So you just know I had to
go back to the university library and see whether they have a UFO section. Do they? AND HOW! Look at this amazing thing I found (above). It is large and floppy with the size and texture of a children's coloring book. But it is no book for children. No, as you can see, it is about HOW TO CONTACT SPACE PEOPLE. Please let me emphasize that the author is not joking. Chapter Ten starts like so: "Well, dear readers, enough of all this. I hope you are convinced by now that I have, and can, communicate at will with flying saucers." When I checked it out, Bob (the librarian) said of the space person on the cover, "Oh! He looks like us... but not." How right Bob was. HOW TO CONTACT SPACE PEOPLE is published by Saucerian Books of Clarksburg, West Virginia
(West Virginia again!) - a small outfit, I would imagine. I also checked out another Saucerian Books publication: JIM MOSELEY'S BOOK OF SAUCER NEWS. Same format as HOW TO CONTACT SPACE PEOPLE, even cheaper paper. I have to say, the UFO section of the library is extremely cold and dark! Some of the lights aren't working. COINCIDENCE? Also in Chapter Ten of HOW TO CONTACT SPACE PEOPLE, we find the author's illustration of his space friends "Twitter and Tweeter." COINCIDENCE? Or could
the "twitter" we all enjoy today be a conspiracy from outer space? The answer is obvious. Oh, and don't think I neglected the old-fashioned magic and ghosts section. I came across an odd publication there with a plain white cover, black type. It purported to be "Extracts from 44 Recorded Tapes" of a medium channeling various spirits. No publication information at all! But an address of a psychic center in
Wisconsin and a PHONE NUMBER! I called the number (just to see whether the psychic center is still there, and how a psychic center would answer the phone, I guess) and it was some poor old lady's house! And I woke that lady up from
a nap! And I felt really terrible. The phone rang and rang and rang and rang and rang, no answering machine or voicemail or anything, and finally she picked up. I said I had the wrong number. She said, "I'm sorry, I can't hear you very well. I just woke up. This is _________." And she was one of the people credited on the book cover with transcribing the ghost tapes! I said, "I am so sorry, I have the wrong number. I'm sorry I disturbed your nap." And she said, "I just sit here and watch the world go by." That's what she said! You can imagine my strange stirring of sad emotions. But anyway, according to this book, do you know how the great
blues singer Bessie Smith spends her time in heaven? Psychically communicating with
a cat! Among other people from the "other side," we get messages from Thomas Jefferson, Gandhi,
Chopin, "Bimbo the
Clown," and...
Lionel Barrymore. So that's weird.
