Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Cigarette Holders 4 and 5

No sooner do we declare our intention NOT to look for men with cigarette holders than the universe begins littering our path with them. Isn't that always the way with cigarette holders? I couldn't sleep last night. I turned on the television and happened to flip directly to a documentary about Hunter S. Thompson, particularly the way he has been portrayed on film. And what did I see but Bill Murray, as Thompson, with a cigarette holder and no shirt. There followed a few stills of Murray with cigarette holder. Then a clip of him doing push-ups with a cigarette holder in his mouth. There was also a clip of a woman holding a donut in a napkin, but I want to make it clear that I'm under absolutely NO SICK MENTAL OBLIGATION to report every donut I see. Just cigarette holders. Specifically, men with cigarette holders. We're not getting Auntie Mame and Cruella deVille into this or I'd never stop "blogging." And that became the fear last night, of course. By the time I saw Bill Murray in a life jacket, lei, and cigarette holder combo, I started freaking out. I had to change channels. I had only been watching the show for about five minutes and I could already imagine the horribly long "post" I would be forced through my various compulsions to write. But then, like William Shatner peeking out the airplane window in that TWILIGHT ZONE episode, I was compelled to flip back. And there was Johnny Depp grinning at me, a cigarette holder clenched in his choppers. I did not see Hunter S. Thompson himself with a cigarette holder, thank God. There was a photo of him with a pipe in his mouth, the bowl of which had been fashioned into a skull. But that doesn't count. I flipped away before any other cigarette holders could be viewed.