Mercy

Remember Jeff McNeil's plan to punish his child through a dose of Jerry Lewis? It didn't work out as planned. His daughter's counterattack, prior to the viewing, was simply to read him the back of the video box. According to McNeil, the performance began with deadpan sarcasm as she intoned the all-cap headline: "JERRY LEWIS GOES BONKERS IN A LAUGH-A-MINUTE DELIGHT." So it went for a few paragraphs. When she got to this part, however - "Lewis plays 10 various roles, including a 6-year-old boy, a 15th-century coachman, a southern sheriff and a bearded guru" - the unfortunate girl cracked. By the end of the litany, she was reportedly near to tears. McNeil relented. A wise man. She'll find Jerry when she's ready, like all of us.