I Was Right

I read a book in a single day. I can't remember the last time I did that. It was Jeanette Winterson's new book of ghost stories, and so it made perfect reading for Christmas Eve. I said to myself when I opened it, "This book is going to have an owl in it," and I was right.

Narrative Implications

The doctor is making me exercise, so I made myself a little exercise playlist to which I can march around like a big strong he-man. One of the selections on my playlist is "Hollywood Swinging" by Kool & the Gang. Never before have I paid such attention to the lyrics as I have while my body marches around, leaving my mind a total blank, except for the song lyrics imprinting themselves on my smooth, round brain. Imagine my astonishment when I heard Kool & the Gang singing (I may be paraphrasing a little, but I don't think so) "I remember not too long ago, I went to the theater and saw a Kool & the Gang show." I was immediately reminded of the narrative implications of the song "Truck Driving Man" ("click" here for vital details), as well as the reality-bending musical choices in the films EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE, G. I. BLUES, and DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN (once again, please "click" here for deeper insights).

A Dilly

In the course of everyday email communications, McNeil happened to mention that he was under the impression I had once met Phyllis Diller. I was sad to tell him that he was mistaken. In response, McNeil wrote, "You lied to me." His implication was that I had previously misled him with some sort of fanciful prevarication detailing a purely imaginary meeting with Phyllis Diller. I replied that there was no way I would ever lie to him about such a thing. I am sure I have never claimed to McNeil, or to anyone else, that I ever had the pleasure of meeting Phyllis Diller. McNeil is now digging through his vast archives, hoping to uncover evidence to the contrary, which, I assure you, does not exist.

Rough Treatment

I see that the Willy Wonka prequel is coming out next week, which reminds me that Pendleton Ward and I were asked to provide a rough treatment for what we might do with that very story. We wrote the treatment, but we never got paid... in fact, as I recall, we were more or less ghosted... talk about rough treatment! But when I saw an ad for the movie, I started laughing, thinking about some of our funny ideas. Our prequel starts out as a sequel. Willy Wonka has handed over the factory to Charlie Bucket and blasted off to live his new life on the surface of the sun. I can't remember why! Anyway, Charlie has a philosophy that is the opposite of Wonka's: he throws open the doors to the factory and kids just swarm everywhere, eating everything in sight. Until! They discover a wall made of everlasting gobstobbers, behind which is entombed Wonka's most shocking and deadly secret. Charlie really wants to find out what's behind the wall. Hundreds of kids lick at it for hours, to no avail. Finally... and this is the part that I wanted to tell you... FINALLY! Charlie enlists a character named "Young Jaws." This is what I'm so happy about. Jaws is the villain from a couple of James Bond movies... you remember his big silver chompers! Maybe I'll attach a photo, which I hardly ever do anymore. Anyway, "Young Jaws" is him as a child, ha ha, that's right, our Willy Wonka prequel is also a prequel to MOONRAKER! As I was saying, Young Jaws is enlisted to bite through the wall of everlasting gobstobbers. Then some other stuff happens that leads to the prequel.

Sorry State

It's the time of year when we come together and assess the state of the "blog." Isn't it? Well, it should be! Look. As you know, I stopped "blogging" in 2016 because I got depressed the day our TV blew up. Year after year, the number of "posts" decreased, satisfyingly, though the "blog" continued to function on a minimalist level, due to routine maintenance requirements, such as telling you every time I read a book with an owl in it. Then, of course, our lives were altered by a famous pandemic, and I was called on by a grateful nation to start "blogging" again to cheer up the world, resulting in the first increase in "blogging" activity since our TV began to smoke during a viewing of Bob Hope in I'LL TAKE SWEDEN. After those heady times, whatever that means, of 2020, the "blog" began to sink back into the mire, where it belonged. That is why it is so sad to report that after a second, post-pandemic pattern of steady decline, the number of "posts" unexpectedly went up this year, defying the predictions of our greatest scientists and thinkers. What is to blame for this disheartening development? We cannot say it is only because I encountered a record-breaking (?) FIVE books with owls in them in November alone. For who can forget the owl drought that preceded such bounty? No, it's all because I quit social media in late 2022. Unless this is social media. Is this social media? In short, my fingers had grown too used to typing and could not be stopped. For the record, we reached the tipping point during McNeil's reflection on the first time he saw a liter bottle of Coca-Cola.

The Smiling Accusation

Look, I've fulfilled my duty 100% by telling you about the character in THE SCARLET RUSE by John D. MacDonald who says "I look like a big goggly owl." Yes, a subsequent owl has appeared in the text, but our contract states that I am under no obligation to tell you about it. HOWEVER! It's the same character talking about owls again. This time, she is with Travis McGee's sidekick, who she says is "smiling at me like some kind of owl." She must have owls on the brain. Unlike me. NOW! Over the years, we have collected here quite a trove of owl imagery, and owls have been accused of a lot of weird things by authors of varying insight and ability, but as I search the files, I cannot find a previous example in our catalog of anyone ever thinking of an owl as smiling. I am ready to be corrected! In any case, you can see why I had to attach this footnote. We are constantly making new discoveries in the area of literary owl usage.

Sooner Than I Expected

Well, given that Barbra Streisand was in a movie called THE OWL AND THE PUSSYCAT (not to be confused with the poem of the same name), I sort of knew that her autobiography would have an owl in it. It's so incredibly long, the book is, that it probably has everything in it! Something on her honeymoon with Elliott Gould reminds her (here, far in the future) of her movie THE OWL AND THE PUSSYCAT. To be clear, the movie came out many years after her honeymoon with Elliott Gould, so I was not expecting that particular owl to appear so soon. But I knew it was coming! Some day I'll remember why I tell you every time I read a book with an owl in it. Was I proving a point?

The Sleep of Swamp Thing

Someone (I hesitate to say who or why, though the details are interesting!) kindly made a present to me of the complete SWAMP THING comic books by Alan Moore. So, I was going through those, and what do you know? Jason Blood came to town. You may know him better as the superhero/demon called, fittingly enough, "The Demon." Well, first thing he does is stop at the local freaky magic occult shop and pick up a copy of Goya's "The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters" to hang on the wall in his bachelor pad. (Sometimes translated as "The Dream of Reason Produces Monsters"... either way, whatever it is is producing monsters.) So I'm squinting at this piece of art as represented in this here comic book... let me tell you something. I stopped reading comic books when they still cost 25 cents. Now, later on, in the 1980s, for example, when these SWAMP THING comics by Alan Moore came out, well, they really started cramming a lot of visual information on a page. Too much, I say. It's kind of taxing! So I'm squinting at this postage-stamp-sized fragment of "The Sleep of Reason" on this chaotic field of shape and color and I'm like, that's an owl, right? Because, if so, that's very important to me. So I had to look up the real thing on the "internet" just to make sure, and then I looked back at the comic book panel for comparison, and yes, okay, that was an owl I was looking at.

My Problems

Let me tell you about my problems. I went to visit my parents. That's not a problem! But practically as I was walking out the door, I realized I had not brought a book to read. Now, I didn't want to bring this Lydia Davis book, because I was almost finished with it, and I didn't want to finish it down there on the Gulf Coast and be sitting around with nothing to read. Nor did I wish to bring the next entry in the 2-person book club, because it is a real whopper, almost exactly as long as the unabridged ANATOMY OF MELANCHOLY. So I kind of glanced along a shelf in my home office and saw a brittle, used Travis McGee mass-market paperback I purchased for money in 2014 but never read because even Ace Atkins, the world's biggest Travis McGee fan, had described it to me in what I took to be unflattering terms. And I have a lot of misgivings about Travis McGee to begin with! But somehow it seemed like the perfect thing to take on my trip. So a character in the book describes herself in the following manner: "I look like a big goggly owl." I respect you enough not to belabor the reasons why this is important to the "blog." Furthermore, the character once again confirms Ace's observation that Travis McGee's author especially likes women who are also powerful storybook giants. The description of her devouring an enormous picnic lunch lies somewhere between Rabelais and Lovecraft. As we have seen in the past, Travis McGee fears being eaten by women, though I have never thought to reconcile it with his sexual appreciation of hungry giants.

Funny You Should Mention It

Elizabeth Ito was in town last week, and it was during her visit that we walked around Square Books and I picked up the Lydia Davis book I mentioned in a previous "post," which had an owl in it. The book, not the "post." Well, both had owls in them. Later in the week, I gave Elizabeth a copy of my crummy little book of poems, and she took particular notice of one I based on the first sentence of June Havoc's memoir. Elizabeth said it made her think of the time we had hot dogs, and I said funny you should mention it. Well! Yesterday I was reading the Lydia Davis book and came across a short piece about June Havoc. I thought that was interesting! You don't come across many books with June Havoc in them, unlike owls. As I was typing this, I recalled that June Havoc also appeared in a recent selection of the 2-person book club (more recent than her memoir, which was also part of the 2-person book club and also, of course, had June Havoc in it, as it was her memoir, after all), so, the more I think about it, maybe lots of books have June Havoc in them, so never mind.

Very Small

There is a "very small owl" in this new Lydia Davis book (see also). I bought it (the book, not the owl, though, in a way, I guess I also bought the owl) at Square Books, which I especially want to mention because Lydia Davis has seen fit to make this book available only through independent booksellers and not through that one un-independent bookseller, you know the one. The cover has an egg on it. Well, an egg and a ping-pong ball. I didn't notice the ping-pong ball the first time I looked. If you read the book, you will understand the egg and the ping-pong ball.

Three Times the Owl

As I often do between book-club books, I picked up Ovid and randomly opened to yet another owl: "three times the owl/ Wailed out his cry to warn her." I don't want to say what the owl was upset about, but it was pretty sick stuff. Let's just say the owl had some good reasons! You're once, twice, three times an owl, and I love you, to paraphrase Lionel Richie. Which reminds me: back when I went to Sunday school, some folksy Christian troubadours came by as a special treat one time, and I was mesmerized by a short-haired young woman in a French-style striped shirt (you know, like Jean Seberg in BREATHLESS, basically, though I had not seen it at the time), who strummed her guitar and sang words about Jesus to that Commodores song, as I still remember: "You're once, twice, three times a Savior." That's what we thought was cool!

Look at This Guy

I see this guy every time I "log in" to my health insurance "web" site. I don't know why but something about the stretched-out neck of his t-shirt makes me anxious.

Soup Story

I know I have "blogged" an unusual amount in October for someone who quit "blogging" in 2016, but I had to pop in and say that McNeil and I have spent the morning arguing about soup via email. For more interesting stories about soup, please "click" on the "soup" label at the bottom of the "post." From my understanding, the "mobile" version of the "blog" does not show the labels, and I must say you are really missing out if you read the "blog" on your telephone.

So Much Coke

McNeil just emailed me about where and when he saw his first one-liter bottle of Coca-Cola. "I was amazed. So much Coke!" writes McNeil.

Hearken!

Hearken if you dare to this tale of hubris and madness! That's not what it is. Maybe it's a lesson in patience. Or... you know what? I have no idea. Listen. Just yesterday, I was complaining about how long it had been since I read a book with an owl in it. Now, the current selection of the 2-person book club is FEBRUARY HOUSE. I would tell you what it's about but I'm too tired. Also, there's a wedding anniversary happening over here right now. So I'll just say that yesterday evening... yes! The evening of the same day when I was complaining about my books not having owls in them! Yesterday evening, I was reading about Benjamin Britten and Peter Pears staying in California at the cottage of a couple of pianists... two pianists nicknamed by Britten and Pears... and the nickname given by Benjamin Britten and Peter Pears to these two pianists was... "the little Owls."

Bear With Me

I've been thinking about how long it has been since I read a book with an owl in it, a phenomenon last recorded here in June. Is this the longest time I've ever gone without finding an owl in a book? It's pretty embarrassing for a guy who claims that every book has an owl in it. That's probably why the Elvis movie KISSIN' COUSINS caught my attention yesterday. In it, Jack Albertson enjoys a plate of... and bear with me here, I'm working from memory... owl gizzards, possum tails, vulture eggs, and mashed catfish eyes. It's supposed to be funny because poor people are eating it! It's all they can get, ha ha. Those are just a few of the ingredients, though saying "bear with me" reminds me that "dried bear grease" was another component. I could have sworn there was some reason I started typing this.

McNeil Month by Month

That's right, kids! It's hard to believe, but it's already McNeil's birthday again. Where do the years go? Since the beginning of time, we have celebrated McNeil's birthday by presenting a little review of his "blog" presence throughout the eons. After I permanently quit "blogging" in 2016, as you will recall, we had to occasionally resort to unverifiable emails by which to track McNeil's location month by month. Those entries are marked by asterisks for historians of the future. All right! With that bit of housekeeping out of the way, we are free to enjoy the many fruits of McNeil. September 2006: McNeil contends that he does not enjoy the "Little Dot" comic book. October 2006: McNeil furnishes a memorable quotation. November 2006: McNeil recalls playing Aerosmith on a jukebox. December 2006: First appearance of "McNeil's Movie Korner." January 2007: McNeil's system for winning at craps. February 2007: McNeil doesn't see what's so hard about reading a newspaper and eating a sandwich at the same time. March 2007: McNeil and I are talking about Bob Denver when HE SUDDENLY APPEARS ON TELEVISION! April 2007: Wild turkeys roam McNeil's neighborhood. May 2007: McNeil gets in touch with an Australian reporter regarding a historical chimp. June 2007: First McNeil's Movie Korner Film Festival announced. July 2007: Medicine changes McNeil's taste buds. August 2007: McNeil's trees not producing apples. September 2007: McNeil pinpoints a problem with the "blog." October 2007: McNeil presents a video entitled "Jerry's pre-defecation chills." November 2007: McNeil's Theory of Potential Energy. December 2007: What is McNeil's favorite movie? January 2008: McNeil explains why the wind blows. February 2008: McNeil admires the paintings of Gerhard Richter. March 2008: McNeil comes up with an idea for a Lifetime TV movie. April 2008: McNeil's shirt. May 2008: McNeil's apple tree doing better (see August 2007). June 2008: McNeil is troubled by a man who wants to make clouds in the shape of logos. July 2008: McNeil's apples are doing great. August 2008: McNeil refuses to acknowledge that Goofy wears a hat no matter what I say. September 2008: McNeil's grocery store is permanently out of his favorite margarine. October 2008: McNeil on the space elevator. November 2008: McNeil comes across an incomplete episode guide to HELLO, LARRY. December 2008: McNeil thinks the human hand should have more fingers. January 2009: McNeil discovers that gin and raisins cure arthritis. February 2009: McNeil gets a big bruise on his arm. March 2009: McNeil wants a job on a cruise ship. April 2009: McNeil attempts to rescue a wayward balloon. May 2009: McNeil visits the Frogtown Fair. June 2009: McNeil dreams he is watching an endless production number from LI'L ABNER. July 2009: McNeil sends text messages from his cell phone while watching a Frank Sinatra movie. August 2009: McNeil disagrees philosophically with a comic book cover that shows a mad scientist putting a gorilla's brain in a superhero's body. September 2009: McNeil resembles famed boxing trainer Freddie Roach. October 2009: McNeil wears a surgical mask. November 2009: McNeil reports that a bird broke the large hadron collider by dropping a bread crumb on it. December 2009: McNeil advises me to like the universe or lump it. January 2010: McNeil eats soup. February 2010: McNeil tells of the hidden civilizations living deep beneath the surface of the earth. March 2010: McNeil recalls a carpet of his youth. April 2010: McNeil starts wearing a necktie. May 2010: McNeil's DNA sample fails to yield results. June 2010: McNeil thinks up some improvements for the movie 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. July 2010: McNeil reads to me from I, THE JURY. August 2010: McNeil finds a hair in his crab cake. September 2010: McNeil has a cold. October 2010: McNeil sends a nine-minute clip of a nice old man speaking at a UFO banquet. November 2010: McNeil sits in his car and looks at pictures of Jennifer Jones. December 2010: McNeil fears a ball of fire in the sky. January 2011: McNeil watches DYNASTY. February 2011: McNeil sees clouds that look like guys on horseback. March 2011: McNeil composes a "still life" photograph. April 2011: McNeil is upset when I interrupt his viewing of MATCH GAME. May 2011: McNeil pines for some old curtains. June 2011: McNeil eats Lucky Charms brand breakfast cereal. July 2011: McNeil investigates the history of the Phar-Mor drugstore chain. August 2011: McNeil compares Dean Moriarty to Dean Martin. September 2011: McNeil learns a lesson about pork and beans. October 2011: McNeil finds an article describing Robert Mitchum as "Bing Crosby supersaturated with barbiturates." November 2011: McNeil did nothing in November. December 2011: McNeil discovers scientists creating rainbows in a laboratory. January 2012: McNeil impersonates Paul Lynde. February 2012: McNeil dreams of matches. March 2012: McNeil's Theory of Potential Energy (see November 2007, above) used to chart the influence of Jerry Lewis on Carson McCullers. April 2012: McNeil disturbed by the art in his hotel room. May 2012: McNeil considers grave robbing. June 2012: McNeil's idea for "music television." July 2012: McNeil holds his negative feelings in check out of respect when the man who invented electric football dies. August 2012: McNeil reads me an old obituary of Charlie Callas over the phone. September 2012: McNeil concerned about T.J. Hooker's big meaty hands. October 2012: McNeil eats lunch at Target. November 2012: McNeil loves it when Bob Hope slips on a banana peel. December 2012: McNeil sees rocks that look like squirrels. January 2013: McNeil looks at an old, faded photo of a dog gazing into a Bath and Tile Emporium. February 2013: McNeil watches a video in which a hooded figure talks about "our criminal overlords." March 2013: McNeil wakes up at 6:40 in the evening, momentarily thinks it is 6:40 in the morning. April 2013: McNeil sees a singer who looks just like Bill Clinton. May 2013: McNeil is ashamed of himself for not realizing that Ida Lupino directed some episodes of GILLIGAN'S ISLAND. June 2013: McNeil mails a cashew tree. July 2013: McNeil watches GIDGET GOES HAWAIIAN. August 2013: McNeil recalls being rosy-cheeked. September 2013: A fairyland goes on in McNeil's head. October 2013: McNeil recalls tucking in his t-shirt. November 2013: The cover of a book McNeil buys says it is about Jerry Lewis, but on the inside the book is about Willie Stargell! December 2013: McNeil wants to visit an orgone box factory. January 2014: McNeil did nothing in January. February 2014: McNeil wonders whether Tom Franklin puts his hair in curlers. March 2014: McNeil takes a nap in the car. April 2014: The subject of McNeil pops up in an interview. May 2014: McNeil's emails on the "hollow earth" recalled (see February 2010, above). June 2014: McNeil looks forward to getting drunk and making insensitive remarks as I lie on my deathbed. July 2014: McNeil watches Jim and Henny Backus play themselves in DON'T MAKE WAVES. August 2014: McNeil tells about Robert Mitchum's hangover cure. September 2014: McNeil exaggerates the fate of some owls. October 2014: McNeil is incensed that a candy apple costs eight dollars at the airport. November 2014: McNeil's heart overflows with joy. December 2014: McNeil continues his 7-year chimp investigation (see May 2007, above). January 2015: McNeil listens to a conspiracy theorist who says Jimmy Carter was replaced by a series of robots. February 2015: McNeil recalls doing a report about matches in the eighth grade. March 2015: McNeil takes to bed with the flu! April 2015: McNeil and I establish an amazing psychic link. May 2015: McNeil bitterly recalls the time he brought a John Wayne movie to my apartment and we never watched it. June 2015: McNeil dreams about a bearded Dean Martin. July 2015: McNeil has a disappointing encounter with the Grand Canyon. August 2015: McNeil sees a squirrel holding a stick. September 2015: McNeil is saddened by the news of Dean Jones's death. October 2015: McNeil watches STARFLIGHT: THE PLANE THAT COULDN'T LAND. November 2015: McNeil sends video of Joe Namath making and eating a sandwich. December 2015: A coincidence of the type McNeil especially loves. January 2016: McNeil is in a grocery store and they start playing "I Don't Want to Go to Chelsea" over the speakers! February 2016: McNeil watches Don Rickles eat in a bathroom. March 2016: McNeil is duly thrilled when Megan Abbott goes to see CRACKING UP on the big screen. April 2016: McNeil swallows a gnat. May 2016: McNeil recalls the details of a screenplay we wrote in our twenties. June 2016: Destruction comes to McNeil's apple tree! July 2016: McNeil spots Dabney Coleman in an I DREAM OF JEANNIE rerun. August 2016: McNeil points out that Dean Martin had granddaughters named Pepper, Montana, and Rio. September 2016: McNeil is called a "filthy troglodyte." October 2016: McNeil advises me on what to do now that ADVENTURE TIME has been canceled. "I say take it easy for a while... just pretend to write when Theresa's around and then sleep or watch movies when she leaves. Oh hell, you know how to work it," writes McNeil.* November 2016: McNeil sees an owl while walking his dog at midnight. December 2016: McNeil finds an Airbnb listing by "eccentric millionaires" for a treehouse featuring "whimsical taxidermy."* January 2017: McNeil notices that there are lots of ants in his writing.* February 2017: McNeil roots for the guy who stole a bucket full of gold flakes.* March 2017: McNeil reads an article suggesting that all the gold on Earth came from the collision of dead stars and says, "Let's go get us some of this!" seemingly suggesting a trip to outer space.* April 2017: McNeil recalls that he was washing dishes in 2015 when the thought of Gene Gene the Dancing Machine came into his head. Then he discovered that Gene Gene the Dancing Machine had just died!* May 2017: McNeil watches ISLAND IN THE SKY with his dog.* June 2017: McNeil is happy to see a movie with rotary phones and "people looking up stuff in a filing cabinet for a change."* July 2017: McNeil begins alerting me to weather situations in my area like he's my mother.* August 2017: McNeil connects heavenly signs and portents with the death of Jerry Lewis. September 2017: A critique by McNeil inspires a choice of airplane reading material. October 2017: McNeil cruelly but fairly shuts down my scheme of crossbreeding an apple with a lemon. November 2017: "Death knows my weak spot!" McNeil exclaims.* December 2017: McNeil leafs through CARIBOU TRAVELER. January 2018: McNeil catches a cold and stays in bed watching old game shows, writing from his sickbed: "Bobby Van looks so healthy...but would be dead only 5 years later... GATHER YE ROSEBUDS!"* February 2018: McNeil gives me a good idea about how to win a coupla sawbucks from likely suckers. March 2018: McNeil's complaint about sleeping: "I dream way too much."* April 2018: McNeil watches a movie in which Dean Martin claims to "make a hell of an owl stew."* May 2018: I ask McNeil what lightning is for (see January 2008) and he explains it to me.* June 2018: McNeil's mom stumbles on an old book about the comical dog Marmaduke from McNeil's younger days and is excited to deliver it to him.* July 2018: While walking his dog, McNeil sees a bone fall out of the sky. August 2018: Having made it to season five, McNeil, though a stalwart fan, watches what he considers to be the worst episode of BEWITCHED so far.* September 2018: McNeil finds one page of a history skit we did in ninth grade. October 2018: McNeil emails a still from the silent movie BILLY WHISKERS, the subject of an innocuous, decades-long inside joke. Using me as an intermediary, he also consults Ace Atkins about the little-known film version of DARKER THAN AMBER... set in Florida but filmed, as Ace explains, mostly in Germany!* November 2018: McNeil asks me whether Jack Lemmon was left handed. I don't know.* December 2018: McNeil tells me about deluxe reissues of two Paul McCartney albums I've never heard of.* January 2019: McNeil says he only ever bought one cassette tape in his life. (It was Bruce Springsteen's "The River.")* February 2019: McNeil watches IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD and finds it difficult to believe a hardware store would close that long for lunch.* March 2019: McNeil tells me about a used car dealer in his town who secretly dealt drugs and would use his commercials to let people know a shipment had come in. If this guy's dog was on the hood of his car in the commercial, he was ready to deal some drugs!* April 2019: McNeil is thinking about the Bill James Historical Baseball Abstract.* May 2019: McNeil follows up on an email from 2015.* June 2019: Working on a secret project with McNeil. It never comes to fruition. July 2019: McNeil sees a guy in a parking lot trying unsuccessfully to fit a rolled-up rug in his car.* August 2019: McNeil cuts down his apple tree. September 2019: McNeil remarks that Brendan Gleeson should play Donald Trump... a prediction that recently came true!* October 2019: McNeil is at the dentist's office, where the muted cartoon on the television provides the caption "frightened quacking."* November 2019: McNeil is shirt shopping when he realizes that the age of some of his old shirts makes it likely that any new shirt he buys might be the last shirt he will ever need.* December 2019: McNeil watches the old Frosty the Snowman cartoon and is disappointed that Frosty lets himself get trapped in the hothouse again.* January 2020: There's a new vending machine at McNeil's workplace. It dispenses "gloves, knee pads, safety vests - even socks."* February 2020: A comic book cover McNeil likes. March 2020: McNeil ponders inventing "powdered meat." April 2020: McNeil misremembers an idea we discussed in 2005. May 2020: Something McNeil and I noticed in 2014 comes up. June 2020: McNeil gets seven shots of novacaine.* July 2020: McNeil begins noticing obelisks. August 2020: McNeil goes fishing with Dean Martin in the realm of dreams. September 2020: McNeil finds an article that his grandmother clipped from a newspaper... on the back is an intriguing but incomplete item about murder among circus performers.* October 2020: McNeil tells me about a fusion reactor in France.* November 2020: McNeil has a dream about "the best chocolate milkshakes in the world."* December 2020: McNeil reminisces about fence posts. January 2021: McNeil's fascination with obelisks continues to inspire. February 2021: McNeil's decade-old observation about gin and raisins confirmed by the New York Times. March 2021: McNeil has an idea for a toilet that plays commercials.* April 2021: There's a photo of Jerry Lewis hanging in the breakroom where McNeil works, and he had nothing to do with it!* May 2021: McNeil watches a live feed of a stork's nest. He's pretty sure they're storks.* June 2021: Ernest Borgnine's personality is assessed at "a million watts." McNeil rates him 11 watts at most. July 2021: McNeil watches half of CHANGE OF HABIT and it's not as bad as he remembered.* August 2021: McNeil is envious that the fictional character Travis McGee gets to live on a boat.* September 2021: A guy at work asks McNeil if he has change for a quarter, because he's going to "drop a dime" on McNeil.* October 2021: McNeil and I coincidentally have doctor's appointments ON THE SAME DAY!!!!!!* November 2021: McNeil asks if I remember a song our high school band played at pep ralleys. It goes like this, according to McNeil (direct quotation to follow): "bom, bom, bom, bom-bom....bom, bom, bom, bom-bom....bom, bom, bom, bom-bom.....bom-bom-bom."* December 2021: McNeil dreams about Carol Channing... and within the dream, CAROL CHANNING HERSELF HAS A DREAM!* January 2022: McNeil and I correspond about a place where Eleanor Roosevelt used to live. February 2022: McNeil and I discuss a possible plot for something in which some crooks ask for a $250,000 payoff in quarters.* March 2022: McNeil is concerned about the sexual activities of some birds.* April 2022: Someone in McNeil's breakroom at work is listening to a recording of Jerry Clower, which upsets McNeil.* May 2022: McNeil covets a glowing orb. June 2022: McNeil and I debate whether the Falcon or Thin Man movies qualify as "serials."* July 2022: McNeil visits Albany, NY!* August 2022: I am given reason to recall the time McNeil swallowed a gnat (see the entry for April 2016, above). September 2022: McNeil finds a half-smoked pack of cigarettes that belonged to his grandfather. October 2022: McNeil is thinking about Leo Gorcey and abandoned motels.* November 2022: McNeil worries about 10 billion years that are unaccounted for. December 2022: I email McNeil about Frasier. January 2023: McNeil emails me about Dean Martin. February 2023: McNeil's irresistible influence. March 2023: McNeil's word is as good as gold. April 2023: McNeil's interest in the ubiquity of the Globe Illustrated Shakespeare. May 2023: McNeil has an idea about how a dog could win at blackjack.* (Why I didn't "blog" about this is a complete mystery.) June 2023: I recall that McNeil may or may not have once told me that glass is nothing but a slow-moving liquid. Anyway, it sounds like McNeil. July 2023: McNeil reports on a silver alien ball and a guy rubbing his feet on the silver alien ball. August 2023: McNeil sees some curtains he likes in an obituary. September 2023: McNeil finally remembers the title of a book upon which he presented a book report in middle school. October 2023: 40th anniversary of McNeil recording a Bob Hope double feature.

He Probably Took a Nap

Got an email from McNeil, which speaks for itself: "In the spirit of the blog's 17th anniversary, I guess, I feel the need to mention that [today], October 2nd, is the 40th anniversary of the time I recorded a Bob Hope double feature off of WDCA in Washington DC (one of the old superstations maybe?): BOY, DID I GET A WRONG NUMBER! and CALL ME BWANA. [Here, some personal details are redacted by the editors in the name of privacy.] As I was pulling up the TV listings for 10-2-83 to verify the jottings I made in my movie recording notebook 40 years ago (verified!), I noticed that the movie WDCA showed prior (at noon) to WRONG NUMBER was I'LL TAKE SWEDEN! So there was actually a Bob triple feature that day...and, AND, when I looked up I'LL TAKE SWEDEN in the tattered, old movie recording notebook, I noticed that I had already recorded it back April of 83 - yes, off of WDCA (cable ch 20). In the movie recording book that was a double feature with ROAD TO HONG KONG. Was it also part of a triple feature? No! They screwed up and showed HARVEY at 4:00 - a film I've never been able to sit through. So I probably just took a nap."

A Fitting Tribute

Speaking of 2012, I am sure you all recall it as the year McNeil remembered a middle-school book report he did. All he remembered of the book was, quote, "in the first 2 pages or so, the protagonist is waiting in a reception area and lifts the corner of a rug to see what company made it," unquote. So, just the other day, McNeil, not remembering that he had told me about it eleven years ago, repeated this memory in a brand new email... with fascinating additions, as you will see! (He also placed the memory in "7th or 8th grade," which was a slight change from the previous iteration.) Here's McNeil: "I don't know why it popped into my head. It was called 'The Crash of _____.' And the blank is the year, only I can't remember what the year is. I remember the cover. And I remember the opening. A man is waiting in an office for an appointment. As he waits, he notices how nice the carpet is (!). Hahaha....that sticks with me for 45 years! Always the carpet. Anyway, he flips over the corner of the rug to see who makes it so he can invest in the company." A couple of days later, McNeil comes up with the title! THE CRASH OF 2086. He also remembers the name of the class bully who mocked him for picking that book. A bully with intellectual leanings, I guess! Though I don't remember him that way. Anyway, it is so fitting that all this comes together just in time for the 17th anniversary of the "blog." That's right, it all began on September 27, 2006, what an embarrassing nightmare, let's all forget it ever happened.

The Mystery of Food

Now I am sure you all remember how Michael Kupperman told me in 2012 about a series of detective novels written by the actor George Kennedy (pictured, above), in which George Kennedy himself is the detective... or, as I discovered by reading this one that Ace gave me for my birthday, at least the Dr. Watson. Anyhow, I'm not going to tell you what George Kennedy, the author, compares to "Jell-O on a plate," but I will say that he describes the first dead body he comes across as looking like a baked ham. Later in the book we find this beauty: "The moon was now the color of fat on prime roast beef."

He Liked Cats

I heard the sad news from Kent that Joe Matt died. Here he is in Oxford, Mississippi, in 2011. He liked cats! That's Dr. Theresa standing not far behind him, looking at the camera. She also likes cats. He asked me to guess who was the Faulkner of comics and I guessed wrong. So he told me the right answer and then made me sit there and explain to him why it was the right answer. RIP Joe Matt.

The Man Who Read a Book

So! The first two episodes of ADVENTURE TIME: FIONNA AND CAKE came out yesterday. They were good! In the first episode, this character (above) tells Fionna that any plant can be considered a weed, which was something I had read in my book about weeds, as you may recall, and repeated hundreds of times to the delight of the writers room. I don't know if it's true or not, but thanks to my reading, that "fact" made it into the show! One will no doubt be reminded of when my reading of Vance Randolph's OZARK MAGIC AND FOLKLORE contributed, or not, to the original series. Speaking of reading, Megan and I are reading THE MAN WHO SAW A GHOST, which is a biography of Henry Fonda, though nothing about the title would make you guess that. Megan and I have a pretty large bet going on whether the ghost is literal or not. I say it's a metaphor! Because I am always thinking I'm going to get a real ghost, based on the title of a newspaper article or such, and the ghost always turns out to be a metaphor. Now, many of you will fondly recall the time I idly thumbed through THE MAN WHO SAW A GHOST back in 2012, standing in Square Books, and all the excitement it caused at the time. I'll tell you one thing I noticed in this oddly titled biography: there's an epigraph taken from Charles Fort, also the source of an epigraph for MY second book! Megan pulled a fast one, trying to say that it (the epigraph connection) was a ghostly occurrence, but I think I am winning this bet.

Curtains

After reading that Henry James novel I was in the mood for more Henry James! So I started reading his short story "The Figure in the Carpet," in which the narrator says of another character, "she was literally, facially luminous." Speaking of McNeil (he likes carpet), McNeil saw an obituary in the New York Times the other day, and he really admired the curtains in the accompanying photograph (he also likes curtains). I present a snippet of the curtains here, but no more, out of respect for the dead. McNeil also wondered what the deceased (living at the time of the photograph, of course) was holding in his hand. One guess was a toothpick, a guess with which I agreed.

Ice-Cream Technology

I know everyone will be excited to learn that I finished reading this Henry James novel. I skipped almost all of the footnotes, but I am glad I happened to glance at this one: "American ice-cream technology and distribution far surpassed British."

A Genius for Upholstery

"He has a genius for upholstery" is another line of dialogue in this Henry James novel.

Henry James Again

"'I'm a dear little fellow,' said Rosier, earnestly." Henry James again! (Rosier is a grown man.) Love that comma!

Like What

You recall how I used to get inspired all the time by inspirational phrases. Inspire is part of their name! Well, inspir. What was I saying? Megan and I are reading the Philip Glass memoir, and he says, "As long as you know what you're doing, nothing much of interest is going to happen." Another thing I've had a chance to read lately is this Henry James book. "'Henrietta is not delicate!' she exclaimed with a certain bitterness." I just want every sentence in a book to be like that. Like what? I don't know. You can't get inside my head. (See also.)

Here We Are

Well, I stopped "blogging," of course, but I also quit social media, so now I have nothing to do. And occasionally, McNeil will email me about something that reminds me of something else, and you know what? That's a "blog" "post." So it just comes out. Like gravy! That's an ODD COUPLE allusion. Remember in the movie when Oscar tells Felix that he (Oscar) thinks gravy just "comes when you cook the meat"? Oh, Oscar! But that's not why we're here. McNeil sent me a "link" to a news report about a guy who has a silver alien ball from outer space. I'm not going to "link" to it, for valid reasons! But you can easily find out more about the silver alien ball from outer space by googling the guy's name, Jim Marlin, and the word "ball." Or "sphere." The funniest part of the article was "'As I was laying on my back on the floor, I was just mindlessly rubbing my feet on this sphere while I was talking to a friend,' Marlin said." McNeil noted the strangeness in his email, writing, "He was just rubbing the sphere with his foot, like any other Saturday night." Well! The exciting thing was that the article also mentions another family with an alien ball... and I have "blogged" about this other alien ball in the past, thanks to a tip from Lee Durkee. Doubling down on the excitement, McNeil missed that other alien ball when I "blogged" about it in 2015, so it was all new to him! He was like a wide-eyed child in a field of flowers.

Characters

I think you know why I'm here. I'm back to reading Mann's DOCTOR FAUSTUS, and one character calls another character a "crazy hoot-owl."

Long Way to a Short Thing

I'm sure you all remember the Simpsons episode when some fans are asking questions of the people who work on their favorite cartoon, "Itchy and Scratchy." One of the fans observes, "In episode 2F09 when Itchy plays Scratchy’s skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib twice in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones." All right, keep that in mind! So, I recently rewatched TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN, and thought, in the middle of my viewing experience, that it would be a good idea to order a self-published (?) book by an obsessed (?) fan of the show, because it would be fun and interesting to read some theories about the plot and so on. Well, the book came, long after I had finished watching the series again, and I sort of flipped through it, and it was giving me a headache, through no fault of the author. It was just cloudy yesterday, and the light was poor. But also, I couldn't remember why I had ordered it... or, to be more accurate, I couldn't recapture the feeling of wanting to engage with it. Furthermore, to my jaded eyes, a lot of it seemed to be, maybe (and this is based on an unfair skimming under bad conditions), of the "he strikes the same rib twice in succession" variety (the questioner goes on, "What are we to believe, that this is some sort of magic xylophone?"). I see that I have mentioned xylophones on the "blog" only twice before! That seems low. I've been doing this for, God, 17 years, please help me, though, of course, I stopped "blogging" in 2016. Well, all I really wanted to say, and it should come as no surprise to anyone who has a passing familiarity with Twin Peaks, is that this book has an owl in it.

An Incident Drawn from Life

Yesterday we saw a commercial in which a golf cart mat was presented as the perfect Father's Day gift. A father was so excited by his golf cart mat that he enacted a frantic dance of appreciation. At this point, I remarked, "Your golf cart mat isn't 'all that,' as the kids say." And Dr. Theresa wisely rejoined, "When was the last time the kids said that?" To which I admitted, "Probably when that movie came out," meaning SHE'S ALL THAT (1999). "That's what probably killed it," my baseless speculation continued. But then my brain jumped up in my head! I suddenly recalled, thanks to the fact that I had recorded it on the "blog," the time I was walking around in 2016 and heard a young woman tell her friend that scarlet fever wasn't "all that" as far as diseases go.

Going

It seems that I have six books going at once, a feat (?) not equaled since July 2020. I don’t know what it means, but it can’t be good, can it, given that timing? Troubled times! The usual number of books “going” is one or two. I have calculated, in fact, that it is always one or two, with the twin exceptions, from now and then, of six. It is never three, four, five, or seven. How can this be true? At some point they must have piled up, one by one. Furthermore, as two books cannot be finished simultaneously (can they?), the stack must likewise dwindle, 5, 4, 3, if only for the span of a word or two. One must also consider, I suppose, whether a "next book" is waiting to slide into its spot, complicating matters, but I'm already so tired. Now, I thought for a moment that I might escalate to seven, but I (ironically?) finished Megan Abbott’s new novel (maybe her best yet: dreamy and dangerous, with a gothic punch!) just before I was due to start another book that Megan Abbott and I are reading in our tiny book club consisting of only ourselves. Now! You may ask how I know a book is “going.” I can only answer that I know when a book is NOT going – when it has been abandoned. Not one of these books has been abandoned. Two of them may look that way to the untrained observer, but they are merely being read at a rate impossible to detect, much as someone told me in a dorm room once (was it McNeil?) that glass is nothing but a very slow-moving liquid (a claim for which I have sought no evidence in the three decades or so since I passively absorbed it - the claim, not the glass). For example, I was only a couple of pages into a Stephen King novel when Megan’s book arrived. The former, therefore, may appear as though I have not even begun to read it. But I have. In the case of Mann’s DOCTOR FAUSTUS, I may have come close to abandonment, but now I am too far along. It has attained a kind of glacial momentum. Here, I must admit that I was tempted to abandon THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN quite a few times during the first hundred pages or so. I’m glad I didn’t, as the final 800 or 900 pages really rollick along. They have a rootin’ tootin’ time in that tuberculosis sanatorium! In conclusion, for a book to be “going,” it must be made for reading (from cover to cover), as opposed to browsing, a distinction that I regret to say is not up for further exploration within our current framework.

Nestled Together

I'm rusty at the old jotting game. As you know, it used to be that when I went on a trip, I jotted everything for you in one of my dear old jotting books. Everybody was simply crazy about that! But then I stopped "blogging," and the last time I went to Los Angeles, why, I hardly even mentioned it. But since then, I quit social media, and as a result, I no longer have anything to do aside from the ocassional jot. Bearing that in mind, I shall now attempt to make you one of those lists that I used to make that everyone adored so much. 1. I asked a question at the front desk of the hotel and the desk clerk said he knew my voice! He said, "Are you Root Beer Guy?" I screamed back in his face, "YES!" That has never happened to me before (being recognized as Root Beer Guy, I mean; I have screamed enthusiastically into many faces), and, I dare say, never will again. (Full disclosure: on a later date, I overheard him telling a coworker "Did you know that guy is the King of Root Beer?" So maybe he didn't have the solid grasp on my character that I thought.) 2. I don't usually use conditioner on my hair. In fact, I would almost go so far as to say I never do. BUT! I figured, what the hell, this hotel conditioner is free. I'm going to put it on my hair! What's the worst than can happen? I also cleaned out my wallet. 3. Rode around with Richard, the chillest Uber driver in the world. If you're ever in California and need a ride, ask for Richard! 4. Remember the drugstore where I famously bought my expensive brush? And, let me double check, did I buy an expensive comb there? Once again, I scream, "YES!" Anyway, that drugstore is gone now! It's just not there. How could they have gone out of business? They must have been raking in a fortune on brushes and combs alone! All kidding aside, I miss you, fancy drugstore. Go with God! 5. I had steak Sinatra two nights in a row, once at Dan Tana's and once at The Smoke House. (I think I have erroneously called it "The Smokehouse" a few times in the past, but their official signage separates the smoke from the house.) I may have formerly insisted that Dan Tana's steak Sinatra is superior to the steak Sinatra at The Smoke House. On this ocassion, however, I must advance the opposite claim! The old Smoke House waiter stood and mixed the spaghetti in with the steak and peppers right at the table, but not with showy theatricality, no, just in the background, in a workmanlike fashion, getting the job done without undue fuss, which, of course, did not add to or subtract from the toothsome nature of the dish in question... OR DID IT? The result, in any case, was delectable. 5. I had stars in my eyes whilst consuming my steak Sinatra that night, for across the table from me sat Jesse Moynihan and his brother! Now, I have never met Jesse's brother before, and, as I have often boasted (most recently a few seconds ago), I quit social media. The only thing I miss about social media is "Pickle Minute," a thing that Jesse and his brother and some of their friends do on Instagram. I'm a big "Pickle Minute" fan! And there, at The Smoke House, I felt I was in a live episode of "Pickle Minute," as Jesse's brother took a photo of me pointing at a fried pickle. For, yes, having spotted fried pickles on the menu, how could two of the hosts of "Pickle Minute" resist placing that order? They could not. 6. Also at dinner, a guy named Joe I met at a party in 2012 and haven't seen or talked to since, but I remembered him, because you meet so few people you can talk about Anthony Braxton with! 7. Had a meeting scheduled at the Bob's Big Boy restaurant where David Lynch used to go every day. It turned out that Bob's Big Boy was too crowded to host the meeting, to my deep chagrin, as I thought it a wonderful coincidence that Lynchian muse Laura Dern was at Square Books in Oxford, Mississippi, whence I had come, at the very same time! 8. After the meeting, I walked around the neighborhood with a person who had been in the meeting with me. We wandered about, talking about the meeting, and what it meant, and sharing our regrets about the salad place across the street from Bob's Big Boy, where we had ended up. Finally, in our circular perambulations, we saw Bob's Big Boy looming before us. "Should we?" said the person. To which I again screamed, "YES!" By now, its lunchtime rush concluded, Bob's Big Boy was quite accommodating. The person ordered a slice of strawberry pie, because the Bob's Big Boy menu stated that the strawberries were "nestled together." When the pie came out, this person observed joyfully, "They ARE nestled together!" The person went on to declare the strawberry pie at Bob's Big Boy "maybe my favorite piece of pie." 9. I brought some Henry James to read on the airplane. I always found him tough going in the past. Anyway, this time, his characters were making lots of wisecracks and I was getting into it. 10. Well, I have left out many of the nice people I saw on the trip, and interesting events, but my jotting is not what it used to be. Special mention must be made of Hanna K Nystrom, who was flying in from Sweden just as I was about to fly back to Mississippi. She thoughtfully made time for breakfast in the brief Sweden-Mississippi overlap we enjoyed. We talked about how cold and gray it was. (Los Angeles was chilly and gray for the whole of my stay, once again lending some weight to the Lorenz Hart lyric.) Hanna said it was colder than Sweden!

Pleasure

It brings me no pleasure - or maybe it does; I can't tell - to report that I found a typo on page 369 of this edition of Mann's DOCTOR FAUSTUS. It's an "it's" for an "its," truly an all-timer of a typo, a typo for the hall of fame, must be one of the top 10 typos in English. I'm looking at you, Vintage International paperbacks!

What a Great Time

Lsst night Dr. Theresa and I were watching the Hitchcock movie FAMILY PLOT, and the bad guys were going to release their kidnapping victim, but he (the victim) said "I haven't finished my chicken yet." To which I hilariously responded "Who did they kidnap, Kent Osborne?" Because he loves to eat chicken! Only in our house could that line get a laugh, though, come to think of it, Dr. Theresa did not laugh. (See also.)

Bangers

I was reading the Thomas Mann novel DOCTOR FAUSTUS (though it seems to be on pause now) and there were a lot of allusions to LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST, so I did what anyone would do and picked up a copy of that Shakespeare play at good old Square Books. Thumbing through the introduction, I read about a 1978 production in which a "genuine owl" from outside the performance area, in the trees somewhere, joined in on the final song. Now! I thought to myself, will I have to put this on my big list with an asterisk, as I did once before for a volume with an owl in its scholarly introduction, hedging my bets as to whether that really counts? But it seemed to me that I knew just where to peek to find out whether the play itself contained the necessary owl. Knowing that LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST concludes with two absolute bangers ("click" here for more information about how I started using the term "bangers"), and reading closely the commentator's verb choice in observing that the owl in question "reinforced" the songs, I concluded that there might be an owl at the very end of LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST. And there is! "When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl/ Then nightly sings the staring owl." You know how it is!

Yesterday

Square Books called yesterday to let me know that my Peter Falk memoir had come in: it's the next selection in the Megan book club! Well, I had a doctor's appointment later that afternoon, so I moseyed to town a little early and ran into Shadan on the sidwalk... she's one of the excellent booksellers at Square Books, and let me emphasize that she wasn't even at work. She was just on the sidewalk in the middle of town, and she stopped to remind me that she and I like a lot of the same books, to which I replied that indeed we do. So she told me about a book she thought I would really enjoy: THE BLIND OWL by Sadegh Hedayat, and she even described in detail where I would find it in the shop, like a human GPS! This was just a friendly gesture on her part, I had caught her outside of work - now, that's what I call a bookseller! And she didn't even know about my owl problem. So I went to the bookstore, and the book was just where she had said it would be, and I read on the back cover that it is "a haunting tale of loss and spiritual degradation," or, as I call it, "The Bill Boyle Seal of Approval." In fact, if I knew anything about Venn diagrams, or what they are, I could show you how a certain subset of books perfectly overlaps in the preferences of Bill, Shadan, and myself. But the adventures of the day were just beginning! Off I went to the doctor. The nurse who took my blood pressure recorded the results on a piece of paper, and as she did so, she said, "Wow, this pen is great. I wonder where I stole it from." That's an exact quotation! So I said, "What kind of pen is it? I'm always on the lookout for a good pen!" And she looked at the side of the pen and read from it the brand name "EnerGel." And that is what is so damn weird, I tell you! Just ONE DAY EARLIER, I had "posted" a chapter of my serialzed novel SOUR BLUEBERRIES, in which one of the protagonists similarly uses a pen that does not belong to him, is amazed by its high quality, and discovers that it goes by the brand name EnerGel! WHAT! I conclude by assuring you that I am no paid shill for the EnerGel corporation, it is just a weird thing that happened.

McNeil Special

Typing "McNeil Special" made me hungry for a J.J. Special, ha ha, good times, that allusion is only for me, not to mention which, it is the truth. Very similarly, and much like the time Public Enemy and Jerry Lewis appeared on the same episode of The Tonight Show, this "post" is only for McNeil. I am sure you will recall - because you are McNeil - McNeil's interest in the generational ubiquity of the "Globe Illustrated Shakespeare." That is why I snapped this photo of it (above) during a recent viewing of a film entitled MARRIED TO IT. For those who are not McNeil, if any, it is the chunky red number on the top visible shelf over Cybill Shepherd's head, characteristically daubed with gilt - the book, that is, not Cybill Shepherd's head, which is in need of no such embellishment.

Looking

Look, I don't "blog" anymore unless it's really important, and I just saw a Dairy Queen commercial I needed to tell you about. I'm the first to say I don't know a darn thing about Dairy Queen, except for what I wrote in Chapter 84 ("click" here) of my acclaimed alphabetized serialzed novel SOUR BLUEBERRIES, but, that being said, in this Dairy Queen commercial, the announcer brags of a "tasty-looking burger" served at nationwide Dairy Queen establishments. Tasty LOOKING. He seemingly can't bring himself to say it tastes good! And he's the announcer in the commercial, reading from a script that has been prepared for him especially for the occasion!

The Waiter's Secret

Well, there was a piece in the online version of today's New York Times where the fancy big shots who work there extolled in hushed, reverent awe the incomparable virtues of Skippy brand peanut butter, and that reminded me of a time when Dr. Theresa (before she was a Dr.) and I used to go to this restaurant in Atlanta, where we really enjoyed the peanut butter pie. One night, the waiter asked us if we knew why it was so good, and we said no, and he leaned in close, over the table, and said, behind his hand, from the side of his mouth, in a funny, conspiratorial voice, which we have imitated for all these years since, a single word: "Skippy." Just think of all the time we have spent, Dr. Theresa and I, saying "Skippy" to each other in a funny voice, never knowing that the waiter who said "Skippy" would one day be validated by the wonderful Gray Lady in all her glory. Anyway, Dr. Theresa is downstairs trying to work as I type these words, and I went down and asked her what the name of the restaurant was, but neither of us could remember. It didn't last too long. It was behind the post office.

Sex and Power

Such is my curse: I was watching TCM last night and there was young William Powell as a man of importance. He put a cigarette in his mouth and a dozen underlings rushed forward with a light. I am doomed for all eternity to notice this gesture, which is sometimes about sex, sometimes about power, probably always about both, as I have said before, but neglected to mention in my cigarette lighter book (the part about power, anyway). The good news is that the resulting title of this "post" is sure to make "blogs" popular again.