Monday, July 23, 2007


I was talking to this guy at a party and it turns out he's part of a club that participates in "unsanctioned" bicycle races. There is, apparently, a subculture of vegan bicyclists and another subculture of bicyclists who eat a lot of meat on purpose before every race just to get on the nerves of their rival faction. And that's just the tip of the iceberg, people. You all probably knew about this already because I'm an old man. I hardly know about anything unsanctioned anymore. I thought my brother in Hollywood could make a TV show out of it but he hasn't called back. Oh yeah, and they drink a lot. Sometimes that's part of the race. They ride "fixed gear" bicycles, whatever that means. For a long time I thought the guy was saying "fifth year" bicycles. But he wasn't. That's how old and deaf I am. And the thought of the drunken, meat-swollen unsanctioned bicycle races alarmed me and roused my aged curiosity in that seedy, vicarious way we elderly folk have about us. For more about unsanctioned bicycle races, visit your local library.