Thursday, May 10, 2007

Mr. Ward's Presidential Korner 3

Last night, chagrined over the ugly turn taken by his ongoing feature on the "blog," Mr. Ward determined to think up some presidential tidbits that won't make everyone gag for a change. Some of them came forth unbidden, from that spot in Mr. Ward's brain where he hoards presidential trivia. "But in perusing my library last night," writes Mr. Ward, "I picked up a few more items from Wackiest White House Pets by Gibbs Davis (2004), Smithsonian Presidents and First Ladies by Barbera James and Amy Pastan (2002)... and the holy grail of useless presidential info... Facts about the Presidents from Washington to Johnson by Joseph Nathan Kane (1964)." Here, then, the fruits of Mr. Ward's labors: "James Monroe was the first president to ride a steamboat. William Howard Taft liked milk so much that he brought his own cow to the White House. The cow's name was Mooly Wolly. James Buchanan liked to give sauerkraut and mashed potato parties. Gerald R. Ford once worked as a fashion model. Ford was a model for Cosmopolitan and Look magazines in the 1940's. Dwight Eisenhower enjoyed painting pictures but wasn't able to draw, so he had someone else draw the pictures he painted. Calvin Coolidge loved having his head rubbed with Vaseline while he ate breakfast in bed. James Madison was the first President to regularly wear trousers instead of knee breeches. Ulysses S. Grant favorite breakfast was a cucumber soaked in vinegar. Warren Harding had the largest feet of any President. He wore size 14 shoes. Richard Nixon once worked at a game booth at the Slippery Gulch Rodeo. Andrew Jackson had a pet parrot named Poll. The parrot screamed curse words at his funeral." Easy, Mr. Ward! Save some tidbits for next time!