Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Foster Brooks Robot Induces Feelings of Despair in Delicate Little Specimen

NOTE TO "BLOG" NEWCOMERS: The "blog" is a happy place! Looking back over this "post" before pressing the "publish" button, I think perhaps it does not seem "happy"! Do not let that sour you on the "blog." In fact, if you are new to the "blog," just skip this one! Thanks! Happy! Late last night - don't ask me why! - I started fondly reminiscing about the Foster Brooks robot that Mr. Ward and I once admired at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. I believe the year was 1994. The robot clanked its mouth up and down in a lackadaisical fashion, hardly bothering to match up with the scratchy phonograph recording of a live Foster Brooks show. The robot was sitting at a little table, as if enjoying an aperitif in a cafe. So the laugh track seemed out of place. So did the robot, I guess. Well, children, I am here to inform you that there are NO - that's ZERO - "Google Images" of the Foster Brooks robot! And there are only five references to the phrase "Foster Brooks Robot" on the entire "internet"! (There are six now! Take that, you forgetful youth of America!) Here is one of them. ("Click" on it, please.) The Foster Brooks robot is like the Nedra Harrison of robots! Neglected by our culture! Why does the lack of Foster Brooks robot information depress me? Probably because it's my 45th birthday. (So can everybody please stop calling me a "young writer" now? Thanks in advance!) Boo hoo hoo! Poor me. What a sniveling wretch! Listen up, you little twerps. Foster Brooks was a comedian who pretended to be a drunkard. That was his whole act. If Andy Kaufman had done it, I suppose it would have been performance art. Yes, I know, you don't know who Andy Kaufman is, either. FINE! If I wanted to make myself feel better, I could "Google Search" for "animatronic Foster Brooks" or something. But maybe I don't want to feel better!