pockets." The New York Herald from 1913 is my new favorite newspaper!

"Blog" Advent Calendar for Dec. 12, 2009

Every day something new from your humble advent calendar, because that's what an advent calendar is.

Dragon P. I.

I just found a private investigator's business card on the sidewalk! His logo is a dragon!!!!! I was on my way to meet Tom Franklin, and I showed him the card, so he can testify in court if necessary that it is a real thing FOR REAL.

Don't Blame the Poor Aviatrix

There's a commercial that drives me insane and not in a good way. It has this image in it. But every time I try to write a "post" meticulously inventorying everything that is so very wrong about this horrible commercial (as I have quite a few times over the past few weeks), the insanity comes rushing to the foreground and I sound too obviously bitter, irritable and, yes, insane. It's not the aviatrix's fault! She is only doing her job. I suppose to balance things out I should talk about the commercial I like, wherein a cup of coffee and a coat hanger look sad and then a chair and an airplane look happy.

Yore

Hey, I was plinking around on the "internet" (from yesterday's "link" to the Hideout to the fact that Kelly Hogan is playing there tonight to the Bloodshot Records homepage, just "clicking" on "links"!) and I discovered that there are still some CDs for sale that Barry B. and I made back when we had that kids' show on TV in the days of yore. Please note, government: I don't get any money from those CDs, nor am I in league with the good people at Bloodshot Records about selling junk on the "internet." I just want people to be happy!

"Blog" Advent Calendar for Dec. 11, 2009

Every day a new surprise.

Correction

What Phil actually wrote was the much subtler and funnier "Yeah? And your dirt." The "blog" regrets the error.

Both Points of View Are Valid

I know it confuses everyone that sometimes I use completely random pictures to illustrate these "posts" and sometimes I don't. It has also occurred to me that I am facing an uncaring void.

Ha Ha Ha! Wheeeeee!

I sent Phil an email titled "Your Jerky." It had a picture of some beef jerky named after him. He wrote back, "Oh, yeah? Your dirt!" Phil included a retaliatory photo. We were having some fun! We do carry on so with our hilarity and all. Hey, my dirt is inorganic, it says.

Pantalert

Chicago people: Don't forget the annual Hideout Christmas panto! I had nothing to do with it this year, so it should be great. It's on the 17th and 18th. "Click" the "clicker" for details.

I Couldn't Wait to Tell You

Hey, Larry King ran into Brad Pitt today! You can read all about it on twitter. I was going to save this for tomorrow's advent calendar page, but I didn't. Because it's too important!