Why Can't I Be More Like Jon Host?

I suppose you'd all prefer it if I were more like Jon Host, and only deigned to "blog" whenever my brother fell off a tractor. Well, I'm sorry I'm not Jon Host! But if that's the way you want it, fine. I have to warn you, my brother is not likely to fall off a tractor. And you'll be all, "Boo hoo hoo! Where's the 'blog'!?" And I'll be like, "Whatever." I'll be like, "Sorry, I'm waiting for my brother to fall off a tractor." And you'll be all, "Please, Jack! I need an update on the Foster Brooks robot!" And I'll just look at my watch like I'm thinking about something else. I don't have a watch, but I plan to get one for just such an occasion. I hope you're happy!