I hate to tell you this, but it is time for more "Literary Matters." There are only three, so hold your nose and try to read them all at once. It hurts less that way. 1) I see that is has been officially announced that I am to have a monthly column in THE BELIEVER magazine. I can't believe it! Someone has made a huge mistake. Even more exciting is the fact that Megan Abbott also has an article in the issue containing my debut. 2) I was over at Square Books getting coffee a few days ago, and they had a poster in the window with a quotation from Ernest Hemingway: "All you have to do is write one true sentence." And I was like, "Wow! Really? That's all?" So I went home and wrote one true sentence - it took me about five seconds - but nothing has happened yet so I'm not sure what he's talking about. 3) Jamie Kornegay, one of the owners of Turnrow Books in Greenwood, MS (which makes this a literary matter), told me a story about a monkey biting Jerry Lewis. So I started looking for a picture of Jerry Lewis and a monkey to top the other pictures of Jerry Lewis and a monkey I have shown you in the past (not to be confused with the picture of Lewis impersonator Sammy Petrillo and a monkey). But eventually I got bored and deleted the uncompleted "post." Sometimes I question my existence! This comic book cover (above) kept popping up as I did my "research," though as you can see it is Captain Comet (which also makes this a literary matter) and a gorilla, not Jerry Lewis and a monkey. Thank you. These have been your literary matters for today. PS: I know that all the monkeys in the Jerry pictures are actually chimpanzees and that chimpanzees are not monkeys and for the last time I don't care.
