News of the World

Hey, guess who just signed up to teach at Emory University? This guy right here! That means he's a lucky man, because he'll be rubbing elbows with my wife Theresa Starkey, who's teaching a class there this Spring. It's a class she designed, called "The Woman on the Scaffold." All you punks hurry and sign up early! It's going to be a good one. Theresa's class is going to cover ax murders and Superbowl halftime shows and everything, I can say no more. As for Mr. Rushdie, I wonder if he has a "blog"! If so, we're sure to become the best of "buds."