WARNING: The following "post" contains a dangerous concentration of vitriol and bile! You know that's not the way we usually roll at the "blog," but we are so grateful to have another episode of Dr. "M.'s" TV Korner that we're going to let the doc get it all off her chest and try to censor with a light touch if we can. SECONDARY WARNING: For those with a tendency toward eye strain, please note that we have not yet mastered paragraph breaks, though we are still trying, sort of, not really. And now, we turn it over to Dr. "M.," who writes: "First off, I must recommend HEROES to you and Theresa. [The Farmer] and I have been watching season 1 in prep for season 2, which will feature a guest arc from...wait for it...our girl, Kristen Bell. Did you see her [on Emmy] night? What a lovely lady she is. Hubba hubba I would even say if I was into objectifying women. [Please note, this is still Dr. "M." writing, and she is a woman so maybe it is okay for her to dance around such tendencies - ed.] In any case, HEROES is nicely satisfying my craving for LOST-like suspense and intrigue. Here goes...Are you sure you are ready? The Emmys were a sore disappointment except for the final award and the moment when Steve Carrell ran on stage to accept Ricky Gervais' award. I mean, Sally Field over Edie Falco? Are you kidding me? And James Spader over James Gandolfini? Egregious, blasphemy, etc. [More rage has been deleted here, but on the same subjects - ed.] I didn't like the stage set-up; I didn't like Ryan Seacrest and his incessant clapping together of the hands; I didn't like Katherine Heigel saying she had worked her a** off. Honey, until you are Robert Duvall's age and still acting and winning awards, you don't get to say that. I DID like Locke's (Terry O'Quinn's) pink shirt and sparkly tie. A bold but effective choice. I never liked Everybody Loves Raymond, and both Ray Romano and Brad Garrett reminded me of why. [Here we differ with Dr. "M.," though at the "blog" we have always marveled at - and sort of felt awful about - the horrific portrayal of inner-family damage, abuse, and neglect on RAYMOND, which is really of Eugene O'Neill proportions, though we still think Romano and Garrett are talented and funny - ed.] I love 30 Rock and am so glad it got the recognition it deserves. I love Ricky Gervais and EXTRAS and am so glad he got the recognition he deserves. I think America Ferrera is a class act. * **** Sally Field ** *** ********--have you ******* ****** ************, Sally? If you forget what you memorized, then just make something else up. Sheesh." Here Dr. "M.'s" ruminations come to an abrupt end. (Two final notes: We agree with those asterisks, Dr. "M."! Also, this is the second time we have run across the word "sheesh" in the past couple of days. That's funny! It's a word you don't see in print that often, or hear out loud, either, for that matter. The other sheesh was in THE BRAINDEAD MEGAPHONE by occasional "blog" contact and reluctant - indeed unaware - "blog" guru George Saunders. No, I have not given up on THE DEATH AND LIFE OF GREAT AMERICAN CITIES already! I am not daunted! I am no pushover! Besides, the author, Jane Jacobs, manages to be breezy and authoritative at the same time somehow. But these sparkling Saunders essays - can't I think of a better word than sparkling? Well, not right now, but I know there is one and I guess that counts for something - make for a refreshing break. Though "break" implies an ephemeral quality, while the essays are many-faceted and built to last. If you want to know how to write a short story, you can hardly do better than read Saunders's appreciation and analysis of "The School" by Donald Barthleme. It's too late for me - I'm hopelessly lost and corrupted as a "writer" - but maybe you will get some good out of it! In fact I know you will!)
