Monday, July 28, 2008

Dr. "M.'s" Yak

Ha ha! Dr. "M." does not really own a yak! But wouldn't that be something? No, "Yak" stands for "Young Adult Korner," in keeping with our hilarious practice of spelling "corner" with a "K." Ah, Dr. "M."! Our TV critic, food expert, and palimpsest aficionado! It seems she has taken up reading "Young Adult" novels, adding a new layer of authority to her "blog" presence. Now, you know I have a problem with "YA novels," stemming from the fact that I have been perversely and incorrectly designated a "YA writer" by Publishers Weekly for no reason whatsoever and they don't even care no matter how many times I email them through a blur of tears. So my dander rises when I hear the term "Young Adult"! There is also the fact that being an old adult, I hardly have time for my old adult activities, much less any side trips into whatever it is that young adults do to pass the time. The idea does not appeal to me much, I confess! I blanched at the thought of reading Harry Potter, and resisted that whole phenomenon quite easily, though I knew many trusted and intelligent non-young adults who read and enjoyed those books. The thought of it still puzzles me! Then again, I watched the Gilmore Girls every Tuesday without fail so I have no room to talk. And then there are my Jimmy Olsen comic books. I'm getting around to the point, which is that Dr. "M." recommends a "YA novel" called TWILIGHT. She says: "I read Twilight over the last couple of days, and I think I felt flush throughout most of it. Whew! While I doubt Twilight is as good as Faulkner's vampire story," she continues, "it does make for an indulgent diversion!" I had never heard of the book before Dr. "M.'s" email, so I did some "Googling" and found out something surprising. According to the New York Times, the author wrote the book "in a flash after she had a dream about the characters, who then inhabited her mind and dictated the novels to her." See, I want some of that! Why can't things come to me in a dream, like they do for everybody else? All I ever dream about is Leonard Maltin. About the "YA" TWILIGHT, all I can say is, if I ever were to read a "YA novel" it would be because Dr. "M." recommended it. She is trustworthy and true blue! In the meantime, I CAN personally recommend TWILIGHT, the old adult novel by William Gay, if you like gothic, necrotic literary thrillers about mad undertakers who are a little too "into" their work. William Gay's TWILIGHT does feature two young or young adult protagonists beset by terrible grisliness but you would be crazy to let your young adult read it. Finally I will remark that the Dalai Lama eats yak meat. I base this on his autobiography, which I read a long time ago. But according to my recollection, the Dalai Lama is not a vegetarian! He tried for a spell, after seeing something bad happen to a chicken, but he got sick while on his all-vegetable diet and had to start eating meat again. Growing up in Tibet, vegetarianism is not an option. There are hardly any vegetables! Yak is a staple! I should really do some research before making such assertions, but this is a "blog" and nothing matters. Well, hold on, let me grab the book. I'm throwing around guff about the Dalai Lama, after all. Okay. Here's what the Dalai Lama says: "I was instructed by my doctors that not only must I take less greasy food, cut out nuts and reduce my consumption of milk, but also I must start eating meat again... so reluctantly I returned to being non-vegetarian. Today I eat meat except on special occasions required by my spiritual practice." This sort of ties in with the "YA novel" TWILIGHT, which is, as I understand it, about vampires who have given up human blood. Anyway, I bet you thought the Dalai Lama was a vegetarian! That'll teach you to question the "blog."