I, Professor

It is time for our daily quotation from WAKE UP, SIR!, a novel by Jonathan Ames. Today's quotation from WAKE UP, SIR! occurs when the narrator reveals how he learned that desire equals pain from the "back of a ginger tea box. Most of what I know of Buddhism," (he goes on) "comes from tea boxes." Our segment does not bear its usual title ("Your Daily 'Wake Up' Call") because I have decided to tell you that I will be "teaching" Mr. Ames's book in the fall. That's right, I have become an actual college professor! I know! I am as stunned as you. But it has happened. In addition to WAKE UP, SIR!, we will study THE DUD AVOCADO by Elaine Dundy, GOD'S COUNTRY by Percival Everett, MASTERS OF ATLANTIS by Charles Portis, THE TEACHINGS OF DON B. by Donald Barthelme, PASTORALIA by George Saunders, and THE THIRD POLICEMAN by Flann O'Brien. Then there are the excerpts: from ROUGHING IT and THE ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN (both by Mark Twain), Shelly Fisher Fishkin's WAS HUCK BLACK?, THE CODE OF THE WOOSTERS by P.G. Wodehouse, THE RETURN OF SIMPLE by Langston Hughes, and some short pieces by S.J. Perelman and Woody Allen. Have I said too much? Am I tipping my hand? Is it frowned upon? Am I giving away the milk for free? I don't know! I'm new at this. But I intend to do my best. Perhaps some of you at home would like to read those novels and pretend you are in the class! They are good novels or I wouldn't have picked them.