Monday, December 11, 2006

Anonymous Department Store Imbroglio

It seems that our recent investigation of modern corporate practices has inspired a grateful nation. We have received a report from the father of an anonymous friend of the "blog." Twenty-five years ago, when this man was first employed at a certain department store, he was required to chant, with his fellow salesmen, every morning: "Alligator, alligator, sis-boom-bah! We are salesmen, rah rah rah!" He describes this practice as a demeaning and demoralizing spirit-breaker designed by "the man" to "get him down." Twenty-five years later he finds himself working again for the same department store. These days, grown men and women are required to attend "morning meetings" where they crawl around on the floor in thrown-together "scavenger hunts." The "winner" receives a dollar, or a candy bar. Such are the times we live in! Perilous! This has been one in a series of reports on these strange modern times we find ourselves living in today. The words of Jerry Lewis leap to mind.