You know how sometimes you'll be listening to Webern on your "iPod" and all of a sudden you'll think, "Hey! Is anything playing?" You know? And then you have to check your "iPod" to make sure it's working? That's because Webern can be so darn quiet sometimes! And if you're walking down a sidewalk with roaring traffic nearby, forget it! But DON'T turn your "iPod" all the way up, because sometimes Webern likes to throw in a couple of loud notes just to keep you on your toes. You might bust your eardrums, and then you couldn't listen to your "iPod" at all! And besides, what if Webern does stay quiet the whole time, and then the next piece on your "iPod" is "Love Me" by that 50s singer known only as "The Phantom"? Have you heard that soul-chilling yelp he gives at the beginning of that song? He really wants someone to love him! In a scary way! It'll wreck your nerves even at a regular volume. So watch out! That's my tip. Watch out! (Pictured, the comic-strip and move-serial character The Phantom, who, as far as I know, has absolutely nothing to do with the 1950s singer of the same name.)
