Oppenheim to McNeil: Drop Dead!

This just in: A cruel missive from Phil Oppenheim, dashing McNeil's hopes for an Oppenheim T-shirt. "For my birthday a couple of years ago," writes Oppenheim, "my lovely wife created a Phil Oppenheim Fan Club kit and mailed it to the house. Its contents included a membership card, a certificate, several refrigerator magnets -- and two t-shirts with 'The Phil Oppenheim Fan Club' and an appropriate (though not Jerry-Lewis-esque enough for your taste) caricature of my kisser emblazoned upon it. I have one shirt, and [Oppenheim's wife] the other. Your acquaintance 'McNeil' may beg for one, but I can assure you that he won't be getting one any time soon. It's also probably for the best if we were never to meet." Ouch! We can only observe that this missive, cruel though it may be, does validate McNeil's theory - stated in the first "link" above - that Oppenheim would wear a T-shirt with his own face on it.