Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Olive Garden

Saw this Olive Garden commercial where this grown man says, "It's just like being at the kids' table again!" And he says it with a big smile on his face, like he's proud. Like, "Look at me, I'm a huge diapered baby!" Like, "This is the condition to which I aspire!" Like, "There are no adults anymore!" Like, "The world is so great this way!" Like, "Wheeeeeeeeeeee!" It made me think of that phone commercial where the phone turns the guy into a baffled toddler and what a terrific selling point that is. Oh yeah, and then I saw a phone commercial where a guy texts really hateful things to his friend and neighbor - making fun of his home and his clothing - but he does it for really cheap because his phone has such a great "plan" that comes with it. And as the guy texts, he stands there grinning dumbly at his neighbor, like daring him to object. Really he's like a psychopath. Like, "I don't understand your human emotion." Honestly! It's a monstrous grin. A rictus! And the neighbor says to the crazy guy, quietly, "Look me in the eyes." The actor interjects pathos that the commercial does not acknowledge! There is a plea for humanity buried in there. A plea for humanity that the commercial finds stupid and amusing! The commercial is ON THE SIDE of the jerk with the phone, not on the side of the insulted neighbor. The commercial is like, "Buy this phone so you can be a jerk for cheap!" The commercial is like, "Hooray for jerks!" The commercial is like, "Hooray!" Say, did you know that Tom Franklin and I first met at an Olive Garden? That's a "'Blog' 'Fact'" you can clip and save! Trade with your friends. PS It was Mobile in the 80s, what do you want from us?